[mrs_lucas]

Hello...I am new to the place. I have been looking for a discussion forum to join and after looking at many others I landed here. My husband and I have been together for 5 years married 3 years. We have always wanted a big family but after a good 2 years of unsucess I was diagnosed with PCO among many other things. So we did about 4 rounds of Clomid with no success and about a year ago we decided to adopt. I have always been open to adoption. I am adopted! My husband had his reserves but with God's help he is now completelty open to the matter. We looked in to domestic adoption first but just didn't feel right paying all that money when there are so many children in the foster care system. We went thru an orientation and all of the paperwork with an agency only to be let down when they told us they would not take us on as clients because we did not want to do the domestic. We were told basically that they did not want to do all the work without getting paid. After that whole ordeal I was so pissed off. After some more searching we found another fost/adopt agency that we are very pleased with. We had our inital oreintation and I am mailing off all the paperwork tomorrow. I am very excited but very nervous in the same breath. I hope that I can provide you all with support and advice and that you all can do the same for me. Oh by the way I am in Redlands, CA. Hope to hear from you all...

[DannieAS]

I hope you find an agency that you like...out of curiosity if you still want to get a child through the foster system why not go through San Bernardino County? If you have reasons for not doing that then make sure the agency tells you everything you need to know about their placements and who gets dibs on a child who's plan then turns to adoption.

I"m in Riverside county so can't speak for SB county...however I do know that in our county families have first dibs on any foster child going to adoption...and they have told us that one thing they don't like about some agencies (others are fine) is that they don't tell this detail to their parents so it comes as a shock when a child is up for adoption and the Foster Family Agency homes may not get the child that was in their home...

just a thought...Ask questions and continue to ask questions!!!!!

Welcome! I'm fairly new myself, but have learned a lot in the past couple of months.

[mrs_lucas]

Intially we were going to go with the county but they can only handle adoptions in their specific county whereas certain agencies can handle all counties in CA and even some can handle other states. I am aware of the family having dibs. Thanks though. I appreciate your concern for me.

[DannieAS]

Yeah...people have preferences so I don't care whether one goes through county or agency...I was just wanting you to be aware of what can happen between county and agency (in similar areas)...

Good luck and good for you for looking outside of your area as well....

[Yash]

I'm glad you and your husband heeded God's call. Trust the Lord with all your heart and hang on to your hats, the rollercoaster ride is like none other you have ever been on!

WELCOME!

[takingtheplunge]

Originally Posted by mrs_lucas

Intially we were going to go with the county but they can only handle adoptions in their specific county whereas certain agencies can handle all counties in CA and even some can handle other states. I am aware of the family having dibs. Thanks though. I appreciate your concern for me.

Hello. It's really none of my business, but San Bernardino and Riv. county have plenty of availability as compared to other calif. counties. SB is a big county -- plenty of races and plenty of availablity due to sio-ecominics. You should not need a priv. agency to help you. You will get the most information about the placements and will be selected before a priv. agency home if you go with the county.

I met a couple in the Riv. county orientation that adopted from SB Cnty just when they lived there three year ago. They got an adorable baby boy -- thriving and healty.

I know another couple who adopted 3 through SB county, going through the county.

The information that agencies get is all second hand and sometimes (not always) you will not know the whole case of a placement when you get it.

Good luck

[claschober]

We adopted all 3 of our boys from San Bernardino County. While it was a long and sometimes slow process it was definetly worth it! We at one point had talked w/ some neighboring counties about perhaps going through a private agency to be considered for their children. San Bernardino County told us that they like us to be with them as a waiting family for a year before they send off our homestudy to anywhere else. Our actually waiting time for our sib. group was 4 1/2 months and for our youngest it was only about a month and a half. We had a smooth process for all three of our boys and overall had a good experience going through the county.

Whatever agency you decide to go with there are lots of us here who have been there done that or are going through it with you. I know this forum was a great wealth of information and support and I hope you find the same to be true for you!

[DannieAS]

claschober,

we seem to be 'neighbors' in work and community it is kind of nice to see that the process was fairly fluid for you guys. I hope that this will be the case for me as well, but I guess you never know. I seem to be liking Riverside county so far. We'll see as I do more. Almost done with Pride classes Yay!

[mrs_lucas]

There is a sib set of 3 that we were interested in and they are in LA county and SB county said that they would not be able to help us with an LA county adoption.

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by mrs_lucas

There is a sib set of 3 that we were interested in and they are in LA county and SB county said that they would not be able to help us with an LA county adoption.

yah and if that is what you're aiming for go for it...I have a co-worker that after finished homestudy with SB county stated she was looking at a child from LA and so SB stated they couldn't release their homestudy for a year to LA. HOpe things are going smoothly!

[claschober]

We were in the same boat w/ those two couties...ultimately what San Bernardino told us is that if we pursued the LA county child, they would put our file on hold for a year and not show it to anyone. We ultimately decided to stay with them and if we had been a waiting family for over a year they said they would send our homestudy out to other counties.

Let us know what you decide to do and how it goes!

[mrs_lucas]

Hello all just checking in. So I mailed off our application only for it to be lost in the mail. Faxed paperwork on Monday. I was expecting to have a bit of a wait until I heard back from them but they called Monday to tell me that they wanted my husband and I to start the Pride classes this Thursday (tomorrow). Then got another call that they wanted us to get fingerprinted first and to start next week so we made the appointment to get our fingerprints done on Friday and then my husband got a call yesterday and the adoption coordinator checked with her supervisor and they want us to start the class tomorrow even though we do not have our fingerprints done. Its funny how prior to all of this I was doing things with the thoughts of this being a long process to even get to the classes (our agency requires that the home study been complete prior to the Pride classes) so getting this call literally minutes after faxing the paperwork was a complete shock. I am trying to stay grounded because I know the wait can still be very long especially since we are looking for a child between the ages of 0-2. I am excited though!!! I will continue to update ya'll as things progress. What is covered in the Pride classes? Does anybody know of any support groups in the Inland Empire area?

[DannieAS]

yay happy things are moving for you My county is the opposite, have to have the classes done before the homestudy....so I have tomorrow and next thursday and I'm done with my pride classes. While they may seem like a drag, I found it to have good information to think about as I hadn't considered some aspects going into this.

If you hear of any support groups, please let me know since we're neighboring counties.

[..patience..]

it seems like families are being duped... or held hostage. it's funny that my interest in adoption came from sources outside my current county of residence. the county doesn't advertise or recruit families but we need them for our homestudies. My goal is to adopt a school aged child, my hope is to be available to a child from outside my county and state as well. I don't GET the 1yr wait... when everyone who wants to adopt needs the homestudy regardless. hmm

[DannieAS]

Originally Posted by ..patience..

it seems like families are being duped... or held hostage. it's funny that my interest in adoption came from sources outside my current county of residence. the county doesn't advertise or recruit families but we need them for our homestudies. My goal is to adopt a school aged child, my hope is to be available to a child from outside my county and state as well. I don't GET the 1yr wait... when everyone who wants to adopt needs the homestudy regardless. hmm

well, if you go through your county....they expect that you want to adopt within the county. Nothing duping about that!
I would not think to look for another child out of state or county because I'm doing it through mine...now if I had gone with an agency that would be different. So this is why you research....if you know the info, you know what the expectations/rules are.