[willowtree9963]

I have recently discovered a posting on a birth registry that matched my birth daughter. I was so excited...her name was there. I did a little more research and was able to locate her adopted parents. I called and spoke with her mother...it was quite emotional. All her mom would do is take my phone number and told me she would talk to her. I was afraid to pry too much. That was back in August and I have yet to hear anything from her. I have tried several times to call her mom, but all I seem to get is an answering machine. I am confused and hurt. At one time she was searching for me and now to not hear anything after more than a month, I am really aching inside. It's been 25 years since the adoption thru Catholic Services at her birth and I really wish I could explain things to her about that time in my life. I have sent a letter to an address that was no good and I got the letter back. Last week I sent another letter to another address I came across and I still haven't heard anything or gotten the letter back yet. I just need reassurance that this is a matter of time thing...that she is just considering things before she calls me. I am so close and I can't give up now. She has a daughter of her own now. I just need to know something...I just want to talk to her. I fear she wants nothing to do with me.

[spitzlvr]

Is there any possibility the Mom didn't give her the message? If she posted, then she was looking. I understand needing time (I am an adoptee that found my bMom in May 2004), but if she was looking I would think you would hear something. Or get more than the answering machine at her Moms.

Just my opinion

[willowtree9963]

I'm not sure of anything at this point. Maybe I just haven't called at the right time. I know nothing about my daughter, but I do know where her mom works...I just don't want to call her there and get her all upset. I am trying to be as careful and tactful as I can, but it is getting very hard to be patient. I do know that when that posting was made, she had just had her baby and they were wanting medical info...unfortunately, I did not see the posting until 3 years later, but the baby is fine now according to her mom. So, maybe the contact wasn't for her but for her child. I don't know, but I am confused to say the least. I'm not going to give up, but I just want to do this the right way. Thank you for your response.
Tammy

[nugget]

Did her post have a contact email or maybe you could pm her. If it were my mom you had talked to (i am an adoptee) I'm sure it would have been an emotional conversation but I am also sure that my amom would not have told me about the call or passed on the message. Please don't give up as her amom might not have told her. I would redirect a contact try through however she posted it in her post. And if she didn't post a way to contact her then reply to her post and send her a private message.
Keep us updated and I'll keep you in my thoughts.
Wendy

[willowtree9963]

Thank you, Wendy. There were two email addresses on the post, but the post wasn't on a message board, it was on a birth registry at birthfamily.com so it cannot be responded to. Unfortunately, the email addresses were old and my emails were rejected. Luckily she put her name there. Believe me, I have tried in every way I can think of to find her. I got lucky and someone sent me a private message about that birth registry from one of my postings here and that was the day I found that website and found her. I am just baffled. So you really think her mom didn't give her the message? I just can't imagine...but I am not in her shoes right now. She is probably wanting me just to go away.

[nugget]

Well I can't speak for her mom but I KNOW that my mom would not have given me the message.
You said she has a daughter. Is she married as well? You can do a marriage liscense look up as well and then make sure you have the correct land mail addy.
There is always the chance that she needs some time but if it were me I would want to at least make sure she knows you are trying to contact her.
I'm going to send you a pm really quick.....
Wendy

[willowtree9963]

No, she is not married. I got that info from a former landlord of hers...I ran across that info totally by accident and i called her to see if she had any forwarding info...no luck. She did take my info though in case she saw her. She also told me that at one time she thought she worked at nursing home and I called three in the area including a clinic...no luck. I did speak to someone who had gone to school with her but she had not kept in touch, and I gave her my info in case she saw her...which she had just the weekend before...but didn't have my info then. I have been so close...but yet so far.
Tammy

[angelsnop]

try voter registration information in her area. i found one of my daughters this way.

good luck

[restalyne]

I suspect that your child never received the information. go through the agency at this point and have an intermediary help...

[Daniel5]

I can only give you my opinion and experience as an adoptee.

I have an adoptive mother that I believe would not pass the information on to me.

The fact that you found a match on the registry if proof that she is looking for you and for me, that search only grows with birth of your own children.

1) I would look to contact her through your adoption agency, 2) through the atty that handled the adoption as they should have her adoptive name info in the adoption decree, or 3) contact the proper state vital statistics office and request the birth certificate under the name you gave her, if you legally named her. Depending on the state, the sealed certificate should lead to the adoptive certificate, which should have her legal adoptive name.

Glad to hear you intend to pursue her even with these roadblocks.

Best of luck.