[alidaw4]

Hi Gals,
I am looking for ideas. We applied with an agency (private christian agency) in March. We live in Orange County. My hubby took fingerprints in April. We have been waiting month after month to hear back and begin the process but no such luck. A sweet sibling set we prayed for for many months and pined for has already been adopted out. I don't get it! My hubby has a misdemeanor charge on his record from like 12-15 years ago that is not at all child related.

I Have heard from other people that have also had issues that have been able to adopt. I don't get it, we were totally upfront and it seems to have back fired as they won't let us take the classes or ANYTHING until they get the finger prints back. I hear it can take 6-8 months to get them back if something shows up
but its been nearly 10. We are totally upstanding citizens. My hubby has volunteered many many years with special Olympics, (passed THOSE fingerprints) loves children and does civil war reenactments.

I spoke with someone at Children's Bureau. She advised me to switch to the county as she says she thinks they get finger prints back sooner. She said it was a shame that they are keeping a large sibling set from a home. ( we are minorities so we prefer minority children and I want my family size doubled. ( a sibling set of 4)

My concern is that we are Quiverfull. We will have a very large family. I want to be able to have the adoption complete before we run out of bedrooms/ We have a 5 bedroom. Also, I am pregnant now, does
this affect the process at all or what. Any ideas? Should I stick it out with the agency or go with county. Alida w4 expecting #5 in July,
(hoping for a sibling set set of at least 1-2 girls and two boys, at least one baby. ) Bless you. Alida w4

[pechocha]

Do you mean 10 weeks? If in fact you've been waiting 10 months for fingerprints, that seems way too long. We went with the county, LA, and I think our wait was about 6 to 8 weeks for fingerprints, even sooner.

I think your best bet will be to call OC DCFS, I have heard that they have their act together, and much better organized than LA county. Good Luck!

[takingtheplunge]

If you are preg, forget about adoptiing for a while. They have rules against it. in fact, I got preg while on the wait list. I pondered whether or not to tell. I was BLASTED for even considering not telling. I lost the pregnancy. However, if I would have told, I would have had to wait 6 months after miscarriage and/or one year after birthing a child. They will not let you take in other kids while pregnant or right after birthing or losing a child because of emotions. They have had bad experiences: people who decide to give back kids in favor of their new borns, moms breaking down over loss of pregnancy and loss of placment, etc. It sucks because I am sure you know what you can emotionally handle.

You are lucky you can have kids. I wish you all the best. Perhaps now, the sib set can go to a family w/o kids until your little one is born and settled in.

[alidaw4]

Thanks,
we have been waiting 10 months. I think we will go through county and try to get all the requirements done, so that hopefully whenever we are able, we can... Thanks. Alida

[HappyHopefulMommy]

10 months is a VERY long time to get fingerprints back. We are in Sacramento area, but our agency seriously had them 2 days after we did them. We are in the process of adopting a sib set of 4 through foster care. We are using a private agency, affiliated with the county. But, if I was pregnant we probably would not have been allowed to be placed. It did happen to a friend who went through the same agency, but it is rare to place a child (children) with a pregnant mom. Good luck.

[newmommyneedshelp]

Hi - I know your "agency" and the person who does the fingerprints is completely clueless. Seriously - when we went thru we waited weeks, then months listening to her various excuses as to why the fingerprints weren't in.... BTW, I'm former military with a high clearence and DH is active duty with the highest clearence you can get! There was NO reason we were waiting other than her not doing her job....

Another couple we went to classes with waited nearly NINIE MONTHS to get their fingerprints back despite the fact that they were both already PRINTED because they ran a largish daycare out of their home!

Sorry you are going thru this -

[MommyWend]

I disagree. I used to be employed by a private agency and was the one who waited for the prints.

When an applicant had a misdemeanor on record, even if it took place 20+ years ago, the prints took many months to clear. I am not surprised that these prints have taken 10 months. It is ridiculous that DOJ, FBI and the Child Abuse Index take this long to review past offenses, but it is not the agency's fault. And if the agency proceeded with the applicant without the proper clearance, they could lose their license. Their hands are tied until the clearance comes through.

In my job, I did notice that the slower response time on prints where the applicant had offenses often meant that they were going to be denied. However, you may be able to appeal. They will send paperwork directly to you and also to the agency if an appeal is an option.

Since you are in California, you should know that Community Care Licensing maintains a site where you can look up your last name. It will tell you if your prints have cleared DOJ within the last 30 days. It is updated daily. Note that FBI and CAI are also needed, but as far as I know, there is no public site to find clearance information for them.

If this link doesn't come through, you can PM me for the Community Care Licensing link. California Background Clearance Listing (Community Care Licensing handles fingerprinting for private agencies, but not for those going through the county.)

I realize none of this matters for the original post writer now that she is pregnant and will not be placed. But I thought I'd chime in for anyone who reads with similar concerns in the future.

And, I guess I felt compelled to vindicate private agencies. The staff at our agency are sharp and committed to the children and families they serve. We are 100% glad that we are foster parenting through an agency.

[newmommyneedshelp]

That might be the case with your agency but knowing the agency that she is/was dealing with - I KNOW it's the staff....our placment with them was a nightmare that I wouldn't wish on anyone!

[alidaw4]

This is so annoying. We have received back all but the DOJ, we called and someone told me they think they lost his file. We may have to get his prints redone. The thing is, we could have already been in the process of adopting.. We are still at square 1 and no further along than we were almost 1 YEAR ago! I honestly don't think we'll be denied. His offense wasn't violent, or child related and we do a lot as a family in the community. He has passed fingerprints to coach Special Olympics and has done that for years.

I am so disappointed. . We have wanted to adopt for years but didn't have enough bedrooms. Now we have enough bedrooms and we're still waiting for the prints. Now the the prints should be in, we can't adopt because I'm pregnant.And, they want me to wait until my child is older! Goodness! It sure seems like they make it really hard to adopt children that are otherwise aging out of a failing system. I can't see why it matters if I'm pregnant. I understand their precautions, but also know what I can handle.

I have lived in foster care before and I would have much preferred a family with not many bedrooms to being in a group home or in foster care. Yikes! I would have much preferred being with a loving family even if they had a baby, than to linger in the system getting passed around from home to home. I am seriously considering skipping all this and doing international. Though the fundraising for that sounds daunting for a few little ones. I know many that have done it. I'd prefer NOT to have to raise $30,000 to adopt, but perhaps it's better than not getting the opportunity to do so. I had wanted to help children nearby, but this is ridiculous. We wanted to redeem 3 or 4 little ones from this system, but apparently it's not meant to be. We will keep praying and seeking God's will, though this seems like a shut door. Thanks for all the advice. Alida w4

[alidaw4]

Originally Posted by newmommyneedshelp

That might be the case with your agency but knowing the agency that she is/was dealing with - I KNOW it's the staff....our placment with them was a nightmare that I wouldn't wish on anyone!

NewMommy-thank you so much for sharing your experience. Can you tell me, how long ago were you with this agency? How long were you with them before you dropped them? Also, I don't mind waiting after my baby is born to adopt. The classes, homestudy and paperwork will probably take that long. I have about 7 months until I am due anyways. Do you know if Orange country insists on your child being 6 months to a year? I called county and asked and she encouraged m to continue on with classes, homestudy, the process, then said they do want to to focus on my child. As if I'm going to have my baby and drop my infant like a bad habit. Of COURSE I'll focus on my children, I'll focus on ALL of my children including any foster/to adopt ones.

[takingtheplunge]

Originally Posted by alidaw4

Hi Gals,
My concern is that we are Quiverfull. We will have a very large family. I want to be able to have the adoption complete before we run out of bedrooms/ We have a 5 bedroom. Also, I am pregnant now, does
this affect the process at all or what. Any ideas? Should I stick it out with the agency or go with county. Alida w4 expecting #5 in July,
(hoping for a sibling set set of at least 1-2 girls and two boys, at least one baby. ) Bless you. Alida w4

I am reading this again. I finally have a moment since my baby is sleeping. I can't help but be concerned for you, too. However, for different reasons. If I understand this, you will have 5 bio kids and want 3 to 4 more (one of which you want to be a baby). So if you are successful, you will have 8 to 9, two of which are infants? Wow, how do you do it? You later said that kids are "aging out of the system." Yet, you want a baby in the mix. I was told that there are more people who want babies than babies available, so I had to wait to be matched. Even though I had a 4 bedroom house and no hope for bio kids, I was matched with only one baby. My profile said I was open to more than one. Now, I have to wait six months after the adoption is final to adopt another one. This will in effect end up being over a year.

I know you are probably a great person and have the best of intentions, but when I read your email it seems as if you want a family made to order -- listing number of girls/boys/babies. To boot, you are blessed with five of your own, too.

Please don't be frustrated if prints and pregnancy lengthen adoption time. I've learned that sometimes things happen for a reason. Be thankful for what you have: a large house, a family, a baby on the way. Your future adoptions will come in time. And who knows, maybe you won't get a sib set of 3 to 4. Maybe you will only get one more, but perhaps that will be the one that needs your love the most.

[alidaw4]

Hi Dear,
I wanted to respond to your post. I know you are well meaning so understand I say ALL This in love and with a gentle heart.
What may seem impossible for some is completely doable for another family. You must know I STARTED OFF with twins. So while that might seem impossible to someone with only 1child, it has always been like that for me. I was raised in a huge family watching lots of kids. I was a preschool teacher. I also know MANY huge families that adopt many children and are doing wonderfully! If the Lord provides us with more children, we'll do it, the same as we have our 4. Trusting in Him every moment, seeking His wisdom. People may have to wait for a baby because many will wait as long as it takes to get their perfect Caucasian baby. I have met folks waiting a long while specifically for a healthy infant. We want black children, and there are MANY available. We'd also consider Pacific Islander, mixed race, native american or Asian.

In my own family it seems almost every year someone gets their children&(babies) taken away for drug abuse, newborns, being born addicted to drugs. Toddlers and many olders available also. I just so happen to live in another state and they don't seem to like to do interstate foster as they did when I was in the system. So I am unable to foster to adopt anyone here in California as my family is in the Midwest.

Why is it that they had only 1 infant? Were you open to race? Or were you "specific"about race? That could be why.
I hear of babies all the time needing homes. They may not be white but many available. We want black children, including olders with problems, my only condition is that I refuse a child over the age of seven, but that leaves alot of space in between. We want at least ONE girl, 2-5 years old..but that's not asking alot if your choosing a sib set of 3 or 4. I have seen it many times on MANY photolistings. Also, I don't want ONLY an infant, but will accept one if it is included in a sib set. I specified that. I'm not out to get "only " an infant. I realize that MANY infants happen to have SIBLINGS and would love to take ALL not just the 1. We'd also be willing to adopt special needs, deaf, or HIV, addicted to drugs. How is this ANY different then you specifically only wanting infants? Isn't that a made to order family too? Except that my family would be built to order as they are probably not infants, probably children a bit more hard to place instead of waiting specifically for 1 infant? I am not adopting mainly to build my family though that will happen, I am adopting to rescue little ones from a terrible condition and bring then into a loving home. Or to help a birthmother with encouragement and support to be able to successfully reunify with her child. I have seen FP in such a hurry to adopt children do everything they can to discourage reunification in an attempt to adopt. I'm not going into this to get kids, more to bless a hurting family. If I can adopt then great. I know if you foster long enough, odds are you will get to adopt eventually. So I think the fact that I DO already have children is even better as I won't be out with a certain goal or mindset. I can love and encourage that family while knowing that in the end, whether they reunify or not, I'll be doing things from right motives. Not saying this is you or even MOST FP. But I have seen it.

Even if all we do is foster and Never adopt, We'd still be blessing a family. My hubby's experience with Special Needs, my experience and my work with children and experience with mothers and children in distress.. a wonderful combination to do alot of GOOD!

My own mother "aged out" and never learned skills to parent. I ended up as a 2nd generation in the system. I know both what its like to be a child bounced around from place to home... I also have the sympathy and perspective of the mother that loses her children as I saw my mother wasn't able to "pull it together." She lacked the support and my foster mother was not helpful toward reconciliation. She hated white people and my mother is white.

In my email I did exactly as you did, I specified the ages I was willing to consider, same as you, and said I'd be open to either gender other than the girl we wanted. That is different than a person specifically requesting healthy infants under 6-12 months. So I say this in love but your post seems a little judgmental and a tad bit hypocritical. But email doesn't convey emotions or tone and I understand that.
Please understand I say this more trying to understand than arguing. I'm blessed with bio children doesn't make my love for hurting children, specifically children in fostercare any less valid. I know you probably didn't mean for it to come out that way.

We are waiting on the Lord for the right children for OUR family as I imagine you are too. I'm not judging you for wanting an infant. I understand why you would want to. I was pointing out or similarities. You'd be surprised how many people tried to foster/adopt and moved on to international for these very types of issues that deterred them from adopting from country. BTW my babies are so easy! Slings and baby carriers make raising kids so wonderful. I can tend to babies and MANY children all at once! (just as I did with my twins)

I am obviously thankful for my awesome family. I don't understand this comment many of my PAP friends
get of "be grateful for what you DO have" just because we want to adopt more children. It is BECAUSE I am grateful for all my blessings that we want to extend this love and joy to children in need! The Lord will honor our hearts for the fatherless and He will direct the Right children for us whether by fostering, adoption through county, or international. May He bless you as you build your family as I know He will bless us for wanting to use ours to be a blessing to others. Best Wishes, Alida w4