St Elizabeths Yardville NJ 1963 B Mom's or Daughter 12/22/63
I would love to connect with any birth mom's who were at Saint Elizabeth's Home in Yardville New Jersey, or any people who were adopted from there during that time. I was there from 9/63 to 12/63. I was told that my daughter, who was born on 12/22, died before birth due to a knot in the cord, but there were some VERY stange things surrounding this "death". I was given general anesthesia so never got to see her or hear what was going on. The Dr I had for delivery was one of the one's we all feared getting..he hated the "unwed mothers" from St E's and did everything in his power to let us know that! I wasn't even told about my daughters status until the next day and I had to literally pin him to a wall in the elevator to get any details at all. His response was something like "why do you care"? Nice, huh? I was not allowed to see the baby. I went to her grave site 6 weeks later and there was NO MARKER and no record of her coming in for buriel (I looked in the caretaker's book and he confirmed no buriels on that date) and no recently dug up earth in the baby section of the cemetary! Her death certificate (which I was never given..had to send for it years later) stated that she was buried 12/26. I tried to raise a stink with Catholic Charities and got nowhere. Being a kid, I just let it go, not knowing where else to turn. I went back again a few months later and her marker was there...strange. If there was some kind of black market activity, I would have to assume it was the doctor's doing and would have been done without the knowledge of Catholic Charities....at least that's what I would assume. The more I read, the more I'm not so sure about that...but what would be in it for CC to be involved in the black market? Doesn't make sense. How would a Dr in a well known hospital pull that off? If she was really alive, she would have all false records and I would have no way to find her, nor would she be able to find me! I would be interested in hearing from anyone who was at St E's in 63, or from anyone who has any thoughts or knowledge about black market adoption activities in that timeframe. Sorry this was so long...thanks for reading...thanks much!
You have me wondering...
I recently contacted CC in Burlington because I wanted to learn more about me (the adoptee). I sent in $100 and was sent a file of info...it just so happens my mother was at St. Elizabeth's in Yardville from August-November 1968 and I was a month premature but delivered at St. Francis...Your e-mail has me skeptical about the validity of info I have received or was it fudged a bit including my birthdate.
I cannot imagine what it is to have been through what you have been through and hope that you will meet up with you baby someday!
Hmmm..I really don't know about the validity of your info. I, too, contacted Burlington and found them pleasant to work with. Unfortunately, (so they say) 4 years ago they destroyed any records of babies who died or who's Moms kept them, so I couldn't get my records. I did get my records from the hospital (once I remembered what my phony name was (St E's used 1st letter of Mom's real last name to make up a name) that was used for hosptial admittance). Everything on the records points to my daughter being stillborn, so I will have to go with that.
While you are searching, I would state that your birthday could be a couple days to a week "off", just to cover all bases. Did CC give you any info that will help you search? Did they say they would attempt to locate your BMom for a fee or just put a note in your records that you are searching, in case she contacts them and is searching for you?
One thing that I will pass along to you because I think it is very important for you to know....I met many women while I was there and NOT ONE wanted to give up her child! In those days, we had no choice...we were social outcasts and hidden by our families to avoid the shame for all. When the babies were discharged from the hospital, they came back to the nursery at St E's and we signed up for shifts to take care of them. Those babies received much love and caring in their first weeks of life..and watched us shed many tears as we rocked them and held them and cried for the loss that was about to come.
I wish you all the luck in the world! Join every message board that you can, use every search engine that you can find, hire a reputable private investigator if you can afford it. Never stop looking! I hope that you are successful in your search.
Thanks for your reply...Lots you have given me to think about.
The info that was given to me was the first name of the birthmother and birthfather. Their ages, their eyes, height, their heritage (Irish, Italian etc). It stated that my mother was one of nine siblings.
My approach to all of this is I realize things were hush hush in those days because having a baby out of wedlock was such the "faux pas". So, a waman held me in her womb for almost 40 weeks and I have to believe that somewhere in her heart she wonders about me as I wonder about her...I have no feelings of ill-will and if anything would merely like to give her a big hug and thank her for the opportunity of having a life. I've done alright! I now have 2 children of my own and I look at them everyday because it is the first time in my life that I have ever had anything that resembles me.
I am thinking about paying the $900 so CC can "possibly" locate my mother...I feel leery about contacting a private investigator if my information may or may not even be valid based on what they sent me and the stories I have heard.
I did tell Nancy at CC that she could put a note in the file stating I was looking in case after 35 years my birthmom ever wanted to reach out to me in the interim.
I am prepared for this to be a slap in the face but although I was not brought into this world by a mother and father that were commited in the insititution of marriage, I have to believe that some level of releif will come out of this search that has taken me 35 years to embark upon...and again, the mere motivation for doing this is now is I have kids of my own.
Thanks for your kind words and any other web sites that you think my be helpful...do not hesitate to give me advice!
I read yr posting w/ a heavy heart and keep searching your loved one will be revealed to you. Purpose of my inquiry - while you were in St. Elizabeth's in 1963 - was there any child that entered given Yardville as a last name? I have found my sister on one of these sites - all vitals match - her adopted last name was Yardville. That last name does not exist. I am thinking she may have been sent from Cleveland Social Svs when we were taken away from family (she was on 5 months old) which would have been 9/63. Do you have any recollection. When I seached Yardville it struck me that there was a nursery for babies to be adopted there which led me to believe she was sent there. Bless you if you have any info. to lend. God Bless. .. Bruce
HI Bruce ~
Thanks for your message and kind words. You said that you DID locate your sister? How did you find her? HOORAY if that is correct. How VERY strange that she was given the last name of Yardville...that was not her adoptive parents last name? or are you saying that Catholic Charities gave her that name for their records? The babies that were at St Elizabeths were the babies of the unwed mom's who were staying at St E's and then gave birth. The babies came back there before they went to their adoptive homes. We didn't pat attention to names as only the babies first name was on the cradle card, as I remember. However, from what I have heard about C Charities and how they operated back then, it would have been entirely possible that a baby could be sent from another state to St E's to wait for the adoption. Were you children taken by Social Services and then off to Cath Carities or did your birth Mom relinquish you to CC?
Linda, thanks for you prompt reply. Yes I did find info. on my sister on another website - exact vitals, mom/dad surnames, exact dob - however, she has not answered the email i sent thru that site. Her adopted name was Yardville ... in searching the white pgs for US/Canada there is not one listing for a Yardville, I don't believe it to be a last name. What I did come across that raised curosity was St. E's and that babies were sent there from other states. We were 5 children taken into custody by social services in Cleveland and all given away - my sister was only 5 months at the time, I was 5. I am searching now to reunite with my siblings. I know St.E's was grabbing at staws but I am trying every lead, every connection.
Hi Bruce `
I agree...not being able to find the name Yardville in any phone directory is more than just odd! It could very well be that she was sent to St E's before placement and I do know for a fact that St E's changed names, birthdates, etc on Mom's and babies..."in order to protect their privacy". On a wild hunch, you might want to contact Catholic Charities in Trenton, NJ. and ask if they have any records on a baby with all the details...include your family name, birthdates, etc. If they were involved, they might agree to put a contact number in your file, in case your sister comes looking for you. I also think there is some kind of lookup on ther internet where you can type in a persons name and it will give you their email address if they have one. probably tricky if she has married but might help for other sibs.
I wish you all the luck in the world in finding your family. Never give up!
I'll say a little prayer tonight for you...
I have located 3 of your 4 sibs
I have sent you an email [you also posted on the OH message board] and I have no idea where this name YARDVILLE came from unless that is Tracys married name because I have done the OH birth index search and have found their A-names plus have now found their locations along with their phone numbers......so as soon as I hear from you I will pass them along to you.
I have not located Tracy yet tho....altho I know what her Amended name was I still have to see if she married in OH or not.
I do know that 2 of your sibs were adopted by the same couple....and I also know who Linda married and have their phone number.
Sooooooooo I hope you are ready to meet your family again after all these years.
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