[veggiegirl]

We are planning to adopt a newborn baby girl - due any day now! I asked our lawyer early on if we could have the baby baptized before finalization. He said legally, yes, but some churches don't like to baptize before finalization. I asked our deacon (also failry early on) this question and he never got back to me. Maybe he was just not wanting me to count my chichens before they hatched??? So, that's question #1 - did any of you baptize your child before finalization occured?

Next situation involved the Godparents. This is where it gets really interesting! We want my sister and her partner (they're gay) to be the Godparents. They've been married for 8 years and go to church every week and are extremely active in their church. However, they are both Catholic, but attend a Lutheran church because they feel accepted there but not in a Catholic church. DH and I do not care whatsoever that they go to a different church. The fundamental values are the same and we feel that what's important is faith, kindness to all, and regular worship - regardless of the denomination (i.e. if we die and they raise our daughter, we have no qualms about her going to a Lutheran church so long as she goes often and is actively involved). Of course, we don't care that they are gay either. Is our church going to ask for PROOF that they are members of a Catholic church? And will it be an issue that the Godparents are 2 women and not one of each gender? I have been so worried about this since we found out about this baby! There really is no one else in the world that we would want to ask to be our daughter's Godparents. No one in either of our families goes to church regularly. Of our friends, a few of the women are Catholic, but either the men aren't or they're not someone we'd consider. Like I said, my sisters (I consider them both my sisters) are our only choice. Any advice??? TIA!

[loveajax]

Veggie, congrats and good luck!!

I did baptize my DD long before her finalization. Oddly, the "form" asked if she was adopted and I said yes, but the priest never seemed to care (nor did they ask for a birth certificate). I have learned that this "varies" parish to parish.

I can't remember what the "rules" for godparents were, but suffice it to say, that my BIL has not set foot in a church in eons and he is DD's godfather. I think they really just "ask" if the person is Catholic (Christian?). I forget...I really hope your sisters are able to be the godparents!

Good luck!

[OnTheJourney]

I have found through this process that every church, priest and diocese have a slightly different rules around baptism.

Our experience: At first we were not able to baptise before finalization. A birth certificate was one of the requirements to produce a baptism certificate as both are legal documents. But with persistance and birthparents that were Catholic, supporting of the baptism and present at the baptism, and agreement that we would not get the certificate until after finalization, we were eventually able to go ahead. By this time ds was 8 months. We finalized at about 10 months and were then able to get the official certificate.
Godparents: (I don't have the papers in front of me so I will try to remember what it says) The doctern that we saw stated that a child may have 1 or 2 Godparents, at least one must be Catholic, with proof, and if there are 2, they must be one male and one female. That being said, I have known people who have had 2 Godmother's and no Godfather's. I just know our Priest does not allow it.
This is only our experience, others have had very different experiences.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey and I hope things go smoothly for you and you are able to follow through with all your wishes.

[Vogi2002]

1. We got Cooper baptized before finalization. We just explained that he was adopted, bparents rights have been TPR'ed, and they didn't ask further. I think this is a different rule for each church.

2. I'm pretty certain it has to be one male & one female. We had to give our church we belong to (when we were godparents) and they checked to see if we were active, again, may be different at each church. At our church they would not support a gay couple being godparents, period, even if they were married (I know a girl who asked this, they were friends of thiers though). If they know one of the Godparents is actively practicing homosexual then they won't allow them to be a Godparent either (is what they told her). They weren't hateful about it, just matter of fact, explaining why.

Good luck!!

[maricela]

We had a very difficult time finding a Catholic Church that would baptize my son after finalization, they required the birth certificate. We took the finalization paperwork but they would not accept it. I finally found a priest that would do it.

We have since become members at a Lutheran Church and we were able to baptize my DD as soon as the TPR papers were signed. Our Pastor would have actually done it sooner but I was afraid to do in any sooner that I was allowed to. We adopted through DCFS & the day TPR was signed she told us it was OK to baptize. She knew how importand it was to us.

Regarding the Godparent, my cousin (female) and I baptized without our spouses. I think on this one, it depends on the church.

Good luck!

[HBV]

And another different story here---we baptized H before finalization (even w/ a legal risk issue) because our priest said we could. We found out later that the official rule was not to do it until after finalization.

Godparent thing can vary too. I am godparent to 2 children. Both times I had to bring a letter of good standing, indicating that I was a practicing Catholic, from my priest to the parish where the children were baptized. Our godparents had to do the same when H was born.

So it looks like the answer is: you will have to ask your priest.

[jackiesbooks]

My church would not allow my son even attend religious class until the finalization. So baptism happen after.

My son has two godfathers and 1 godmother. The two fathers are my grown sons. My oldest son does not attend church. The last baptism that I saw at our church had 2 godfathers and 2 godmothers. There was no paper work that I had to fill out. They just ask me what religion the 3 were. And had the Catholics been confirmed. My son's godmother is a Lutheran.

[loveajax]

Jackie, I'm sorry, but that really annoys me (about your son not being able to attend religious ed classes). What was the rationale?

[lovemy2boys]

We didn't have to wait until after finalization, but we DID have to wait until after our first placement hearing.

As for Godparents, ours are all Catholic, but only 2 of the 4 are practicing - our parish only asked religion - nothing else.

Congratulations, by the way!

[6boysrus]

" Is our church going to ask for PROOF that they are members of a Catholic church?"

Yes, all parishes will have you give a form to the Godparents to take to their Parish Priest and have it signed saying they are registered Roman Catholics in that specific parish and have rec'd the sacaments.


Code of Canon Law States:

SPONSORS

Can. 872 Insofar as possible, a person to be baptized is to be given a sponsor who assists an adult in Christian initiation or together with the parents presents an infant for baptism. A sponsor also helps the baptized person to lead a Christian life in keeping with baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it.

Can. 873 There is to be only one male sponsor or one female sponsor or one of each.

Can. 874 §1. To be permitted to take on the function of sponsor a person must:

1/ be designated by the one to be baptized, by the parents or the person who takes their place, or in their absence by the pastor or minister and have the aptitude and intention of fulfilling this function;

2/ have completed the sixteenth year of age, unless the diocesan bishop has established another age, or the pastor or minister has granted an exception for a just cause;

3/ be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has already received the most holy sacrament of the Eucharist and who leads a life of faith in keeping with the function to be taken on;

4/ not be bound by any canonical penalty legitimately imposed or declared;

5/ not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized.

§2. A baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community is not to participate except together with a Catholic sponsor and then only as a witness of the baptism.
Code of Canon Law - IntraText


Each Diocese also has a set of requirements- most of them parents must attend a course on Baptism. Check with your Pastor at the parish you are registered at.

I was baptized before my adoption was final and that was back in 1967. My parents signed forms after the adoption was final as to who the Godparents are.

[lovemy2boys]

Originally Posted by 6boysrus

" Yes, all parishes will have you give a form to the Godparents to take to their Parish Priest and have it signed saying they are registered Roman Catholics in that specific parish and have rec'd the sacaments.

Wow - my friend just had her baby baptized 2 weeks ago and I was the Godmother - they asked for absolutely NOTHING!!! Looks like someone dropped the ball...lol.

[iss36]

When we adopted our son 6 years ago we had to have his adoption finiallized first.
We hvae 2 god fathers and no god mothers..

my 13 month old daughter we are stil needing to get her baptized.we have the god parents picked out. we are trying to find a parish to call home.

[teendoc]

This is such a timely post since Zara's baptism is planned for February 17th. We decided to wait for finalization but I don't think that the Church had any restrictions.

The funny part was that since I converted to Catholicism in college, I was confused about the rules for Godparents (Catholic, married in the church, in good standing). I asked my one friend who is a Catholic in good standing to be Zara's Godmother. I then asked my other dear non-Catholic friend to be a Christian Witness. Unfortunately I was told that this wouldn't fly. They had to be different genders!

I finally called the Monsignor and let him know that I couldn't unask my friend (the Christian Witness) to be part of the baptism. He relented and said that she could come up during the ceremony but she wouldn't be part of the official record.

We have our pre-Jordan class next Tuesday. I've also planned a post-baptism reception at a nearby restaurant. We are up to 45 people!

I've got the dress, the shoes, and the bonnet. I just hope my vocal little girl doesn't decide that she needs to sing throughout the service!

[HBV]

I think the priests have a fair amount of discretion in the way the ceremony's actually handled. Our Msgr. incorporated H's bmom (who is Lutheran) into the ceremony, making it into a kind of entrustment/baptism---but he did ask H's godparents to submit the letters of good standing from their parish.

[joskids]

We always baptized before finalization and would not attend a Catholic church that would refuse to baptize a child because the adoption was not finalized. I feel very strongly that my children be baptized as soon as possible. As far as 2 gay women being godparents, I can't imagine that should be an issue. They are Catholic, their sexual orientation certainly should not be of interest to anyone. Two of our children were baptized with two godmothers and no one had an issue with it. Best wishes. I would push to get this done when YOU want it done and if your parish won't do it, find another.