[ColleenP]

if my ex is paying child support via wage garnishment and he has NO choice but to pay or go to jail (on probation for contempt with the county) is this considered willfully paying child support? He hasn't paid anything of his arrears back.

I am just confused by what is considered willful these days because I know is CA if you have a job they attach your wages for CS no matter what?

If this is not considered willfully paying then in 5 months he will have been gone for 1 year (his choice to not see the kids) can I take away his rights, and if his rights get taken away does he still have to pay child support until my fiance adopts?

Sorry for the silly questions but I don't get the legal talk of this?

Also I go to court tomorrow to get SOLE custody of my kids after a 7 month struggle, if this is granted to me is it one step easier for my fiance to adopt later?

Colleen who is really confused right now!

[Searching_03256]

Colleen - it has been a while since I looked at the Ca rules but I can tell you that in Oregon there is no "Wilfully" paying - it only matters whether he has paid support or not. If a parent is paying through garnishment then they have not abandoned.

-Scott

[debsdone]

But.........here is what I know..

#1 He is paying child support. I seriously doubt there are grounds for "abandonment"

#2 If you are getting sole custody, he still pays child support

#3 I don't think anything can show abandonment if you want to have someone adopt. sometimes the release of the burdon of child support will help convince them to sign off their legal rights. I just don't think you can force the issue while collecting support.....even if there is a amount still owing. I personally would consider it "incentive" for later, if it is in the best interest of the child.
Debi

(sorry Scott...we must have posted at the same time! I defer to Scott..)

[Sledge]

If he is paying child support you cannot prove abandoment, if he does not want to pay child support give him the option to term his right voluntarily. He might suprise you. If he does not want to give up his rights you will need to get a lawyer to try and term his rights involuntarily, will be tougher and more expensive this way.

Colleen,

Though it is true that he is considered paying child support (whether through garnishment or any way), you can charge abandonment if he has no contact with the kids for a year. However, you cannot start the step-parent adoption until you guys have been married for a year.

A suggestion: can you and John get a civil ceremony now and then have the big wedding later? That way you have a headstart on the adoption.

Good luck.

Saili

[ColleenP]

I now have full sole custody of my kids. He didn't even show up.

John and I know we can't start the adoption process until we are married and that is our plan. I and just starting to figure out what we will be up to and how we need to start.

Thank you for all your wonderful advice.

Colleen

[Kallen330]

While your waiting out a couple of years, look over CA Fam. Code 8604 (b). This would be the law you would want to use if he stays away.


Good Luck!