[vtorres]

Hey all,

I have watched this forum on and off for a while now and my partner and I are in process of getting fost-adopt certified.

I wanted to say that all of your stories and experiences have really helped us realize what we are in store for and the possibilities that could happen for us.

We are in San Francisco and are working with the SF Child Project (in conjunction with Oakland's Black Adoption). Would love to hear from others who have used the services here in SF and maybe get some inside information on what worked for placement besides just patiently waiting!

We are in out 3rd week of MAPP classes (only one more left- they accellerated the 10 classes into 4 eight hour days) and are on the verge of starting the home study.

It's all so exciting and scary at the same time.

Can't wait to hear more and can't wait to add to the lively discussions!

Thanks!

Victor & Tony

[Faulkner99]

Congratulations to you and best of luck! Please keep us updated on your progress.

[vtorres]

so, the classes are over and we had four social worker visits. during that time our home study was being created.

mid-december our social worker will be calling us to review the final document of the home study. then it's off to the "powers that be" for approval. after that we move into matching.

our social worker said she has already been looking for kids for us. she said that we will be matched quickly because of the risk we're up for and the possibility of concurrent planning.

all i can say is thank goodness the holiday season has started! my partner and i are christmas freaks and go hog wild decorating the house. it's a good diversion and keeps our minds occupied. oy! the wait!

thanks for listening!

victor

[Faulkner99]

Thanks for the update Victor, and best of luck to you guys. It feels like just yesterday I was in MAPP class, but it's been over a year.

[MMC66]

This must be really exciting for you guys. I watch the fostering forums pretty closely because we plan to do foster care or even foster/adopt once the kids we already have get a little older. I'm looking forward to your updates!!

Martha

[frida_94601]

Hello V-Torres, My name is Lillian I live in the East Bay (Oakland Ca) I am going through A Better Way in Berkeley, CA. So far its been great I am in the final stages!!!! My homestudy will be complete tomorrow!!!!!!!! Its been rough, I started my maap classes in October and had all the requirments done by the beginning of November!!!! I will be foster adopting as well. I have a bio child 11yrs old and will be adopting f-3-9. Please let me know how it goes!!!!!!!
Best,
Lillian

[vtorres]

that's great lillian!

i think we get to see our homestudy next week. we can't wait!

have a great holiday and good luck.

victor

[frida_94601]

Hello Victor,

did you get a copy of your homestudy yet? keep me posted!!!!

Lillian

[vtorres]

Hi,

Our social worker said she is getting it together this week so it looks like we'll see our home study by the first week of January.

From what she told us about the child search, she thinks we'll have to go out of county to find the one we want. The way they run it is you search in your own county for 3 months. If no match is made, then they go out to the surrounding 15 counties. So we are figuring that we won't begin the matching process until March or April, which is actually fine. We are busy trying to save up as much sick and vacation time so we can use our entire 12 weeks off and get paid.

I'll keep you all posted!

Victor

[SHA]

Hi Victor et all,

My husband and I are also done with training but we can not start the homestudy until we get a friend to do the finger printing to be a respite provider. This has turned out to be the biggest hassle. Since most of our friends are parents to young children (just like us) its hard to get them to fill in the paperwork.

Our agency (AASK in Oakland) says that even when the paperwork is in we will have to wait a month or more to get started on our homestudy. I guess they are under staffed.

Guess that means we'll do the homestudy in February and be open to matching by early March.

Sharon

[kmh112960]

Hi! We adopted our baby girl through Alameda County. She's at least half AA, not sure of her birth father. We also took the MAPP classes. Hope things go quickly for you guys! What ages are you looking for?

Kathy

[vtorres]

Well, we finished the Home Study and our social worker gave it to her supervisor. The supervisor had some problems with it (GULP) and now we are meeting with the social worker tomorrow (Jan 19) to try to fix the problems. At least the "problems" are fixable. Oy, the stress!

To answer Kathy's question, we are looking for a boy, latino or latino mix, newborn to one year. We are also open to siblings in the newborn to 3 year age.

I'll let you all know how tomorrow goes...

Victor

[sfbaymom2000]

Hi Victor,

I am in the Bay Area also. As you probably know, you'll increase your chances of being matched sooner if you can widen your criteria a bit. Maybe you can consider up to 4 or 5? Maybe caucasian and/or biracial?

I would suggest you read Toddler Adoption, The Weaver's Craft. It can be scary, but that is a good thing. You want to be prepared as possible. Some people think that kids under two or three will not have issues. My daughter came to us at three and has a younger sib in another adoptive family. Both have relatively serious emotional issues, but are doing very well with therapy and a loving environment.

Good luck. Hope you don't have to wait too long.

[vtorres]

Hi SFBayMom! (and everyone else!)

So, we met with the social worker and and the "problem" was our casual drug use years ago. Not that it would disqualify us, but she just wanted to be sure that it was in the past and not something that we do now (which we don't nor ever would do again with having children). But it should be a lesson to us all that sometimes the choices you make, even when you were young and silly could come back and bite you in the butt.

The good news is that we talked it out and fixed what needed to be fixed and are still moving forward.

UNTIL...

We got a call from our social worker a week ago telling us:

1. That she is quitting her job. sigh... I know that this happens a lot in the "business" but now we have to start a new relationship with a new social worker.

2. She handed in our finalized home study and we have been "highly recommended" to be parents. Since she's now leaving, the director of the group is taking our case.

So, I guess thats about it for now. Now we just have to wait for our baby to be born!

SFBayMom - Our social worker said that we shouldn't have a problem with our criteria because we are open to all risk factors except alcohol and we are even open to having a HIV+ child. I guess time will tell, but we are also open to biracial. We figure (or rather - hope) that we'll be matched by the summer or fall.

Thanks for checking in!

[sfbaymom2000]

Our SW also kind of made a big deal about an incident from 20 years ago in my husband's past. Turns out it did not even go into the homestudy. You have to remember that even though you feel like you are being put through the ringer and it seems like they are looking for reasons to exclude you, they really do need homes for these kids. They don't really want to refject prospective parents; they just need to be thorough for the childrens' sake. Too bad bio parents don't have to

Actually, I think you are right. If you are willing to take high risk placements (more risk of returning to bfamily) and HIV, I bet you will be matched quickly. Our SW actually asked us about taking an infant, but we wanted 2-5 years old, very low risk (and we got that).

Have a good day!