[StressinSanMateo]

Ok I have the Nolo book, I filed Adopt 200...now what? I can prove willful failure (no visit and no support for 1 year) I just don't understand the process. Do I have to wait for the report and then I have to notify bio of the hearing or am I supposed to try and get consent.
I would really rather not have any contact with bio that is what the restraining order is for. I am kinda freaked out that if I try to contact him to get permission he will suddenly be in attack mode again, not to mention he would probably think it was fun to say no just to argue.
I really want to do this without a lawyer, I called a couple and wow $2500 minimum.
Anyone in San Mateo (or anyone else who knows what's next) that could help me out would be great.

[crystaly]

Now you call the probation department or social services, whoever handles the adoptions in your county and set up your orientation interview. That is when the stepparent will go get fingerprinted and everything. Then they will send out a form to the bio parent asking for his consent.

[StressinSanMateo]

Thanks crystaly I just needed some reassurance I am on the right path. The woman at juvenile court said she was forwarding the forms to whoever needs them but I have no idea how long it takes and the last 3 times I called the office she's gone or out to lunch and no one offers to take a message it's really weird what horrible timing I have (which in turn stresses me out more).
I am glad that they will be asking for his consent and not me.
Do you know how hard they will try to find him? I know where he is right now (Branson, MO) but don't know where he is staying... will that matter?

[crystaly]

You are on the right path. But I don't think its juvenile court that you call regarding the adoption, it would be whoever they forwarded the paperwork to. So find out who they forwarded the paperwork to and that is who you call. I'll do some searching and see who it is you should contact in your county. I know in my county I had to do the leg work myself in locating the father. They will send the consent form to the last known address you give them. You will need to do a search for him. There are places you can hire to do a search and they will see if they can locate him. Or there are internet searches you can pay and it can help locate him. Anyways, you have to show some effort in locating him and if you can't then you will petition the court to place an ad in the paper notifying him of the adoption and it will run..I think 4 consequative weeks. It might be less. Then you will go to court..with or without the bio father there and if he does not show up you get the adoption.

[myfaith7]

Crystaly,

The paralegal gave me the paperwork to send to the courts to terminate parental rights. I thought I would have to run an ad in the paper first, however the adoption worker stated on the last I-30 form that we should take action under section code 7662, which is termination of parental rights. He also said his report should be at the court by the time I file the paperwork requesting termination.

I pray we are almost through this journey, especially with him starting to call.

[crystaly]

Correct. You will request termination of his parental rights but they can't just terminate his rights without him being notified in some way. So you will file the request to terminate his right and then appear in front of a judge and at that time if the father has not been notified, I believe that is when the judge will give you an order placeing the ad in the paper. You have to have an order from a judge before you can place the ad in the paper. Remember to take whatever proof you have that all efforts have been made to notify the father so that the judge will not have a problem giving you an order for an ad in the paper.

And STRESSINSANMATEO I have a phone number and address for you to call and see if you can get more info on who you are supposed to talk to. This is the Family court services for your county. Call them and ask them who does the home visits on stepparent adoptions. Make sure you say stepparent cause all adoptions are different.
400 County Center, 6th Floor, Redwood City 94063
650-363-4561

[myfaith7]

I thought we were home free. But never the less this is still a big step forward towards our goal.

When we appear in front of the judge, what kind of questions have you heard of them asking?

Thanks Crystaly!

[crystaly]

I really do not know. Be sure to take any documentation you have showing your searches and then you won't have to answer many questions. I believe you should ask AJBs mom. I think she had to place an ad. Go through her posts and it should give you more information on what and how everything will take place. Actually I think its much easier on you if you end up placing an ad. What do you think the likelyhood of him reading that part of the ad section will be. Most likely none so you can consider yourself home free once that ad is placed.

[StressinSanMateo]

I finally got a hold of her...Family Court Services is where she sent the forms but the hearing will be at juvenile court when the report is in. Thank you for the contact info Crystaly I will call them and see how long it will take. Bio will be back in the state in Aug so I guess if it takes that long I will have his address again.
Kathy (the woman at Juvenile Court) asked me a strange question...she wanted to know how I was going to terminate his rights? I said I had the book and was going to use Chapter 5 (willful failure) and I guess I would need a court date for him to show up to. She said that I had to petition to terminate his rights first??? (Chapter 7) I'm confused again I thought I filed, met with Family Services - they initated contact with bio, wrote the report, court date - he shows or doesn't, then finish....am I missing something?
I have been going back over your posts crystaly, AJBs mom, and Kallen3 to see the process so I thought I had it right but now the petition is confusing me. I have to provide all the reasons (8604 & 7822b) and type them up is that all a petition is?
Myfaith7 how did you find a paralegal? Kathy said she can't recommend any of the lawyers (just for a consult on what to do next - her suggestion) because it's favoritism...but if I have to write up something I may feel better if someone looks at it - or is it easier than it looks?

[StressinSanMateo]

So I called Family Court Services the lady said she had received my husband's request and will be sending out the request for documents by Friday and I can send it all back to her when I have it all.
I asked her about the home visit she said it depends on which mediator I get and I asked about help with the termination she said yes but you want to contact a lawyer on the best way. Which is it the mediator helps or I have to hire someone else to do the termination? Did I hear her totally wrong?
So frustating - bio dad doesn't see or support child but we have to jump through hoops to let him know someone else wants the child who will love and support them but we just want to make sure bio didn't want another chance at screwing with everyone's head for awhile....sorry venting

[myfaith7]

My paralegal was referred to me from the paralegal that handled my previous divorce. He didn't specialize in step-parent adoptions, so he referred me to a co-worker. The department that you're going through should have a paralegal that they can refer. We do have to go through alot of hoops, however it protects us in the end. My BF would try to say he knew nothing about it, or that he wantes to be a father, just for the sake of pissing everyone off. So, I'm glad they make us cover ourselves. Good luck!

[myfaith7]

Crystaly,

He's been calling lately (every holiday), so I was hoping the adoption process would be close to ending. I'm not sure if he could try to take me back to court, knowing he hasn't visited her, but try to take me back to court just for the sake of looking like Superdad. Right now I don't think he has the money anyhow.

[crystaly]

Originally Posted by StressinSanMateo

I finally got a hold of her...Family Court Services is where she sent the forms but the hearing will be at juvenile court when the report is in. Thank you for the contact info Crystaly I will call them and see how long it will take. Bio will be back in the state in Aug so I guess if it takes that long I will have his address again.
Kathy (the woman at Juvenile Court) asked me a strange question...she wanted to know how I was going to terminate his rights? I said I had the book and was going to use Chapter 5 (willful failure) and I guess I would need a court date for him to show up to. She said that I had to petition to terminate his rights first??? (Chapter 7) I'm confused again I thought I filed, met with Family Services - they initated contact with bio, wrote the report, court date - he shows or doesn't, then finish....am I missing something?
I have been going back over your posts crystaly, AJBs mom, and Kallen3 to see the process so I thought I had it right but now the petition is confusing me. I have to provide all the reasons (8604 & 7822b) and type them up is that all a petition is?
Myfaith7 how did you find a paralegal? Kathy said she can't recommend any of the lawyers (just for a consult on what to do next - her suggestion) because it's favoritism...but if I have to write up something I may feel better if someone looks at it - or is it easier than it looks?

Ok...now heres what you have to do. Type up a petition to terminate his rights. You need to use certain codes from the california family code sections. If you want send me a private message with your email address and I can send you the petition I used. Mine is in great detail and it might really help you, you can change the names and stuff and some of the wording to fit your situation.

[crystaly]

Originally Posted by myfaith7

Crystaly,

He's been calling lately (every holiday), so I was hoping the adoption process would be close to ending. I'm not sure if he could try to take me back to court, knowing he hasn't visited her, but try to take me back to court just for the sake of looking like Superdad. Right now I don't think he has the money anyhow.

I hope you know that if hes calling that counts as contact. And he can try to take you to court the minute he hears of an adoption. That can slow down the process but he will have to jump through hoops for the courts if he doesnt want his rights terminated.

[myfaith7]

He only has my work number, and when he does call they're harassing messages. I originally had a restraining order against him, but it did not cover my daughter so that he could keep going to the police station to pick her up for his visits. I have the last message saved where he's threatening to come to my house.