[Makareina]

Hi!! My name is Mara, and we are at the very beginning of the adoption process for our third child. We have two children, both adopted from birth in open adoptions (our son is 5 and our daughter is 4), what incredible experiences!!!! This will be our final adoption, I am really looking forward to getting more into the process. So far we have sent in our application, and now we wait for pre-screening and then approval of that. We are very prepared to let this happen in God's time and in God's way... just the fact that we are adopting again at all is a miracle... my husband really was opposed to adding another child until recently. All in God's time!! So, I am thrilled to find this board to be able to share the process with other Catholic adoptive parents or parents in waiting.

[May4u2nvme]

Thank you. You are also in my prayers. Everyone here is.

[Anigel]

As you may have known from the roll-call, my husband and I are waiting to adopt a waiting child between 4-12.

I personally attended Catholic schools on and off through out k-12. The first I was a wonderful catholic school for 1st grade. This was a K-8, and when I look back on it, this was the best school I attended (I went attended 6 different schools, not because of behavior, but because of family moves).

When finances became available in 7 grade, and the school was there to attend, I returned to catholic school. This was a disaster from the beginning. The school was so tightly cliqued that I never truly fit in. My graduating class was only 38, so these children had made friends in kindergraden, and weren't interested in letting me join their "group". I begged my parents to let me return to public school. The answer was "no". For four years I begged, in this time I slipped from an honor roll student to "an average student".

In the end my parents relented and I was allowed to graduate Public high school, once again with all A's.

My sisters still attend this school. One loves it, the other hates it and doesn't wish to be confirmed. This breaks my heart that she would turn away from God, simply because of a bad school.

It is so important to watch your children, to give them what they need. Some children do well in a small school environment and others need room to breathe to find out who they are, to have friends.

My results of my decision, of where to send the child(ren?) my husband and I adopt will depend on the child. No matter what our choice, I will try to remember what it felt like for me, and change schools if that is what is needed to do what is best for my child and their development into the best catholic they can be.

[jsmet]

My husband and I are both catholic and have two children of our own and are awaiting the birth of our adopted daughter (due July 15). She is a full AA and we can hardly wait for her to arrive. Our church does not have a school and so she will go to the private preschool that both our boys went to (Lutheran). Any advise on the subject. This is all new to us.

[buzzandmary]

We are just beginning the process and hoping to find a 4-5 year old girl to adopt and bring into our family.

Both my H and I are born/raised Catholic, attended Catholic schools -- I did until 12th grade. I was exposed to all the bad stuff, but did well in spite of it all. Jesus was always on my shoulder showing me the way. I realize that now more than I conciously did then.

I have one bio child, 5 1/2 girl, from my previous marriage. My H raised 3 as a single parent - now they are all adults in their 30's.

I believe I was meant to be a mother to more than my one daughter, but my life has been guided to where we are now. The two of us together and solid as a rock. Its a nice place to be, with someone you so completely trust and love.

We want to bring another child into our lives and giving birth to one is not an option for us. If any one knows of good ways to locate a 4-5 year girl to bring into our family... we'd love to hear from you. We've just begun... doing a lot of reading and now have joined this forum.

God Bless you all and thank you for telling us about St. Gerard.

[caradopt]

Hi, we are Catholic and have one adopted son soon to be 3 years old. We have been matched through Catholic Charities with our second child, a little girl to be born November. Your right the support is great. Its amazing once you adopt how many people you have known for some time that disclose that they were adopted or that they are considering adoption. It was hard for me to understand why my husband and I were having to endure this as you see so many people in the world that should not parent and do, and then I looked as us with so much love to give and so much to offer. It was hard until I held my beautiful son. I see so clearly now that this has happened because God intended him to be with us. I know that we will feel the same way again with our little girl.

[buzzandmary]

caradopt,

can you tell me more about how you found Catholic Charities? We live in Yorba Linda CA... wondering how I find them and how difficult it is to get matched. Thank you.

[Sienna3]

Buzz and Mary, I don't know if your local Catholic Charities in your diocese has adoption services, but you are in the Diocese of Orange. The web address of that diocese is www.ccoc.org . Also there is a Catholic Charities of California organization at www.cccalifornia.org where you could get more information. I am sure they could at least direct you to a local resource if they don't have the service itself.

[buzzandmary]

Thank you! I've checked out the websites for the local and the county chapters of Catholic Charities now and have emailed both for contact info. Neither of them have adoption information on their sites!

[caradopt]

Hi, well I think sometimes it is also called Catholic Social Services. I'm sure the diocese operate differently, but I really liked the experience here in Florida. They only select 6-7 couples to go through the program at a time and they put us through a 6 week class with the other couples. They educate us on what to expect. They do not offer another class until all the couples are placed or matched so the level of attention is great. My husband and I are expecting "Grace" to be born on November 21st. I am going to be the coach for the birth and am going through birthing classes with our adoptive Mother. We sure have come a long way from the typical closed adoptions of the past. What a great story we will be able to share with our daughter.

[maureentherese]

You are the Catholic adoptive mother I've been waiting to talk to! I am a single, divorced (for 14 years) mother of two children, both almost out of high school. My homestudy was approved over two years ago, to adopt through the foster care / state system. Unsuccessful so far, disappointed, sad, and unwilling to give up hope, I wonder how did you do it? Did you have parameters or were you willing to accept "any" child? I said, up to twelve years of age, and was initially matched with a girl who sadly, had schizophrenia, bi-polar diagnoses and other issues. I did not feel prepared to give her all that she needed, due to being busy with teenagers. To make a long story short, I am not sure what to tell the system for them to consider placing me again. They do not seem to connect my words, with what they've documented and each time will say, "perhaps you might consider a younger child, or perhaps you might consider fos/adopt" when these are things I have said all along I would do. It's so frustrating and I do feel sad. Suggestions, ideas, prayers? BTW, my two teens have attended private Catholic schools from Preschool through High School and did very well, though they do not have the kinds of issues, of course, that a child who has been in the system would. My belief is that each child is a unique case and there are benefits to both the public and the private school system that must be weighed against the individual needs of the child. Thanks for listening!

[Peggy]

I adopted a child through the state as a single mother. She was 8 when I adopted her. I used a private agency that contracted with the state. She has issues, but not schizoprhenia or bipolar. I put down on my parameters that I did not want to accept a child with schizophrenia, or with a maternal link to schizophrenia. I put down other parameters as well. It took over a year to be matched. But I would call occassionally, attend seminars and training, and occassional adoption parties. There were other children presented to me, but I did not feel they were the right match. I think it helped using the agency, as I had a social worker that was looking for me, and that I could use as a point of contact.

[maureentherese]

I appreciated your reply. I think that is what I should do - thus far three Assessment Team meetings have been scheduled at the Agency's convenience, not mine, and I missed the first two. (Work obligations, etc, as a single mom made it difficult to get to the time they arbitrarily selected for me, sadly) The third time, I arrived promptly, only to find out their facilitator had cancelled on them, so they weren't going to meet (and I lost my vacation time allotted for that meeting). Your idea of setting specifics like "no schizophrenia in child or mother.." is a good one. Right now they are telling me that I am inflexible due to not being able to accept the two proposed children, and missing two meetings. Understand their viewpoint on the latter, but on the former...I was just doing what was right. I have no caseworker as such, at the agency. I don't know if they will give me one! What other suggestions do you have for me?

[Peggy]

How did you get your homestudy and training done? If that is all done then it might create some problems to go to an agency. It varies from state to state. If you can use an agency and keep your current home study and training, by all means try to get hooked up with one. It helps to contact one person, who can than be your liason with the state workers, and other nonprofit agencies. Being called about 3 staffings is pretty good. I think I inquired about 1 possiblity and had 2 offered that I declined before I was matched with my daughter. I am surprised that when you filled out the form there was not a place for you to put down what you could and could not accept, (age, race, gender, degree or types of disablilities, degree of risk ast placement.) That was all on the form. Being single takes a little longer for a match, but it does happen.

[maureentherese]

Actually, I must not have made myself clear. I was offered two girls whom I could not accept, one because her significant and permanent mental illness was more than a single mom of two teens could handle and one because she was so out of birth order, and so problematic for my children. These were not "staffings" I was called for, but a Team Assessment Meeting, utilizing their paid facilitator to assess if I am someone who they feel can BE an adoptive parent. They've placed me on hold pending the assessment. My homestudy was done through the State of Nebraska as is my foster care licensure, they work with two private agencies to form an adoption "triad." I have no assigned caseworker at this point and as of now...my homestudy is expired. Also, I am waiting the renewal licensure of my foster care privileges, sent in all the required paper work: CE's, health assessment, etc, but it has not come. I feel blackballed because I tried to do what was in the best interests for the child. Neither of these children was actually placed in my home. I did say child or group, with mild emotional/mental health issues, but not moderate or severe, mixed race, hispanic, caucasion up to age twelve on my forms. My licensure is for up to four children. They have never offered fos/adopt to me, and that was a question I wanted to raise at the Assessment, as, difficult though that route may be, it is one I am willing to take. What else can I do????? I am sad, and still feel so disappointed. Just waiting for them to reschedule at this point. Can tell you a lot more after I return from my business trip Sunday - THANK you so much for your thoughtful replies.