[One_Happy_Momma]

... I don't know what to do. I have always wanted to adopt 3 kids, I have my 2 beautiful girls, and this new baby would make it complete.

The big BUT is that my little one is not even 18 months yet, and I feel that it wouldn't be fair to her to bring in another child and take the time that so rightfully belongs to her, and what would that do to my 3 year-old? so much less time left for her.

This baby, one month-old was offered to me this week-end by a friend of a friend, she had previously offered me her 2nd son who was yet to be born at that time, but DD2 was only a couple of months old, and I wasn't ready yet. -- Not that I feel ready to have 3 kids 3 and under and single parent, but at the same time I feel when will a get a chance like that ever again?

This woman (early-20's) has 4 kids, first born is with first husband, she relinquised her rights, but sees that child almost everyday as she's sort of the babysitter while first husband works. The other 3 kids are by her second husband, but neither had planned it. He wanted abortion, she wouldn't have it. They feel that they just can't do -- too hard with 3 under 2.

Mom is also bipolar and I have not clue what that could mean for this baby.

Help me get my thinking straight!

[shellybelly]

That would be a tough decision. If you do decide to adopt the baby, there are things you can do to keep an eye out for bipolar disorder. I have bipolar disorder and it would have helped me if someone had spotted it earlier. Symptoms typically appear in the adolescent years. It would be helpful to educate yourself on the signs and symptoms, so you could offer the child treatment options. I live a happy and productive life with Lithium, I just take life as it comes

Good Luck!

[nawlinsmom]

Hi, I don't know what I can offer except support, your daughters are beautiful and look very happy, I am sure if you decide to parent this child you will find a way to fit everything into place. I sort of know what you mean though, I am a single mom to a beautiful 5 year old son, when he was almost 3 I was matched again and was nervous about the "time-sharing", however that match fell through and now I feel my time will not come again. I am very blessed to have my son and am perfectly happy, but always there is this twinge about an only child since I grew up with brothers and sisters, I really wanted my son to have that experience as well. You might feel differently since you have two children but just know that you might not get another chance to fulfill your dream, I say take it when it comes. JMO Please take care and let us know how it goes.

[renegademo]

your daughters are so cute, by the way! i'm new to this site. my home study was finished this week! i'm in california... los angeles to be exact. if you don't adopt the baby, maybe the birth mother would consider me! i wasn't planning on a baby but your story is so touching. actually i am getting licensed this week for foster/adoption through LA county because i wanted older siblings. but i love hearing about responsible mothers who can recognize their limits and have such big hearts to place their babies in loving homes. wow. im really looking forward to becoming a parent.

[One_Happy_Momma]

Originally Posted by renegademo

your daughters are so cute, by the way! i'm new to this site. my home study was finished this week! i'm in california... los angeles to be exact. if you don't adopt the baby, maybe the birth mother would consider me! i wasn't planning on a baby but your story is so touching. actually i am getting licensed this week for foster/adoption through LA county because i wanted older siblings. but i love hearing about responsible mothers who can recognize their limits and have such big hearts to place their babies in loving homes. wow. im really looking forward to becoming a parent.

I just PM you!

[One_Happy_Momma]

Thank you all for your responses and PM's!

I haven't made a decision one way or another, but I'm still praying for guidance. The parents have given me a month to respond or they will parent their child themselves, as they did their 2nd son.

Thanks!

[BCFD]

We have 3 girls - 3, 2, and 1.

DD#1 was placed with us at 5 1/2 weeks and when she was 13 months old we got a call from the county about DD#2. I was freaking out about it and it was a rough few months in the beginning (plus the baby had so many medical issues due to reflux), but it worked out great. They are only 11 months apart and I love having them so close. DD#1's bio mom had another baby and she is 14 months younger than DD#2. So, I have a 3, 2, and 1 year old right now and honestly having them so close together is such a blessing. I guess both have advantages and I do wish that I would have been able to have an only child longer than I did, but I am so thankful that we had the opportunity to adopt DD#2.

It can be done. You'll just need a double stroller. Good luck on your decision.

[Yash]

One_Happy_Momma,

All you can do is let go, let God. My daughter's birth mother has probably given birth to baby number 12. She was due on the 4th. In the past few years, the longest birthmom has kept a child is 4 months and the shortest, my daughter, 6 weeks. While bmom was pregnant my daughter's lawyer was asking me if I would be interested in adopting this sibling. I said they should contact me if or when the baby enters the system, but I just don't know what I will say when they call. My daughter is only 13 1/2 months, my son is 3. It seems like a lot.

I remember fostering when my son was 18 months and I thought that age difference was much too close, but who knows. I'm just letting go and letting God.

[lovesturtles]

Your daughters are beautiful and you sound so very happy. Congratulations. My husband and I are still awaiting a placement. We don't understand the slowness of everything. Yes we are 44 & 45, but we don't think that should be a negative. Our worker said that the babies coming into foster care generally go to younger parents. It doesn't seem right though. We have never had children and cannot have them. We have the experience and patience as well as a very close knit support system of family and friends.
I don't know what you have decided to do, but I wish you all the very best.

[One_Happy_Momma]

Originally Posted by lovesturtles

we are 44 & 45, but we don't think that should be a negative. Our worker said that the babies coming into foster care generally go to younger parents.

I hope you get a new worker, because if that's what she thinks and feels, she won't be working toward placing an infant with you. I hope that when a call comes in for a new baby, she won't be the one making a decision to place with you. I will be 44 in December.


Thank you to all who have responded and to all who PMed regarding this beautiful baby I was offered. I have a meeting with the baby's parents this weekend. Keep us in your prayers!

[One_Happy_Momma]

I had a meeting with the baby's parents this weekend.

I prayed the Lord for guidance, He knows my heart. I truly believe that God only gives us what we can handle, and I can only handle two at this moment.

With a broken heart I had to say no to the baby's parents. It broke my heart and made me feel guilty to have to say know, when so many are praying for one, but I know that if His will is for me to have three children then another will come into our lives later on. I have to focus on the two little angels that He has bestowed on me for now.

Thank you all for your suport!

[Yash]

I pray that you will find peace about this decision. It's not always easy accepting God's answer.

[shellybelly]

Your girls are adorable and they are blessed to have a mommy that loves them so much!

[kakuehl]

I am currently watching my bson and his wife raise 4 children. The younger 3 are 3, 19 months and 5 months. They are finding it challenging and there are two of them. My bson recently spent several weeks away for work; it was definitely challenging for her.

[One_Happy_Momma]

Thank you guys! Your support is appreciated. I know I made the right decision for us, but I still feel bad.