[Yash]

I'm thinking about doing foster care for infants, but I work full time. I was wondering how you manage getting your foster kids to their visits and work full-time?

Thanks,

Yash

[ca-bigsister]

I am a full-time teacher. It is very difficult to get my FD to all of her appointments. I leave at 3:15 to get her to:
Monday - singing lessons and then group singing
Tuesday - counseling
Wednesday - 12;45 dismissal every Friday then guitar and tutoring
Thursday - singing and WrapAround advocacy
Friday - Wraparound at our house at 4:00 pm

Once a month, there is a psychiatrist appointment which has appointments only during before 2pm, so I have to take off time. In addition, there are monthly orthodontist appointments which I usually schedule after 4:30 pm.

Luckily, my mom just retired and she helps out a lot with driving. I am not with an agency, because I was the former Big Sister for my FD. I don't know if agencies help out with this.

It is very hard.

[Yash]

Thanks for the insight ca-bigsister.

[WhoKnew]

I am not a single parent, but here's my two cents. You would probably do better fostering school age kids, as that would minimize the day care costs as well as the amount of time the child is in day care. Good luck!

[Yash]

I've thought about that, but I feel it's important that my son remain the oldest in the home and I'm not sure I'm equipped to deal with the issues that an older child might have.

[SheldeMuse]

My son's FM had him from 10 months to 22 months. She worked full time, so he was in daycare 9 - 10 hours per day. The workers came and saw him at daycare, or took him to a visit. It seems that once you're taking care of the little one, you can just firmly say "no" to taking time off work, if it doesn't work for you.

[Yash]

Thanks, SheldeMuse. Based on the posts here, I was beginning to suspect that the agencies play hard ball in the beginning but once the child is in your home do what they can to help.

[vernellinnj]

I have had 2 placements. D, 2 years old, was with me for over 6 months. I never facilitated his visits - his caseworker picked him up from daycare and returned him to daycare. It was not a problem for me or the child (though I guess only he can truly say that).

K,21 months, I just got last week. It will likely be a long placement (perhaps even adoption). I told the caseworker (before taking the placement) that I could not facilitate visits during the day. It was no problem.

FYI - DYFS paid $155/week toward his daycare. I had to pay a co-pay as the place that I chose (and came to love) was more than that amount.

Best wishes.

[Singlemom619]

As you can see from my post I'm a single mom too. I fostered my son before I adopted him. I am also a school teacher so it was easy for me since he was in school when I was working. I have meetings once in awhile after school - when he was in Foster care he had a worker that would hang out with him during my meetings (he was a "special needs" child so he got extra time with workers) now that he's adopted he plays outside the meeting room or he stays in my classroom and watches TV during my meetings.

I get out of school early enough to take him to his appointments - therapy, vision therapy ect. I've had to take off work a couple times for different appointments - but not too much.

Your level of support depends on your agency. County workers don't do much (I was even supervising my son's visits for about 6 months). GOOD agencies will help out with transportation and such as long as it's not every day.

I've thought about leaving teaching a couple times - NOT because I don't like to teach but because I hate the politics of my district - but I realize that if I do I don't think there is any way I can afford to pay someone to help me get my son to or from school or for daycare/camp during his vacations while I'll be working. So instead of quitting, I'm trying to move across the country where the politics aren't as bad as here

I second the idea that you might have to go with an older child. How old is your son? If he's in kinder you could wait for a child in preschool, if he's in 1st you could get one in kinder... If your child is in daycare now I wouldn't think having one more child in the same daycare would be that much harder.

My son wants me to foster/adopt (or biologically) another child because he wants a brother (course he wants one that's his age or older - and no girls) and I keep thinking about it because I know it can't be THAT much harder having two than it is having him back when he had so many issues. But I'm taking a break to give him a chance to settle in a little more (and me a chance to possibly date)

[Yash]

Vernelini,

Wow! NJ pays for daycare? I've been on waiting lists for almost 18 months trying to get help with daycare. It's nice to know the SWs do help out with visits.

Thanks.

[Yash]

Singlemom619,

You're right one more in daycare wouldn't kill me. When I talked to the recruiter at my agency, it sounded like I was completely responsible for making sure my foster child got to all of his or her visits, which would be impossible during the week for me to do.

I posted because I wanted to see how other families handled visits. My son is 17 months old and I've alerted his day care worker that sometime in the near future she could be adding another baby to her roster.

Thanks.

[BCFD]

If you are fostering an infant, toddler, pre-schooler, there is also the Head Start Program. It's free and foster children qualify for something insane like 10 hours a day!! You can Google California Head Start to find a program near you. I'm a SAHM to two adopted children through the CA foster care system and both qualify. We haven't started yet, but people that know about this program swear by it!!

[straightblues]

Originally Posted by Yash

I'm thinking about doing foster care for infants, but I work full time. I was wondering how you manage getting your foster kids to their visits and work full-time?

Thanks,

Yash

You just don't do it becuase you don't have time. You won't be fostering them, day care worker or baby sitters will be.

Let them go to people that can be there to take care of them. Sorry but remember what is the most import thing here is what is in the best interest of the Children.

Also, there are a lack of infants in the system in Los Angeles. There are more two parent families with stay at home mothers that want them. Don't ruin with childs chance of finding a loving two parent home with a stay at home mother or father.

Sorry in adavance if you don't like my answer. I am sure it wasn't what you wanted to hear.

[Yash]

Straightblues,

You are entitled to your opinion so I'm not offended.

I don't know if there are a shortage of babies in the LA system. I was just told by my agency that they were in desperate need of foster parents because everyone only wanted to be fost/adopt parents and very, very few wanted to do straight fostering. Also my agency told me that they don't have tons of families willing to take black, hispanic or biracial boys. All of whom, I would openly welcome into my homes.

I've had two calls for babies, both newborns, since I added my name to the list of foster parents.

In a great world, all the kids in foster care would be placed in a two family home where the mom was a stay-at-home, but sometimes the world isn't that great. And in a truly great world, these kids wouldn't be in the system but at home with their birth parents. Unfortunatley that's not the case either. So the best the system can do is place the children in homes where they hope and pray the kids will be loved and well taken care of and sometimes that's in two parent homes, where both parents are working, or two parent homes, where only parent is working, or single parent homes.


Yash

Originally Posted by straightblues

You just don't do it becuase you don't have time. You won't be fostering them, day care worker or baby sitters will be.

Let them go to people that can be there to take care of them. Sorry but remember what is the most import thing here is what is in the best interest of the Children.

Also, there are a lack of infants in the system in Los Angeles. There are more two parent families with stay at home mothers that want them. Don't ruin with childs chance of finding a loving two parent home with a stay at home mother or father.

Sorry in adavance if you don't like my answer. I am sure it wasn't what you wanted to hear.

[Singlemom619]

Yash that was a great response. I WAS offended by that person AND the funny thing is my son doesn't have day care or babysitters now - and the only time I had someone else helping me was when he had therapists and social workers that were court ordered to spend a certain amount of time with him so I had to let them (and we just arranged it to be at times when I had meetings for work anyway)...

I'm sorry - but I don't think that all 2 parent homes are better than 1 parent homes. I was raised by a single mother, and while she wasn't 100% great, I am trying to do better than she did AND I know it would have been worse if my parents had stayed together. I know many kids who've come from single parent homes and turned out amazing.

While I sort of see the persons point that an INFANT would be spending a lot of time with a day care person and those are developmental years ect ect - if the child is in school they HAVE to spend that many hours away from a parent in order to get their education so I don't see anything wrong with a parent working during those years....

(Not saying it's wrong with working during the infant years either - I can see why isn't "bad" and why it's "good"...)

Anyway... Yash - I think you replied much better than I would have - that response sounded very judgemental and biased in my opinion - but maybe my opinion is biased against that person... whew... I'll shut up now.