[Deanne W]

I don't know what I'm up against with this one. I was matched with 6yr. old & 8yr. old girls. They have had 4 visits with me. Everything going well. Girls are looking forward to more visits and coming to live me. Suddenly, the Foster parents have contacted their SW & attorney claiming the girls don't want to continue the visits. I was warned that these parents had sabotaged a previous placement. The county is backing me up & is trying to move the girls.

[Singlemom619]

Before I was in the picture my son's first foster placement claimed he was "unadoptable" and created all kinds of stories about him. This went on his perm. record and if I hadn't gone to the judge and said I wanted to adopt he would have stayed in the system until he was 18 (this was told me to me by the county.) The woman had him for 1.5 years and was emotionally and physically abusive to him. I didn't know him until after he was removed from her home over 2 years ago. I recently read the paperwork and the allegations she made against my son which were THE reason why he was never put up for adoption - and it's documented that EVERY allegation she made the county knew wasn't true because they had spoken to his teacher and other people who were around during the alleged incidents and found out the foster mom was lying...

While this woman didn't prevent ME from adopting she did prevent anyone else from adopting because she was the cause of him being classified as unadoptable..

I think I'm rambling on a bit here - hope it made some sense.... I'm trying not to give away TOO many specifics about my son's past...

[SheldeMuse]

I hope it isn't common, but foster parents cause grief in the adoptive placement frequently enough that it was covered in the training in our county.

My son's foster mom refused to participate in the transition at all. I only got information on habits, preferences and rituals 2nd hand through the SW - as the worker was delivering him and a carload of stuff to our house at 8 pm!

The foster mom may have hoped to adopt him, thinking no placement would be found for him with his sister. She didn't say the visits weren't going well, but she pulled everything she could think of to make it difficult for us and to cut them short. Later I find out this woman is a child therapist! One of the social workers finally told me after the foster mom had pursued de facto parent status at the children's TPR and was trying to get court-ordered visitation.

So the sad result is that our son is not likely to have any ongoing contact with someone he really loved.

[sfbaymom2000]

M's foster mom also refused to assist in the transition. She was unwilling to give any info about M's routine, preferences, habits, etc. She blatantly ignored requests by SW to put M into the carseat in our car - to show M that she trusted us. When I picked M up for good, the fmom suggested we get together at a park some time. I said, 'Oh, sure" but inside I was thinking, "Yeah, right!". Fortunately, she does not have our address ro phone number. M tells me that she had thought they were going to adopt her, and she didn't want to live there. Anyway, sorry to ramble. Hope your situation improves.