Family Forums
Parenting Forums
Pregnancy Forums
Unplanned Pregnancy
Adoption Forums
Fertility Forums






Adoption Forums®

Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums. Register
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories
User Name
Password

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-22-2004, 10:14 PM
lacey_31's Avatar
lacey_31 lacey_31 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 20
Total Points: 5,242.00
Donate
Angry how can dfs lie and get away with it?

I placed my twins up for adoption when thay was 1yr and 1/2
threw the jackson county dfs thay told me when thay turend 18 thay I could request to see them well there b-day was sept 19 1986. and thay just had a b-day now there telling me well I dont know why thay would of told you that! I have there names jeremy joseph dolezal & john michael dolezal and thay last lived in INDP Mo.case worker was cynthia rodegers and Jackie turner.

This is very upsetting to a bith mother that has waited all these years to find out u cant pull up recordes or request to see them .

? (1). am I allowed to search for them now with out getting trouble.
?(2). Who can I go threw to contact adopted parents ?
?(3) how can thay just change laws or lie to me?
Reply With Quote
Looking to Adopt?
Washington
Click here to visit WACAP
Since 1976, WACAP has placed over 10,000 children into loving adoptive homes and provided humanitarian aid to more than 200,000 children worldwide.
WACAP
(800) 732-1887   Fax (206) 575-4148

  #2  
Old 09-23-2004, 08:11 AM
rads1966's Avatar
rads1966 rads1966 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 18
Total Points: 649.00
Donate
dfs lies

I know how u feel,, i placed my daughter with dfs in texas and they told me i would be able to have pics and when she was 13 i would be able to meet her,, once the papers were signed ,, everything changed and i wasnst allowed pics,, but if your twins are 18 now , u can search with no problems,, you may want to check the laws in your state,, some states the legal age is 21
__________________
sandra
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 11-08-2004, 11:32 PM
forfamilies2003 forfamilies2003 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6
Total Points: 781.00
Donate
No accountability for caseworkers

Caseworkers can lie and get away with it because there is NO ACCOUNTABILITY! We need to write to our legislators and governors to demand accountability for these workers! We need to have a nationwide accountablity walk at our state capitals.
These people steal kids and destroy lives. If someone steals a car they get arrested, Social workers steal kids and adopt them out of their families and they are rewarded with big bonuses from our Federal Government for their counties..
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-09-2004, 07:54 AM
L-A-J-C-R-C's Avatar
L-A-J-C-R-C L-A-J-C-R-C is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,270
Total Points: 6,888.00
Donate
forfamilies,

I really resent your comment! I am about to adopt my 2 foster chldren and they WERE NOT stolen from their family. I have had these children for 2 years now and have done EVERYTHING to put them in front of their family so SOMEONE would be interested enough to work to get them back. Instead, they chose their boyfriends, alcohol, everything/anything INSTEAD of these two children.

Over the past 2 years I have sent cards and pictures to their mom and their grandparents. We had grandparent visits in the beginning and THEY chose to not continue. I send Christmas presents too! Their mom stood up at theTPR hearing and stated that she WILL NOT leave her boyfriend, knowing full well that if she said that her rights would be terminated!

My point to all of this is, PLEASE DON'T GENERALIZE!!! Do I agree that SOME workers lie, I'm sure they do! I have not personally had that experience but have heard enough to agree that it probably does happen. Do I think the foster care system needs a drastic overhaul? ABSOLUTELY.

I think it's terrible that the other 2 posters had the experiences they have had! However, I do not and cannot believe that this is the NORM. Might I be mistaken in this belief, ABSOLUTELY. All I can speak of is my experience and that has been the total opposite of the comments you made.

BTW: our workers do NOT get bonus or raises for adopting children.

Michelle
__________________
There are no unwanted children; just unfound families!

Biological Mom to 2 wonderful sons
Adoptive Mom to 2 awesome little ones
Foster Mom to 2 wonderful kids
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-09-2004, 08:26 AM
leaabc123's Avatar
leaabc123 leaabc123 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,561
Total Points: 16,893.00
Donate
Very well said Lajcrc:

I have watched, both professionally and now as a foster parent, people get their kids/or relative's kids back when they were clearly unfit but the system bends over backwards to place kids with family members.
Our current f-son was left at the court house 4 months ago, by a relative. They skipped visits frequently and have now decided they want him back and will most likely succeed. If the system was really looking out for this little boy, he would not be returning.
Now, if they had visited regularly and taken a sincere interest. I would be more than happy to see him returning. And yes, I would be sad at the same time.
If adoption was that easy, we would have a house dull of kids right now, instead of seeing kids constantly returning to family members only to re-enter the system, after more months or years of abuse and neglect.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-09-2004, 03:58 PM
pugsooie's Avatar
pugsooie pugsooie is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 165
Total Points: 11,141.74
Donate
I am with you lajcrc and leaabc123...

I am a foster parent as well and as I see it if these parent's wanted their children they would have them.
I have never seen a caseworker STEAL a child and the child go into foster care and then go up for adoption.
These children went up for adoption because that is what their parents wanted or needed at that time.

If they wanted their children they would get their act together. I know if my child was taken I would pull out all the stops.

Sure, there are parents out there that do try, but trust me, if they tried hard enough the caseworkers would make sure that they did everything they could to help them get their children back.
I have a foster child now who's parents are mentally retarted and they have made little and almost no progress to get their son back and here it is a year later and the caseworker is still trying to help them go home. When the child goes up for adoption are those parents going to say that the caseworker STOLE their child and lied to them?

I am sorry to the other two members who put their children up for adoption. All I can tell you is to keep trying to contact your children and make a mense and get them into your life! There are many websites, including this one, where you can post a search for your biological children. If you know their last known residency I would start there.

From what we were told they always keep the files at the DHS office just for that reason. If you talked to one person that wouldn't help you I'm sure there is another one in that building that will. Try the adoption specialist. You never know your children miight be looking for you, too.
__________________
"Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children" ~ The Crow

BB&R
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filed Foster Paperwork to reopen home ~ 1/11 ... awaiting results
Artificial Insemination. Tried Twice 3/09 & 4/09 ... Failed
Adopted RBR (27 months) ~ 12/21/2006!!!
TPR ~ 5/2006
R placed in our home (7 days old) ~ 9/2004
Foster/ Adopt Home ~ 1/2004 - 12/2006
IVF ~ 7/2003 ... Failed
Tried for a baby ~ 00 - 03 ... No Luck
Married 4/1999
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-11-2004, 08:22 AM
lacey_31's Avatar
lacey_31 lacey_31 is offline
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 20
Total Points: 5,242.00
Donate
Lightbulb lets not try to be hasty

Hi all
I dont thank I clearafied my storie all that well.
I was very young yes , 13 and the father was 27 with no help from family members I have three children from this man I had my firsy son by him that is now 19 he is gradutaing with a gpa of 3.85. but I also had twins exactly 1 yr and 1 week apart so I was 15 when I had my twins The father left me needless to say he should of thrown in prison. I had no one to help me Iam not saying there is an excuse but my children was tooken away becouse I had no lights and the twins was sleeping in the same bed at 15 I had no job and dident really know what I was doing .
So I had to go threw a lot like parent as teachers clean my house extra Thay gave me back my older son but not my twins.I did every thang thay wanted me to. I did every thang !!!! after a yr and only visit on the week end these baby dident even call me mom no more and was going to foster home to foster home for this whole yr I am sorry but any good mother would see clearly that thay were not attending on giveing me these baby back and I would cry at night wondering what I should do . so was I really a bad mother for putting them up for adoption or should I have let them keep going threw the sytem ?? I give my up most respect for foster parents I work with my kides foster parent. I was told that I could not go threw a privet adoption agency and that when thay turned 18 that we could re unite if thay so choose to. Well I found after th adoption I could have went threw a agency .And sence I started my search I was told oh no not untill there 21 It was very dishearting to me .
I under stand that there are parents out there that dont give a crap and every body sercomstanes are diffrent . I was very upset when I wrote the thread Iam still upset with the case workers. but god will do what he thanks is best maybe hopefully he will let me see them.
Tammy
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-23-2006, 11:45 PM
stalkerfromafar stalkerfromafar is offline
stalkerfromafar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4
Total Points: 296.00
Donate
Lacey 31.. Let me be the first to tell you..... You are completely wrong in your comment stated!! Nothing could be further from the truth, in regards to what my child and I are going through at this time.!! I have found out (solely through demanding a file of discovery) That the case worker lied, in order to be granted Judges request in taking away my little girl!! They can, And DO lie about anything, and everything they can get away with !!
Reply With Quote

  #9  
Old 06-23-2006, 11:48 PM
stalkerfromafar stalkerfromafar is offline
stalkerfromafar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4
Total Points: 296.00
Donate
OOOOOOOPS~ !! Sorry Lacey 31.... It is pugsooie's comments I was referring to. Again,.Sorry!
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-07-2007, 07:20 PM
Longtimewaiting Longtimewaiting is offline
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 126
Total Points: 4,022.06
Donate
It looks like we are talking about 2 different subjects here.....but I have to agree that I dont trust the system too much. I believe that I was pressured into my daughter being adopted in 1975, by my parents and mostly by the social worker. How come NO ONE told me that there was help for me?? The social worker told me that if I didnt sign the papers that I would be financially responsible for all the expenses that have occurred to date, including medical. I didnt know about medicaid, I lived in a bubble under my parents roof. If I had known about medicaid I would have chosen that avenue and kept my daughter. So yes, they dont always tell the truth to get what they want. And they wanted my baby.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:52 PM.