[lisasmom2]

Catholic Charitites are by far the most deceitful agency out there........and there are many. Since I am the one helping Jennie78, I have been very interested in anyone who has used CC. I had 2 adoptees who we finally found their birthmothers(no thanks to CC) and both of their birthdays were wrong. I called both CC's (different states) on it and they both said it was a typo.......what are the chances that I have 2 out of the millions of CC adoptees and both had typos??? PLEASE!!!! Here's what they did. One adoptee thought her birthday was on the 21st when actually it was the 12th. The other thought his birthday was 4/2 when it actually was 2/4. My research with others in reunion have been wrong by acouple of days to 3 months. If you were adopted at birth, then they'll change by days, if the adoption is older, they'll change by months. Expand your search dates. Jennie, I'm still searching.
Hugs
Susan

[Jennie_78]

Thank you Susan,

[pollylday]

Lisa,
I live in Ky., and have to deal with C.C., in Louisville. At first I dealt with a older lady named Angela McKnight, and she was very nice and gave me my daughters d.o.b., because I was told the date I knew for 30 years was not correct I had held 6/26, in my heart, when I got the births for that month, a P.I., informed me I was wrong about her D.O.B., and was in fact the 6/27, then a few months later a search angel, said she thought that date was wrong and it was in fact the 6/26, that I always thought it was. When I had talked with Ms. McKnight, the FIRST TIME, as I said she was very nice and said if the was anything else she could do for she would be very happy to help, I gave her a letter to add to my file that contact was ok, just in case my b/d, was searching. But after that the next time I called C.C., I was told the same lady was not there, the new lady was hateful, to the point of being rude. I have tried several more times to get the first lady back on the phone and even stopped by the office one day and everytime I have been told she was either not there or out for the day, and don't know when she would return. At first I was ok with this, but now I not, and wonder what they are hinding and way. My search is a dead end again, thanks to them. What really scares me, what if my b/d, is looking, what lies are they telling her?????????????? Thanks for letting my vent.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

I was handled out of CC also..in MO. the MO law is darn near impossible to deal with. I got a copy of the non id info which had my bdate. In MO if the agency, and the court, do not get the ok from both bparents then no id info can be released. If the bmom is found and says yes but the bdad cannot be found then they may release. In my case the bdad cound not be found and the bmom did not answer the mail ( she had an unlisted phone no.) so in that case no info was allowed to go out. So I hired a PI and got the info and my bdate was correct. However in my case, first my parents were advised that I was available then there was bio family discussion that perhaps an aunt would raise me and then the third go around the decision was made that for the " benefit of the other children" I had to be placed..

So finally last Sept I called my bmom...first I told her my name and where I was calling from and that I was calling about a personal matter and asked if this was a good time to speak. When she said yes, I gave my birthdate. To this she said "I prefer not to pursue this"..so I believe my bdate is correct..rats I was hoping I was younger! But my bmom made it clear she wants nothing to do with me.

At times I was frustrated with CC but in retrospect, after talking to the gal at the court I learned that the CI assignes my case was now wanting to close..she had been seraching for a year and that is way longer than they normally spend at it. And the gal at the court was able to tell me more in a clouded way so that I knew some things that were not on the non id info papers.

The bottom line is that some states are really hard to deal with.. I don't know if it is really the people at the agencies who won't help or if they get their hands tied. If the CI or the gal at the court gave me info they were not permitted to by MO law they would have faced misdemenor charges...

So I went to the PI and since then, I went to the states where I learned my grandparents died and got the obits and also went to the SSN folks and got the copy of an application of my grandmom's application and that is how I found out the first name I was given was grandmamma's. That made me feel like at least someone in the bio family cared..cared enough to give me her name. and that gives me a warm and comforting feeling.

[Jennie_78]

See, everyone I have ever come in contact with that is adopted out of CC or has adopted a child from CC says the same thing. They are a backwards agency with double standards. This is suppose to be a christian agency, with the well being of everyone being one of their standards. They should not call themselves christians the way they are acting and running their business. I am 25 yrs old, and have been searching since I was 15. With the info I was given at birth and the small extra info I have recieved from them, I have NEVER been able to find anything on my Birthparents. I even have a searcher who has been tring to help me for 2 yrs now. And nothing. So they can't tell me that what I have is correct. IF that was so, then I would have had some concrete info to go on now. And I don't. It's very hard for me, and those people who work at CC, and have no idea how it actaully is to be adopted and to have a dead end search. Or to be a person who has given a baby up and is now seeking to find out how she is. They don't know, and I am willing to be anyone, that 99% of the people who work there do not have the personal experience to tell me they know how I feel. Because they don't. Reading books on adoption and studing social services in college does not qualify them enough to understand what we go through. Pesonal experience and dedication to helping people is what qualifies. I wish you the best of luck in your search. Please don't ever give up. That's what they want you to do. They will try to discourage you in every way they can.

[marls95]

I am sitting here reading all of this with tears in my eyes. I, too, have been adopted through CC Illinois & this is the first I have ever heard of them switching birth dates. How awful! How many people are out there on wild goose chases? Makes you wonder how anybody can be found.

[krickybell]

My brother and I were both adopted through Catholic Charities in Tampa FL. He has found his birthmother and all of his information was correct. He found someone at the agency he could trust. She did everything she could to help him. I am now contacting her myself to see if she can help me too. I am very hopeful. He said he talked to several people before he found someone there that was willing to help him. So keep trying until you find someone there you can trust.

Good Luck to all that are still searching and congratulations to those that have reunited.

Happy Holidays to all!

Kristin: Female Adoptee ISO Birthfamily, born 7/4/64 in Tampa FL

[Jennie_78]

All my thoughts and prayers are with all the people who are searching for someone. It's hard when you have nothing but dead ends all year long. And it's even harder when the holidays come along and still no luck. Even with the void in our hearts, fustrations, and all the dead ends. We still have family and friends who are with us in our everyday and love us more than any one else ever could. Not to mention the special people who volunteer to help us in our searches and stay patiently waiting with us. Even when it seems all hope is gone. For anyone who has ever replyed to my posts' with the upmost sincerity, concern, and hope for me. I want to say thank you for your kindness. I hope you have a wonderful holiday and blessed new years. Take care!

[chyna58@aol.com]

I was born 4/7/1958 in I think Bethesda, Md. Catholic charities of course was the adoption agency. Due to several health problems, my (Mom) took me to Catholic Charities to try to get any type of information that we could. I was about 15/16 years old at the time.Everything that was told to my adoptive parents at the time of my adoption, was completely different from what they told my Mom & I years later. I have a child that was born in 1975 that I was given no choice to keep by my Parents, and they made me give my Son up for adoption through Catholic Charities. At the time of his birth we did not know that the story of my own birth would be so completely different. I am a 46 year old women that sits on both sides of the adoption table. I
am crushed at the lies that were promised to me at the time that I gave my own Son up. My Son will be 30 years old in August and there is not a day that goes by that I don't shed a tear for him. I ache to tell him that he was always Loved and always wanted, but thanks to Catholic Charities I may never get that chance. I was raised Catholic and was raised to trust people, someone explain to me how you are supposed to do that when the people that hold the most important thing to your heart have lied to you!
I grew up hateing my birth mother, and that is an easy word to say, but to actually feel hate is a terrible way to live. I hated her because I beleived that what catholic charities told me was the truth and that she never loved me and never wanted me. And I have gone through 29years praying to God that my own Son did'nt hate me as well because I don't know what they might have told him about me. Ther must be some type of law that is being broken by these lies being told by Catholic Charities . We all row up and we deserve answers, and by telling the truth they could also be saving lives. Medical problems that maybe if we knew about early on could be taken care of. I wonder how many of these Nuns and other employees that work for Catholic Charities would feel if they lost there child and that child was found and alright but noone ever said anything to them that their child was safe, alive and loved! God bless them on judgement day...........

[kristendavis]

I am having the very same problem you are i was told that i was born 12/20/1975 and with this info thought i had a match and now they are telling me no i was born 12/25/75 but my amended birth certificate says 12/26/1976. Help!! I am totally confused as well so i can totally relate to you.

Kristen

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Have you got the copies of your Non Identifying Inforamtion from CC? When I got mine, among other things, it had the time and date of my birth, dates of doctor visits ( I was in CC for several months and it looks like there were well baby visits once a month).

Also on the amended birth certificate my amom's last name ( her maiden name) was misspelled. I checked on my brother's copy and her name was typed with the same misspelling. Typos I suspect. If you have your non id info I'd be inclined to go with that date.

Another thing...having nothing to do with CC but is an interesting aside...my amom was born at night. Her father delivered her. They lived on a farm in ND. There was confusion about the time and date of her birth. She was given the name Palma to honor Palm Sunday which is when her mother said she was born. But her birthday was always celebrated on the 19th. One day I saw a calendar for the year of her birth and Palm Sunday was actually the 20th. So regarding the date 25 or 26 maybe something similar happend.

[cpacfa]

With Catholic Charities behaving like this, especially doctoring records and exhibiting deceptive practices, it sounds to me like a Class Action Lawsuit is very much what is needed.

Are there any attorneys in practice that are interested in initiating such a suit? Having been adopted through Catholic Charities and beginning my search for my roots all of this is very disconcerting to me. I would be interested (and very motivated) in being the lead plaintiff if I have any indication that they have doctored my records or are deceiving me.

Please contact me if you wish to discuss seriously at strategicfunds@hotmail.com

[kristendavis]

They are refusing to send me anything until i start sending them money so the only thing i have is the amended birth certificate.

[joanne1968]

good luck if your dealing with cc in chicago. i cant even get them to give me hospital i was born in. its nuts. my sister has found info thru a pi, i strongly suggest this route, there are several out there that will help you, one lady is in florida and she is an adoptee herself. i read an article on her the other day. i have an amended bc too, with no name of hospital. i have called several times in the past and present only to be lead around like a puppy. i have my non id info,and belive it or not my bmoms name, and still its hard to locate. just hoping its all accurate, so far it has been, but they didnt ever tell me about an older sister, i got her for christmas this year. shes great. but it was with no help from cc, it was this site where she found me. i wish yall luck. its very discouraging, some laws need to be changed, atleast to gain medical information.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

If you ever decide to hire a PI to do a search, be sure to check them out carefully. One thing to be alert for is if the PI has a NO FIND NO FEE POLICY and just what it means, The PI I hired has this policy and should she find the person and should the person be deceased, there would be a fee since the person was found. If she simply could not find a name or any information there was to be no fee. The PI I used is well known and well recommended. Before I hired her I checked her out carefully and would recommend her in PM mail.

As to a fee with CC, I dealt with CC in MO and to get my non id info in 2003 it was 50 dollars and for a full search an additional 200 dollars. I went for the full search and the PI worked her heart out for me and came up with nothing as my bmom, whom she located, would not answer the mail. So eventually the court ordered my case closed. I don't know what MO fees are now.