[Adoptionguy]

Hi,

I've been checking out the forum for a while, but have only just become a member. Basically I'm a single guy and always wanted to become a father before I become 30, so I've considered adoption and Cambodia is a deffinate option for me because I have spent alot of time in Asia a few ago and fell in love with the place. I do know that there is a suspension on adoptions, which will hopefully be removed in the next few months. The only other problem I have is that I hear that Cambodia will be only accepting married couples and will no longer be accepting single men and women. Is this confirmed or will we have to wait until adoptions resume?
The only thing I fear is that if this is true, the same will happen with Vietnam when they resume adoptions.

[sak9645]

The U.S. suspended adoptions from Cambodia in 2001, because of evidence of widespread corruption. In early 2009, the U.S. State Department issued a document saying that it would continue to refuse to approve visas for children from Cambodia, because that country was not meeting its obligations under the Hague Convention, to protect children, their birthparents, and adoptive families.

In late 2009, Cambodia passed a new adoption law, designed to make it more Hague-compliant, and closed adoptions to people from ALL countries, at least until March, 2011, by which time it hoped to have new regulations and procedures, consistent with the adoption law, put in place. The U.S. acknowledged the law and expressed the hope that Cambodia would continue to work towards a system that would conform to U.S. and Hague principles.

To the best of my knowledge, there have been no further official statements by the U.S. government, suggesting that new activities in Cambodia are likely to be acceptable to the U.S. Even if Cambodia puts in place the regulations and procedures needed to implement its new law, and reopens to other countries, the U.S. could very well continue to refuse to process adoption visas, on the grounds that the changes are insufficient.

Remember that, in the case of Vietnam, which also closed back in 2001, the U.S. agreed to participate in a reopening back in 2006, but then had to suspend adoptions again in 2008, saying that Vietnam's new system wasn't working well enough and that the same problems that occurred in 2001 were still present. The U.S. State Department almost certainly does not want a repeat of this situation, with an unsuccessful reopening, a subsequent closure, and children and prospective parents stuck in various parts of the process. So my guess is that the U.S. is not going to rush into anything. Reopening to Americans could well take many months after Cambodia opens to other countries.

My advice to you is that you should continue to follow the State Department website, at travel.state.gov, looking for official statements about what is happening in Cambodia, in terms of time frames. Do NOT send money to any agency or try to begin an adoption until you are absolutely sure that the U.S. will allow you to bring the child home.

As far as single adoptive parents, I have not read Cambodia's new law and do not have an answer for you. However, I must say that prospects for single men, in particular, are very dim, when it comes to international adoption, these days. Single male prospective parents have always been viewed with suspicion overseas, and now that international adoption is so acceptable to married couples and single women, many countries feel even less need to allow them to adopt.

You and I both know that single men can be excellent parents, and that in the U.S., there are quite a few single Dads -- both straight and gay -- parenting by choice or necessity. Unfortunately, many of the countries from which Americans adopt have the following prejudices:

1. A belief that single heterosexual men wouldn't want to parent, so that any male applicants are likely to be gay. The countries where Americans adopt are often countries where homosexuality is viewed very negatively -- for example, as a psychiatric disorder or as an immoral or antisocial lifestyle.

2. A belief that single men are more likely than others to abuse children, themselves, and/or to involve them in child trafficking for illegal and immoral purposes, such as prostitution or slavery. Remember that many of the countries from which Americans adopt, and especially Asian countries, have had long, sad experience with the sex trade.

As a result, I usually suggest that single men explore adopting in the U.S., before looking overseas. While there is bias against single male adoptive parents even in the U.S., at least some adoption agencies, government departments, and social workers will approve homestudies for, and place with, single men.

I know that I sound quite negative about your chances. I hope that I am wrong, and urge you to continue to follow your heart and try to adopt from an Asian country. Still, I do believe that you may need a backup plan. Private adoption, where you identify a U.S. birthmother on your own and use a social worker and a lawyer to handle the legalities, or adoption from the domestic foster care system, may be your best hope.

Sharon

[Adoptionguy]

Thank you Sharon. I completely understand the challenges ahead for me. I'm somebody who never backs down and determined this will be a success. Hopefully in years to come, I'll be one of the success stories.

Thomas.