[ColleenP]

I am not sure if I am in the right place.

Here is my story. My name is Colleen, I have two boys Tylor (age 3 1/2) and Kyle (age 2 1/2). Their father has chosen to not see them for almost 8 months now (he just stoped showing up when he was court ordered to and stoped calling the kids). He is paying CS but not by choice, he has arrears of over $9500 plus interest (10% every month on balance) and the only reason he is now paying is because I was on welfare (2 years ago) and the DA has him for contempt and he is on probation and they are threatening jail if he doesn't pay plus it is being taken out of his paycheck.

I go to court on Thursday to finally change visitation and custody so I have sole custody with no visitation unless it is supervised if he shows back up. I have jumped through every hoop there is because I have no idea where he is or his phone number (it was disconnected along time ago).

I am engaged to a man who loves my children like there is no tomorrow (my baby doesn't know anyone else really) and my oldest adores him and has started to ask questions if my fiance is dad or not (we just answer him with my fiance loves him very much and will never leave). My fiance has been around for 18 months and we all live together.

I don't forsee my ex showing up again (he has a daughter from another relationship that he hasn't seen in 6 years). I know CS is considered contact but I can fight that sence he isn't paying any of the arrears and it is not by choice.

What are the chances my fiance can adopt my kids after we get married in September of 2004 if my ex still hasn't seen the kids? Do we have to wait for a year if my ex has been gone for over a year and a half? What do we have to do to get this started? I have a lawyer who will help with it but it is so expensive and my fiance says he doesn't care what it costs he wants to adopt the boys.

I perdict that my ex is off of probation in June and he will stop paying child support again and they can't do anything for 90 days again and then it starts all over again but this will happen after I get married and I really pushed the DA to do something when he stoped paying (ex got fired and and then became self employed so he didn't have a wage garnishment) but I probably won't push it again.

TIA~

Colleen

[christina_davis]

Coleen, First off in Ca there is a law which is civil code 8604.B that states if there is NO SUPPORT OR NO CONTACT IN 1 YEAR IT IS CONSIDERED ABANDONMENT. And believe me it works, my husband just adopted my 2 girls last month because of this law. Even if he pays you child support, if he DOSENT see the boys, you can have his parental rights taken away. If you do that you do not need his consent to the adoption. If you do not know where he is more than likely you will have to place an ad in the paper where he was last and run it i believe for 30 days. If you do not get a response from him you go to court and inform them you have made an attempt to contact. Then they will set you for a hearing date and that is when you produce all of your evidence of him not seeing them or caring for them in any kind of way. I would consult an attorney to do this for you, it is much easier i think. Have you called the DA and asked for a address for him, im assuming if he is paying support they know where he is?? Good luck to you..

[ColleenP]

So what you are saying is if he hasn't seen the kids but IS paying child support due to wage garnishment I can still relinquish his rights?

The DA can't give me his address it is confidential information unless I have it sepined from court and I will do that if i have to. Personally I like him being gone and not messing with my kids heads like he always did.

Thank you for the advice. Any other imput would be nice.

Colleen

[christina_davis]

(b) If one birth parent has been awarded custody by judicial
order, or has custody by agreement of both parents, and the other
birth parent for a period of one year willfully fails to communicate
with and to pay for the care, support, and education of the child
when able to do so, then the birth parent having sole custody may
consent to the adoption, but only after the birth parent not having
custody has been served with a copy of a citation in the manner
provided by law for the service of a summons in a civil action that
requires the birth parent not having custody to appear at the time
and place set for the appearance in court under Section 8718, 8823,
8913, or 9007.
(c) Failure of a birth parent to pay for the care, support, and
education of the child for the period of one year or failure of a
birth parent to communicate with the child for the period of one year
is prima facie evidence that the failure was willful and without
lawful excuse.


This is civil code 8604.B if you fall under these guidelines then it is pretty self explanatory.. Hope this helps.. Let me know if you have anymore questions, happy to help..

Though it seems like you have a good case, a step-parent adoption is not even considered in some counties until the parents have been married an entire year. So you would have to hope that he still has had no contact during this entire time, and then it should be really easy, you many not even need a lawyer.

Good luck.

Saili