[calimomX3]

I am so upset right now, my day is ruined. Our baby girl we have was placed with us in Nov. She was 8 weeks premature, the hospital failed to let the social worker or I know about the childs health risks. I found out the health issue's when i took her to her one week check up. Now of course the county has been sending out county nurses to assess her to see if her is medically fragile. Heres the prob, our agency is not med. frag. So the nurse that came out today said "so you are you a med frag. home" I said no our agency does not even take med. frag. and she just gave me this look. So she assessed the baby and told me to call her after the baby's cardio appt Thursday. So depending on the results of the cardio Thursday I have no clue what is going to happen. If she goes med. frag. i am worried they will move her to a med. frag. home. I am just so pissed cause I feel like someone somewher screwed up with the whole process of placing her and now I sit her stressing that they are going to take my baby girl away.

[calimomX3]

never mind the first post. My frusteration went to someone riping my heart out of my body, when the new social worker called to tell me that they have an adoptive home for her. Long story short cause my heart hurts to even talk about it. The social workers have failed to tell me or my agency that our foster baby has 2 siblings adopted by the same family. That family is interested in adopting her as well. So the social worker goes on and on telling me how oh well maybe it may still work out for you. I stopped her and said no I am going to make this decision and not wait for all your meetings and what not, if she has bio-sbilings then I want her to grow up with them. That is only fair to her. Oh how my heart aches right now. I can not even look at her without crying and hurting. This will be the end to our foster care journey. This is the second time we have been through this and I won't let it happen to us again.

[CaddoRose]

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this, especially since it seems the agency did not fully inform you from the beginning. I can not(really I can) believe that the state never bothered to tell anybody that the baby had siblings already in care. WT???? What a disservice to you, the baby, the siblings and the other family. I will never understand why they choose to play these types of placement games with people. It's simply cruel.

[mommytoEli]

ugh....my heart aches for you, but you are right, siblings should be together. what an awful experience for your family though, twice. it is frustrating and heart wrenching...and i am so very sorry.

[wannabeamomma]

This is aweful. I am so sad for you and so disgusted at the system.

[takingtheplunge]

My heart goes out to you for your loss. You did the right thing, though by not fighting bio-placements.

I know you said you are done, but it sounds like you have a big heart. You have made a difference with these babies. Imagine them being in a hospital or large group home while they were nursing. Although it sucks to loose them, I know there is one for you out there. There are so many babies who need permanent mamas. Your agency is just after $ by quickly placing the county's overflow of babies into homes without matching right. I'm cursing at them for you. My friend had an agency lie to her, too. She had no idea the mom was working the case plan and had to give back her babies right before x-mas.

I know it's torcher right now, but after you have healed, you may want to consider signing up directly with the county. I know you said before that the classes were too far or something like that. But, you can request "NO RISK" in terms of placement failure. In this case, you will have to wait longer, but they will only place a child with you that is up for TPR. They typically don't like people saying "no risk" but I was told by a couple I met that you can do that. This couple lost a placement. The only condition that they would take another is if TPR was imminent.

I will pray for you.

[calimomX3]

Thanks girls for all your nice posts. I heard back from her county worker on Thursday as I was driving home from taking the baby to her cardio appt. The social worker appologized to me for our first conversation and said she hates to have to be the one to break the news like she did. However, she did tell me "I know you want the baby to be with her bio siblings however, we are looking at a bunch of things and will be having meetings throughout next week. We want to determ what is best for the baby and just cause she has these siblings does not mean it is the best place for her". She told me it could go either way at this point. I am ok with it now. I know I have more time to love her and if it is forever then that is an added bonus. As far as them weighing what is best for her, I think it has to do with the siblings having some issue's do to the bio-parents being related. Now that does not mean this baby will have the same probs, more probs or be a normal child. God is the one who knows that, so we will see. I will of course keep you update. Thanks!