[Margaret1960]

I was adopted through CC in Charleston, SC. My experience has been nothing short of awful. I began my search 18 years ago and am still at it devouring any scrap of info they throw my way. Sister Elaine once asked me if I was mal-adjusted because I wanted to search for my birthmother. I replied it takes a great deal of courage and conviction to search. I was born March 24, 1960 at Divine Saviour Hospital in York, SC (referred to as a baby mill run by nuns) A woman in the hospital met my birthmother, didn't get a name, but told me the nuns were all over this girl and wouldn't let her talk to anyone. This woman said my birthmother cried alone in her room for about a week. Luckily, this woman snuck in a offered some kind words to the 16 year old girl. I thanked the woman for being compassionate towards my mother. I don't understand how people who gave themselves to God could be so cruel to young girls; treating them as if they weren't human beings with feelings. and now how can they treat adoptees in much the same manner. I am considering doing a piece about CC for a newspaper. I would love to hear from anyone else adopted through CC or any birthmother who dealt with CC.
Thanks, Margaret (aka the infant known as Mary)

[Elizabeth40]

I also was adopted from a Catholic ???, I was born in Cinn. Ohio 11/18/62 All I know is my Mother was 5"2 Strawberry Blonde hair,was a Lifeguard, my father was 6"2, this came from my Adoptive Parents. I have just now found my Birth Cert. I was not "Legal" until 1965? I was adopted at 6ms. I have paid the $20.00 to the State of Ohio to get my records. It was finished in Ga. so I don't know.

[zebra19]

i was adopted from cc in illinois in 1962. u talk about alot of red tape. just covering each other's a****. can't find out anything from them because it was a private adoption.

[iwannabamommy]

why is it thatthis Non Profit Agency want sus the adoptees to pay for our birth records?? In this day and age we should be entitled to our information. Medical history is a ll I want, I do not want to interfere in their lives. Non identifying info will not help me to get the medical history I need and deserve to know. What a shame that this agency is not concerned with us or the families they are working with today. Catholic Charities is just out to get as much $$ as possible for babies.

Just my .02

[MKW]

Hi everyone,

I'm not sure I can offer any of you any consolation, but I'd like to try and give you a bit of a different outlook on your experiences with Catholic Charities.
First of all, for all of you who have had bad experiences with nuns - I am so sorry. (Yes, I am one - give me a chance). Please try and understand how incredibly different society was in the 1950's and 60's. It was a disgrace for young girls to be pregnant out of wedlock - and my b-mom was one of those - and the sisters were trying their very hardest to do the best they knew how at the time. Society was different, church was different. Even your bad experience 18 years ago reflects on that old way of thinking - that these girls needed to be hidden from society, families felt that way too don't forget. I can assure you that things would be very different now. Margaret (I was a baby Mary too), when was the last time you talked to CC? I so hope by now that someone is in that position who would look at things differently. It may be worth a second try.
As far as having to pay for records, well, they are a non-profit organization - and the fees they are charging are helping to pay for the salaries of those who work there, upkeep of their facilities, etc. I'm not saying it's comfortable, or feels right, but it simply is the way it is. They are not trying to make more money off adoptions - please try and believe that.
Yes, I've actually had a positive experience with CC - even though I had to stay on their backs, and have a face to face meeting with the woman who conducted my search. But she nailed my search - and found my b-mom within 6 days of my giving her the go ahead for a full search. Zebra, what CC are you trying to deal with? I worked through the office in Elgin and was incredibly successful. If I can help, let me know.
I just had to say all this. Thanks for listening.

MKW

[zebra19]

hi,
i understand rules and society were different than it is now. well of course, times have changed. and so should laws on adoption. what right does someone have to deny us our medical records? i had many female problems that resulted in losing children to miscarriages and stillborns because if genetics. maybe if i would have know this, i could have spared 3 lives and the hurt i went thru. plus all the cancer wins. i had cancer when i was 5 yrs. old. isn't that enought o open med. files. i've beat cancer 5 times in my life.i have 2 sons and 1 daughter, so especially now , i need my med. records so i know what to expect with my daughter genetically. i live in illinois and was adopted out of catholic charites in downtown chicago. st. vincents was also involved. if i ever meet my b-moom, cool, if not that's allright too. i just want to know where our rights start? i was taught that my b-mom loved me so much she gave me up to have a better life (which i did- 2 of the greatest parents). so now i only know if something loves you, it leaves. and i wonder why my life has been so confused w/ trust issues and abandoment issues. everybody has different views on adoption. my sister (an adoptee too) wants to meet her b-mom to tell her off. i just want to meet mine to thank her. my mom just died and maybe this is bringing all this out. i just know my parents went thru hell to get me-enotionally and monetarially. their lawyer soaked them i just wished i would have asked more questions while ahe was alive. i know she would have answered them if she knew, we just never talked about it. i just know they called my sister and i special because we were chosen. that was enough for me growing up. i didn't mean to sound rude. if you know of anything i could do to make my search easier, i'd appreciatr it. god bless!

[Liepolds]

Let me tell you, I feel your pain!

I was adopted through CSS in Detroit, MI 1970. At about 21 I contacted CSS about getting my non-id info. The women that ran that department was awful. Infact, most people looking to find their information through that agency knows this womens name because of her rudeness. She is almost legendary! I sent the check back and 6 months went by and I heard nothing. I hesitantly called because, to be honest, I was young and afraid of her. She said she never received anything and I should re-send. I sent her proof the check went through and still NOTHING! I got frustrated and let if go, for years. In my late 20's I contacted again, and she was still there rude as ever! I explained my situation, and she said she had no record of any of this. It discouraged me and I gave up.

Well, I am 34 now and DH and I are adopting and I decided to call CSS in Detroit again to see if I could get my information. Thankfully there is a new person but, she has no record of my file to get information and I don't have the cancelled check anymore, so, I have to send the money and do the whole process again.

Here is the other kicker! Being adopted through CSS and deciding to adopt, I contacted the CSS in my area for information and I never received anything! I even called half a dozen times to speak to someone. I left messages, and have 2 months later, not received ONE DARN phone call! That is disgusting to me. We are going through a private agency. My parents are also disgusted with the way CSS handled the situation. Our family is firm Catholic believers. We all go to church, have faith, give to our church financially and with our time and not one call! I have sort of lost my faith in CSS after all of this. I still love being Catholic, but, man the whole thing makes my blood boil everytime I think of my story.

Kim

[zebra19]

my adopted parents were strict catholics and church goers. i was when i was little. not now. i'm catholic but don't believe in the catholic church anymore. after dealing with cc and all the priests in the news, i might even not consider changing my religion...lol

[zebra19]

sorry- i meant " i might consider changing my religion

[MKW]

Jane,

I am so sorry for everything you have suffered. I just can't even imagine dealing with everything you have gone through - I just can't.
Yes, you are absolutely right - we as adoptees should have a right to all our records. We need to know medical history, genetic history, social history, etc. Unfortunately, the state (in its infinite wisdom ), decided many years ago that they needed to "protect the birthmother's confidentiality". (Ask any birthmom - they weren't promised that). So, they slammed the door on all adoption records and sealed them to the adoptee. However, Illinois does have what they call a "confidential intermediary" program in which you petition the court to appoint such a person to your case - and they would have access to your records and open them, and share with you what they are able. The court must appoint this person - it is the law now. I've given you the information to contact them below. Just try - make the phone call - and see what you can find out.

Note: The State of Illinois has a “Confidential Intermediary” search program that will locate and contact birth relatives.

Using a confidential intermediary:
Adopted adults 18 or older and adoptive parents of an adoptee younger than 18 may use the confidential intermediary service. Birth parents of an adoptee 21 or older may use the service. The State of Illinois or the adoption agency that handled your adoption will provide this service. Be aware that the person that is contacted has the right to decline contact and if that happens you will not be given any contact or identifying information to contact them yourself.

Contact the adoption agency that facilitated the adoption or the office below:

State of Illinois
Confidential Intermediary Service
3158 Des Plaines River Road
Suite 120
Des Plaines, IL 60018
(847) 298-9096; (847) 298-9097
(847) 298-9097 (fax)


Hope this helps a little.

MKW

[zebra19]

what if u'r mom was 18 at the time of birth? i know cc liked to change dates by 1 day or 1 yr. yo avoid adoptees from searching successfully. i had some good leads yesterday. right name wrong family. i got new good leads today. i hope i got the right family. i just think my mom's passing has brought all this out, because i wasn't interested in this before. thx for the concern. i just know it was all covered up. i have my adoption certificate but an ammended b-cert. my sister went to get hers and while she was there the guy asked if she had a name change. she said she was adopted. apparently he was holding her original but couldn't give it to her. she had to wait 2 weeks to get the ammended one. i told her i would have knocked him out and ran...lol this just isn't right. thx

[zebra19]

i keep getting can't be displayed on the link you have. thx

[zebra19]

if anyone has answers on how to override cc or st. vincents in chdo., il, please let me know. i have made so many call, i'm ready to charge cc for my tele. bill...lol now i;m getting upset, iwant my med. records. i don't even care if she wants to meet me , i just need to know what can be passed doen to my children. thx jane

[sherrykimball]

i was lucky the lady i talked to @ cc in MO has been very helpful but i also know the names of my bparnets i was born in kan. & their an open state. but Mo. since i already know names you would think i could have my records

[ojuliet]

Even into the late 70's it appears that CC misguided many. After so much search and heartache I then find out how they switched bdays to make any search difficult. I am a bmom out of Springfield Ill(St, Monica's) There was no guidance after- just the assumtion that they send you back to a "normal" life and to act that nothing happened. No wonder so many go through a sort of memory loss surrounding bdays. So many I have come into contact with have had a hard time trying to make sure they had the date of birth correct. I tell people now that I am a recovering Catholic,sort of like an alcoholic. There is so much that I would not have done if they had not been involved. Back then if you were some young girl from a "good family" no one dared to tell you that there was welfare or other options. How was I to know? I don't mean to sound bitter but this has been a tough week-I thought last Sunday that I had finally found my son but it turned out he was not. The sad thing- he wrote me back to tell me that when he had found his own bmom she really wanted nothing to do with him.