[BUDDYSCOOTER]

When attending fostering/adoption classses, every one is told there are more waiting children than there are homes available. This seems to be especially true for sibbling sets and minority children. The social workers even present numbers to show the high number of children available and there is a sense of urgency to have everyone complete all the classes and licensing requirements.

Reality hits after meeting all the requirements and it seems to be universal with many people trying to adopt, a long long wait.
Maybe I'm just too eager or impatient, but many seem to have the same feelings I do. Where are all the waiting children?
I am going throught the county program.

Wating in Riverside County

[sonni]

I am sure you have heard this before.......
Where are the waiting children? Who is the waiting child?

He is an 8 year old African American child who has behavior and emotional special needs, he also has a brother and a sister that he can't bare to be seperated from.

She is 10 years old non-ambultory bi-racial child diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and mental retardation.

They are a sibling group of 5, the youngest is 2yrs old, the oldest is 16 yrs old. They need a forever home that will accept them all.

I don't know the criteria you have for an adoptive child, so I am not directing this post to you personally. I did some research and found out that out of the 110 "waiting" adoptive families in my county, the majority are waiting for one caucasian girl 0 to 3 years old. with no medical issues. These families will wait 2 to 5 years for placement.

I understand how you feel....We are waiting also. Sonni

[willowhawk]

sonni...I totally agree with you....after adopting my first two boys, I thought it would be nice to have another girl in the family, as I had only 1 birthdaughter and now 5 sons. There were no girls to be found. It seems that girls are at a premium. everyone wants them. Also, everyone wants babies. I definately realize that babies come with much less emotional baggage, but there is no way I'd trade my older kids for the world. I adopted the first two boys at 7 and 9. The second two, a boy and girl, at 8 and 10 and the last, my bonus baby at 2. He was the younger brother to the 8 and 10 year old. Children that come through Social Services, usually come with emotional baggage, but they NEED homes also. Yes, they may have problems, mine did, but it has been well worth it. They are now 17, 16, 151/2, 15 and 8. They are all doing extremely well. I'm not saying that we haven't had our share of ups and downs, I could go on forever telling everyone. But, they are my world, they are my life along with my 4 bio kids!!! Also, after finishing my MAPP classes and my homestudy, I was matched with my first two boys within a month!

[colleyml]

i know what you mean. i met all the requirements for it and nothing. have been waiting a long time i guess a little longer won't hurt. be patient because the right one is out there just trying to find your heart.



good luck!!!

[sonni]

One thing I would like to comment on.....We were told in our PRIDE class that very young children (infants and toddlers) are few in the county/state adoption program so, if you really would like to be considered for one you should be open to a sib set or group. Often times an older child will have a baby sibling. I caution this approach unless your heart is truly in to it for the right reason. Don't accept the sibs just because you want the baby. The older child will feel this and suffer.

You can adopt a baby from the state but, yes, the wait will be long. We waited 2 years for our son. He came home at 8 weeks old. He is now 3 and we are waiting to adopt again. Sonni

[acgh2003]

Hi sonni How are you?

I am also adopting fromSB county, to me I would wait as long as I had to to get our children. I look forward to the day I bring them home. I know it will happen one day and hopefully with in the year. Best wishes to everyone and keeps your spirits up. Keep us posted on your placements.... Crissy

[tuttles2003]

This morning our friends from our Pride class got "the call"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They called me this morning bright and early to tell me the news. This is the first placement for our class. It is very exciting. It is a baby boy!!! It was for a child of another race so my family would not have been up for it. I am so happy for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This family that got the call chose this day for us on getting a call so it was really funny. We all mark days on the calender that we think the call will come in. The family figured that they would be waiting 3 years little did they know................

[sonni]

wonderful new for this family! I wonder how old? Do you know, Tuttles? What a blessing.

[tuttles2003]

THE BABY BOY IS JUST A FEW MONTHS OLD. MY FRIEND DOES NOT WANT ME TO POST REALLY ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SHE IS A VERY PRIVATE PERSON. I TOLD HER SHE HAS TO SHARE HER SON WITH US...LOL.

[bumpkin]

Tuttles - that seems fair!

Bumpkin

[sonni]

I understand the family's need for privacy and totally respect that.

Adoption does happen and it will happen for all of us that are still waiting. Gods blessing to that family Sonni

[sfbaymom2000]

I am new to this board and to the foster/adopt process. I've read alot about the fact that many people want a healthy, caucasian girl from 0-3, and that not many are available. My husband and I have a 6 year-old biological daughter. We are looking for a girl from about 3-6 years old, either caucasian or hispanic, without severe physical and mental disabilities. Does anyone have a feel for whether this is realistic? Do you think there are at least more children in this category than the 0-3 age range? We are in Contra Costa County, CA. We'll be attending a couple of orientations soon, but I am curious what other people have experienced.

[tuttles2003]

I feel the wait is the same for 0-3 or 0-6. We are 0-6 even would consider a 7 year old caucasion or biracial boy/girl and have been waiting over 1 year from after being licensed. Only 3 out of 13 couples in my Pride class have been placed. Two have been placed with babies. The thing is that there are over 100 couples waiting in my COunty (SAN BERNARDINO) and there is a lot of competition between families. It seems like getting chosen is like winning the lottery. I suggest you start the process asap. When there are 50 couples that are requesting the same type of child and only one family can be chosen the odds are not so great. We have been up for a few children but we never get chosen. I wish you much luck!

[BUDDYSCOOTER]

It's so hard to be patient sometimes, especially for something so life changing as adoption. Any amount of time seems too long, but before your know it you will get the call. We got the call 3 weeks ago and now we have a beautiful set of siblings, a boy and a girl (twins).

Now another wait begins. The wait for permanacy. I think this wait is even more heartrenching. Parental rights are scheduled to be terminated soon, however, they can still apeal and so many other things can happen. So the wait continues.

Good luck to everyone and believe me you will get the call before you know it.

[tuttles2003]

GREAT NEWS WOW TWINS!! BUDDYSCOOTER, HOW LONG DID YOU HAVE TO WAIT FROM THE TIME YOU SIGNED OFF ON YOUR HOMESTUDY?