[khrizze]

HI again,

Just wondering...I met my current husband when my son was two. I had a restrainning order on bio-dad at that time. 8 years passed with no support or contact. I contacted the DA's office and suied for child support. At that hearing I asked bio-dad for consent to adopt of course he said no and I still didn't receive child support. The DA suggested that I attach his SDI which I did. All of 8.00 a month that we get. I recieved SDI for my son for about 1 1/2 before I found out that my son had a half-brother. I contacted bio-dad and reintroduced my son to his dad and brother. Since that time Joey has seen bio-dad twice and now bio-dad is in jail. Can I show abandoment? or because I have beeen the one to initiate contact to make sure this is what my son wants. Did I complicate matters? Khristine

[roxanna425]

I do not htink you can sue him for abandonment if you have a restraining order against him. You can get him for not paying child support however. Yes if you had a case for a no-contact order it does complicate things that you violated it. that won't look good in court. you should talk to a lawyer.

[khrizze]

Hi

my restrainning order was when joey was 2. The order was for 3 years. I didn't come into contact with bio-dad untill last summer. I did see him in court 5 years ago when the DA went after him for child support. Thanks for your reply. Khristine

[myfaith7]

What if the restraining order was only for my husband and I, and it eliminated my daughter? He was never served a copy of the restraining order. He moved out of state to be with his other daughter and girlfriend. Could I still file abandonment? There was no payment for one year after the restraining order, however now CS has been garnished from his check since January of this year.

I'm wondering if I could still prove abandonement.

[Kallen330]

It depends upon if he has had the ability to contact. If he has not been denied contact with this child and choose the other child over this one..it does make him look bad and it looks like abandonment.

Usually garnishment doesn't count for them if they are uninvoled.

Hope this helps.

[AJBs Mom]

garnishment is also of past money owed not current child support. So he is not supporting the child currently. for kristine has it been one year since contact with the child. IF so you can prove abandonement. if not you should wait. Things do get complicated, however you did not complicate the matter. Also if he has never paid child support that is abandonement also.

[myfaith7]

BF was not denied visitation with daughter, and also did not attempt to contact. He chose to move out of state with his girlfriend and other child, however now they're not together and they're garnishing his check for that child too. I have a feeling he has moved back to california, but I am going off of the last known address when it comes to serving him. I have no other contact with his family members, and the child support agency cannot give me his address.

He also tried to "motion to vacate" the child support order on the other child stating he never received the child support paperwork. The the other mother said he never showed up to court.

The DA said this made him look bad, because he initiated the court action, just as he initiated the visitation with my daughter, and just droppped out of her life.

Kallen/AJB,
I know you said in abandonement cases, the burden of proof is on the BF. How would he prove he has had contact? Birthday cards sent by mail? Phonecalls? He hasn't done either one, I was just wondering would it be his word against ours? Should I be going to the police station where the visitation exchange is supposed to take place, every other saturday?

[AJBs Mom]

Maybe you are misunderstanding, HE has to prove that he has contacted the child that you are saying that he has not tried to contact. SO he would have to have someone say that he visited her on such time for such amount of time and called tht child at this number and here is the phone statement to prove the phone call. Make a timeline of when he saw her last. It is your burden to prove he has not seen her or sent support. Vacate means to totally deminish the hearing, meaning right there he was saying I do not want to pay child support. For example in my case my bf was trying to get the state to forgive his child support. THat did not look good for him. Yes it is your word against his but your word is what is believed he has to back his up with documentation. If visitation was to take place at the police station and you can get documentation he never showed up in the past that would help , however if it was just a nuetral place of exchange it will be hard to get. YOu are not looking for documentation of recent weeks will not help your case much.