[knudsons]

Well we recieved a call last week from our worker saying San Bernadino county had selected us as the number 1 pic for a sibling group of 4. Well after we got a little more info it is actually 3 with a number 4 in limbo. I have SO many questions and things just seem to stand still sometimes. Also we found out a little known fact about California. It is illegal to even spank your child on the butt. That's what they told our worker so we have to sign some statement that we would never do that to these. We are in Wisconsin by the way. Well I will get to know you all soon and hopefully learn a few things from anyone who has adopted through San Bernadino. By the way our soon to be children's ages are: 1,3,5, and there is a 4 month old in the legal process. My worker spoke to there's yesterday and asked if they had any idea on when placement would occur and the worker told mine she could give no answer or even estimation as California has it's own policies. Anyone else know how long from selection to placement usually takes?

[mommyj]

Congratulations! From my experience in California (I am in San Diego), they do take their sweet time, but I think for the most part it depends on the social worker. We applied to have our niece placed with us last February and it wasn't until August when we got her. She had been through 3 foster homes before they placed her with us, and she was less than 1 year old!
The best piece of advice I can give you is to get an attorney, preferably one from San Bernadino who knows the ins and outs of the foster care system in that county. That spanking statement sent up red flags with me and I wouldn't sign anything without talking to a lawyer. And I have found that social workers are not exactly forthcoming with information and having an attorney will aid in getting the correct and proper information to you. I wished my husband and I had hired an attorney from the moment we got the call about our niece. We learned so much more from an hour consulation with our attorney, than we did with the various social workers we had to deal with.
Good luck to you and the little ones. You are in my prayers.

Justine

[claschober]

Hi! I am adopting my two sons from San Bernardino and we too had to sign the paper regarding spanking our boys. I personally don't think it's a big deal as I would never spank my boys to begin with, although I know that is an individual choice and not one to debate on this particular thread.

As far as a timeline for our county...I have learned the hard way... it all depends on who your sw is. We have had a couple sw's that were not so good and now we have a great one that is really following thru on things.

For us selection to placement took about a month. Our transition took a week, however with you being out of state I am sure the timelines will be different. I am assuming the 5 yr. old is in K, which out here schools are out in the next couple of weeks, so transitioning will probably take place after that.

Best of luck to you and your family!

[runnergal]

Hi Claschober:

I live in San Luis Obispo County, and we have put in for a little boy in San Bernardino. Do you mind me asking, are your boys causcasion? My husband and I are caucasion and the little boy we hope to be placed with is Latino. The adoption coordinator said that they prefer to place children within their own race, but also stated that that's not always possible.

Also, how long did the process take from the time you submitted your homestudy to the county to the time you were told that you were chosen?

Congrats on your little ones!
Holly

[claschober]

Holly-

Yes our boys are caucasian, however many people I know in my support group have children of mixed cultures or of a different culture than they are, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. As it is, my youngest is blonde hair, blue eyes and looks nothing like my dh or I. I was just told by our sw last week that our county is short on families and that if we were to update our homestudy after we finalize ( next month) that we would have a shorter wait than we did with the boys.

As far as the timeline is concerned I can't give you a definite time since we had no idea our homestudy was submitted for the two boys until they called and told us we were chosen. We were a waiting family for only 4 1/2 months so that was not too bad. It was the process of getting our homestudy finished that took so long. (we had a slow sw writing our homestudy.) We were chosen for our boys mid-May, notified beginning of June, and they were placed with us in mid-June. From hearing about the boys to finalizing their adoption will take us about 13 months. Hope that helps and best of luck with you with the little boy! Keep us posted on how things are going.

Cindy

[runnergal]

Hi Cindy~

Thanks for the information! Patience is something that doesn't come easy for me, and hearing about other people's experiences is helpful. I will keep you posted on what happens with the little boy. Our social worker has submitted our home study to several different counties, so we're staying positive!

Thanks again & enjoy those boys of yours!
Holly

[knudsons]

well we were matched and we were notified on July 7 that we were flying out on the 10th we spent a couple days with the kids and just got back. San Bernadino is in a state of utter confusion at this point. My worker back home says this whole match makes her sick to her stomach with how messed up it is at county level. The kids CW is awesome the adoptions worker is not and both workers supervisors are new and not quite up to speed yet. Kids were not as profiled but we feel comfortable we can meet there needs. We were not allowed to even meet the current foster families that have the kids much less ask them questions. TPR hearing on the 3 older ones is set for Jan 27 Mom has already hired an attorney to contest and CW states we are not getting placement until after TPR as they still have to provide ** visits until TPR is finally. Baby is still recieving services so not a clue there legal limbo but we are told that if and when TPR'd he will come to us. Well that's our update, I hope others are having better luck then us with California.

[JC10]

True no spanking in CA. You can spank your own biological children but not if you have foster children in home. We (in our family) have always had a no spanking policy regardless. Not sure about "out of state" placements but we were placed 3 days after selection w/ our 3 little ones and the fourth came to us (4th of the sibling group) over a year later!!!

[straightblues]

I had three sibblings placed with me. I was told at the time they would TPR within 2 months and I would be able to adopt within 6 months. They finally TPR'd after 13 months. We are now waiting an apeal from the parents. I just spoke to my adoption worker this morning and she said to plan for an adoption around March (8 months from now.) So my case went from 6 months to 21 months. I hope yours goes faster.

[knudsons]

TPR hearing was held last week and the judge ordered the children be placed with us in Wisconsin immediately for a period of 29 days which he is calling a trial period then we all come back to court Sep.1 and as long as we are still commited TPR will be granted. So what we know as of now is that the kids are coming within 1 week we know nothing more.

[knudsons]

Just back from San Bernardino with the kids TPR was granted on the older 3 and services for 4 additional months on the baby with a status update on October 4.

[claschober]

Wow, it sounds like things are continuing to move forward. How are the kids settling in? Thanks for the update and enjoy your new family!!!

[knudsons]

Well the kids came let's just say "VERY far off from paperwork and descriptions presented". So as far as settling in I would say well given their issues, we have Speech , OT, PT twice weekly for 3 hours each and then we have in home intensive behavioral needs counseling for 5 days a week 1.5 hours each. Let's just say a bit more then expected!! Their keepers though, God has mysterious ways of doing things.

[straightblues]

Wow that went very fast. Tell us more about the children and how they were decscribe versus what you got. Mine were actually described much worse than I got.

[knudsons]

Well other then the babies medical needs they were described as a Meth exposed, abused, group just flourishing in care and just in need of a consistent environment to shine.
In fact after placement or I should say on fly home day after they had been in hotel with us for a week we get documents stated they have diagnosis of ; FAS, RAD,PTSD,ADHD,Global Developmental Delays ( Autism spectrum),Major Depression. And those documents were in fact right on.
We thought we were getting into a Counseling once a week and monitoring the baby for any health signs situation. Instead we fell in love with 3 babies whom we don't know if they will ever be able to bond, are severely physically agressive and property damaging, Intensive Behavioral Therapy in home 5 days a week has been ordered by their therapist, Physical therapy twice weekly, Occupational Therapy twice weekly, and Speech therapy twice weekly. All 3 need surgery of one kind or another. Doctors appointments are about 3 to 4 days weekly outside the home. We have been very disappointed on the financial side as well. They claimed we would be reimbursed for car rental back in July , as of today 3 trips to California from Wisconsin and 5 weeks of the kids being home we have not seen a penny, not a dime. Even though my job had to cease and my husband missed 3 of 6 weeks of work unpaid due to travel, and our family size doubled. They claim all the problems are because we are an interstate adoption but our agency says bologna they process many many interstates a year.
We are just holding tight, parenting as we do our own as that's what we feel they are and hoping everything legal and financial works out.