[kayb]

Anyone here do foster care and have your fc baptized w/ birthmom's consent?

How bout' baptizism before the adoption was finalized?

anyone...anyone

[lovemy2boys]

Ours wasn't foster care, but adoption. Our children were able to be baptized BEFORE finalization, but AFTER the placement hearing.

Honestly, our church never really questioned us too far on it - we just brought the placement paperwork from the courts.

I think if you have the child's parent's consent, it shouldn't be an issue...

Good luck!

[jackiesbooks]

I am a foster Mom - I can't even get them into religious class!

[One_Happy_Momma]

If you have the parents' consent, it should be fine. Make sure that is in writting, and thru the SW.

My church would've allowed me to baptize my girls before finalization, but with the adoption placement paperwork. Since we believe in only one baptism, the church wants to make sure that this child will remain with you and that he/she will get only one, and be raised in the Catholic faith.

I did enroll a previous fc in religious ed. Has to be walked into court, and have the judge decide if the parents object. Sometimes the parents are Catholic, but they still object, because it gives them power.

[CatholicMom42]

I guess in some ways we were more fortunate than some. No one prevented us from taking the kids to church or religious ed. But we had to wait three years (until parental rights were terminated) before we could have them baptized. It was a LONG three years ... every week I'd take them up for a blessing from the priest, but it wasn't the same!

[WorkerMommy]

I've adopted an older child, age 8 when placed through my foster care license with the intent of adoption. I had her join the church through RCIA and her First Communion. She was baptized in the Episcopal church as an infant. I'm glad I did, don't get me wrong, however, her church records which she'll have to access for all future sacraments, are originally under her birth name. The Church does not maintain confidentiality of birth names like the legal system.

With baptism, you have to list the parents as the birth parent or if rights are terminated but adoption not yet done, as the agency or state and the child's legal name must be registered as again their birth name.

All the literature I have found indicates waiting until after the adoption is done. Rest in the knowledge that the Lord knows you intend to baptize the child if you adopt. The Lord uses that as a veil of protection until you are able to move forward.

My youngest was placed with me at 10 months of age. She is now 4 years and 8 months of age. We are desperately praying that the subsidy paperwork will be completed in time to finish the adoption hearing so that we can baptize her on 5-11 (mother's day, pentecost and my 30th anniversary of my confirmation) when family will be in town from 3 different states. If the adoption is not done on time (insert my prayers) the baptism will have to wait. I've scheduled the baptism with the priest/parish understanding that we might have to reschedule. In the meantime I am asking the masses to storm the gates and approach the throne with my request to get the adoption done in time so I can have my daughter baptized with her godparents in attendance and not have to wait another couple months to get them all back in state.

After going through the journey twice, I believe it is a journey of trust development. Through all the ups and downs and crazy system issues (and by the way I work for the system), God calls on us to totally depend and trust Him with ourselves, our families and the children.

WorkerMommy
CPS worker 07 to present
licensing worker for about 10 yrs
foster care worker for about 6-7 years
foster parent for 7 years
adoptive parent for almost 4 years
soon to be adoptive parent again!

[kayb]

thank you for all the great words or encouragement!

I think we could've done the baptism, but b/m would've insisted on choosing the Godparents.

But, of course, everything worked out by waiting!

We actually take our class this sunday after mass and will finalize in September. Then we'll christen our son

workermommy - Did you get to christen you daughter on mothers day?

Thanks again!

[WorkerMommy]

Originally Posted by kayb

thank you for all the great words or encouragement!

I think we could've done the baptism, but b/m would've insisted on choosing the Godparents.

But, of course, everything worked out by waiting!

We actually take our class this sunday after mass and will finalize in September. Then we'll christen our son

workermommy - Did you get to christen you daughter on mothers day?

Thanks again!

Kayb -
You mean baptize, right?

Yes, it was a tense last couple weeks, but with some help from a friend higher up in the agency (one of God's earthly servants!) we got the subsidy paperwork done so the adoption was finalized on 5-8-08 and the baptism was on 5-11-08- Mother's Day! It was a great celebration. She wore my old first communion dress which had been my mother's wedding dress in a former lifetime. I am glad to wait so that her baptismal name for all time is her legal name - Alicia Kateri.

I've read more and more about us being adopted children of God via baptism so it seems only fitting to do it at the same time! God's blessings as you continue to journey! Storm those Gates with prayer!!

[kayb]

When I grew up everyone called it christening, some called it baptism.

not sure if that's a ukrainian vs. roman catholic thing or what?

anyone know? Wednesday trivia...lol

[FullQuiverMamma]

Our church only practices believer's baptism, so it probably wouldn't be an issue. By the time someone believes their faith belongs to them, so what kind of say would you give the birth parent morally???

[kayb]

What do you mean "say"? Do you mean in the choice of Godparents?

b/m is also catholic (attending as well), so she has the same beliefs as us (okay, maybe not ALL the same)

[anilorak13ska]

I'd just like to chime in her regarding baptism. I was baptised in the same "becik" (Polish for baptismal pillow, if you will) as my mother and her sister and their mother, which was sewn by my great-grandmother. It was my great hope to have my children baptised in it as well, but for this to happen, the child needs to be no more than 3 months (to fit).

So I called our local parish, where the priest wouldn't hear of it until after finalization, and then I called our Polish Parish priest, who said sure, as long as you have paperwork showing legal permanent status with us.

Lo and behold, the Lord may have different plans for us in spite of all this planning - we have recently started looking into adopting a preschooler from foster care! So I am no longer worried about getting him or her baptized asap!

I have decided to include the family heirloom "becik" in some other special way anyway, even though we won't be cramming a 4 year old onto a pillowcase! lol

God works in mysterious ways...

[Nancy08]

No need to run this issue...

The most important part is the child should be baptized.
Baptism is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church



____________________
inspirational quotes || motivational quotes

[anilorak13ska]

Nancy08 - I think the point being questioned here is if a child over whom you do not yet have full legal custody can be baptized against the wishes (or w/o the consent) of those that DO have legal rights.

Having said that, one baptism or two, my mother utilized the belief that any baptized believer can baptize in an emergency, and she baptized me herself when I was born. I was also baptized officially a few weeks later in church.

After all, is the baptism for the benefit of the child's soul or the church's paperwork?

[Mommy K]

Yes anyone fully initiated into the catholic faith can baptize informally. We had a discussion about this with our priest when we were waiting for our dd, and she was not yet baptized.

In the old days, when a child or baby was sick or for some reason could not get to church, parents would baptize at home using water. Have a conversation with your priest about this. Then when your child is fully adopted, you can have a formal baptism, even though baptism happens only once, this initiates the baby or child in the meantime.

Another thing that used to happen (I don't know if it still does) is when a child was in a catholic orphanage, they would be baptized before adoption, and when adopted the parents would have a special blessing ceremony at thier church naming the godparents etc.
Hope this helps!
Kathy