[albertan]

For those that have adopted, I am interested in hearing about the day you got the call:

• Where were you?
• What time of the day was it?
• Were you aware that you may be matched or was it a total suprise?
• Was it an instant placement?

I would love to hear your stories...

[Leigh131313]

I will assume this is the call about the pbmom wanting to meet us.

I was in hair school

Doing my final exam

Just put down my comb (practical)

cell phone rings.

Yeah, my instructor thought someone died.

It was a surprise, we had not updated in a few years and thought our file would no longer be shown. The night before we were telling our social worker that we still did not want to update and were not interested in anything adoption at the moment. During that call our other line beeped, it was another social worker and we were to return her call in the morning. My husband called her in the am, and then called me with the news.


Leigh

[albertan]

I will assume this is the call about the pbmom wanting to meet us.

It sure is. I realized I missed that in the post but I am now having trouble editing it so thanks for picking up on that.

Wow! Doing your exam! I bet you were happy that it was after the exam and not during because you would have probably not been able to focus any longer.

How long had you been waiting Leigh and how much time was there between getting the call that you were chosen and the baby being born?

Sorry lots of questions but I love to hear these stories...

[Leigh131313]

We went through 1 year of craziness. 2 matches that fell through (one of those was a 5 month match..total hell), lots of weird calls about potential matches (weird situations) and lots of problems with the agency. We updated our profile once, but never did again. We had some contact with the agency...they called a few times (when february rolled around...our date for updates) and once to suggest we go to an adoption thing to meet older children waiting (uhh...we specifically requested newborn...i hated this guilt tactic) anyhoo...all in all it was 3 1/2 years before ds came home...but we were not exactly involved after one year...we had assumed that we were no longer being shown, because we went "inactive" after not updating.

When we got the call, i was just finishing (literally) school. I was to be finished that thursday morning and go to Calgary Friday to do some shopping for my new job i was to start on Monday. It was very hard to explain to my new employer what was going on...There is no card to say, Sorry I might be having a baby in a month, but I might not, so can I still work for you? I couldnt believe how understanding she was..she told me no matter what, i would still have the job if i wanted it.

Well, we ended up meeting the pbmom on that friday instead because it was the only day she and her mom could meet with us. Luckily dh had it booked off of work for the shopping trip. My birthday was the next day...they came up to see us the next weekend, and the weekend after that he was born (on dh's birthday)

So, we had three weeks (he came 1 week early)

Does that answer them? lol

Leigh

[blessedbybug]

This is from Bug's lifebook about that amazing day... we had no idea that our profile was out at that time. It was the 15th time we were shown and we had decided not to know each time it happened. She picked us on the Tuesday before, at the same time I was having a major meltdown thinking that we were NEVER going to become parents...

I was not an instant placement but things did happen very quickly. We got the call on Friday, met K on Tuesday and Bug surprised us by coming almost exactly 48hours later (it was supposed to be three more weeks). Bug was home with us a week to the hour from this phone call.

FRIDAY, February 27, 2004
The Call To Get Excited About…

You can be sitting on the couch, eating a snack, ready to watch yesterday’s tape of Oprah…and you get a phone call, one that might change your life forever. That is what happened to me, a few minutes to 3:00 on this amazing Friday. After a rollercoaster week filled with difficult discussions with a Social Worker from Alberta Children’s Services, long hard thinking (again!) about remaining a family of two (followed by me packing away all the baby clothes because I had lost my hope), and a wonderful day together in Red Deer watching championship curling (thanks to a Christmas gift from dear friends) a short sleep, another meeting with the Social worker just ending at two o’clock (and an approved homestudy I might add!!! Yay for us!!!) , well, we were tired, worn, ready to rest. Hubby went to the church for a while. I had the house to myself. Aahhh…bliss!

The phone rings… it’s our private agency. After almost 14 months of waiting and dozens of phone calls, I no longer got excited. Every time it was “not the call to get excited about”.

On the other end was M, a birthparent counselor and our Social Worker, B. I heard, “Tammy, this is M. Are you sitting down?” I started shaking… “Is this the call to get excited about?” “Yes!” was all I heard. Oh wow, I had to sit down... take a deep breath... Breathe Tammy Breathe. From then on, I was spellbound by all that M and B said. They were talking about the young woman who is considering us as adoptive parents to her child. An amazing moment for sure…

The social workers went on to talk about K, her home life, her family life, her job, her decision to pick us, how she liked us because we weren't trying to be perfect, that we had "stuff" in our lives she could relate to! She liked my smile... she liked that we were older and had experience in life. She liked we lived in the country and that we went to church, even though that wasn't a priority in her life.

“Would you like to meet?” said M. “Of course!” I said, without even thinking about consulting Hubby. My heart was pounding with excitement. We made plans to meet K on Tuesday. I was thrilled beyond belief, couldn’t believe this is happening, couldn’t wait to tell Hubby. I felt scared, but so hopeful and blessed to have the chance to meet this young woman. God answered our prayer… we would only be able to see later how He was in and through this…miracle.

Oh, and I did ask Hubby about all this, I promise!! He came home and we talked excitedly, decided to move forward with the meeting. We would meet K.

Our feelings were so mixed of course…in an email to a friend I wrote: “But even with the celebration, because of our infertility, we are keenly aware, although we'll never understand completely, of the grief of a mother who has to give up the dream of a child. That makes our hearts ache already for K, as she makes this most courageous and loving decision for her child. We know that the moment of her baby's birth (who we hope with all our heart will be our baby too!) will be bittersweet for sure as we all deal with the sadness I am sure she will feel when separating from her child.” With hope in our hearts, sadly knowing full well K's heart would be breaking, we moved forward…

That's it... still very vivid in my mind as was our first meeting with K, the experience in the hospital and bringing Bug home...


I hope it gives you hope Roxanne... and I hope your time comes VERY soon. BTW, I PM'd you with a question...

[blessedbybug]

Wow Leigh! That is an amazing story...timing seemed to be perfect in many ways for you, esp since you didn't even think you were being shown. Amazing...

Sorry you had so many problems with the agency. We have had none of that in our experience. Hope this next go round for you is much, much easier.

[michellesnook]

I'd like to jump in here too..

Our story is SOO completely different. We had only STARTED our homestudy the Saturday. Monday afternoon an internet friend called me with a message telling me to call her back. I thought it was strange, since we were just online friends. So, I called her back and she told me that her online friend had a sister who was pregnant, and considering placing the baby and wanted to know more about us!.. I said, "sure, tell her whatever you want!" I got off the phone, and called my SW back in a panic. The bmom lived in Utah, we are in Ontario, was it possible, could it be true? She told me to call a Laywer who did International adoptions and talk to her. So, I did. We talked for a bit...she said it totally could be done, but to watch out for scammers and frauds etc. So to protect us, our lawyer called first and talked to bmom, bdad, and bmom's sisters. Then she called me back and said "There is a young lady in Utah who wants to talk to you" I was terrified! Seriously afraid to pick up the phone and call her! I cried for a few minutes and then dh picked up the phone and we called Utah! Honestly, that night we talked to her for nearly 3 hours!

After that, we talked on the phone every night, every other night for the next 5 months (bmom was only 9 weeks when she decided to look for aparents) When she was 20 weeks, we decided to go to Utah to meet her and go to the "gender ultrasound" I figured if she was going hate us for whatever reason, I'd rather find out before the baby was born and everything. So, we flew to Utah, met her in a school parkinglot with bdad and hit it off instantly!! We spent a week with them (we stayed at a hotel, but we spent A LOT of time with them)

Then in Jan, we flew back to Utah to wait for the birth of our son...we were there 2 weeks before the birth (you never know when a baby will come!) and we had to stay two weeks after doing paper work..but it was worth every second!!

Michelle

[albertan]

Leigh,

You made me chuckle when you spoke about there being no card saying that you "may' be having a baby in a month . I am happy that your boss was easy to get along with and had no issues.

Yes that does answer all my questions

[albertan]

Tammy!!


Your story gave me the goosebumps!! It was almost like I was there with you and also made me remember the birth of 'our' first son who is now with his mom.

Did your hubby ake you serious when you told him or did he think you were joking for awhile?

Thank you so much for sharing! I enjoyed it.

Oh...the Pm thingy....I read it and have no idea how and cannot seem to 'get back' there again so bare with me as I find my way there...

[albertan]

Wow Michelle! What an incrediable story in that it worked out for you as well! You never know what is a scam and what isn't so I can imagine how excited yet nervous you were!

9 weeks! So you can say you just about waited the whole pregnancy. What a great time to get to know one another. Did you find that the time was long or did it fly by before you knew it?

[michellesnook]

Originally Posted by albertan

9 weeks! So you can say you just about waited the whole pregnancy. What a great time to get to know one another. Did you find that the time was long or did it fly by before you knew it?

It really flew by. It wasn't until about 35-36 weeks that it started to drag! (Plus it was Christmas at that time..) It was such a great journey..I''m so grateful that she allowed us to share her pregnancy with her..

Michelle