[RhondaVoos]

Hi Sonni,
Although I have been registered here a long time, I have no idea how to check for private message, will check that out as soon as done here. Would LOVE some support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will email you asap.

Chrissy- we were approved in March 03 and got our placement in May 03, no long wait at all. BUT we asked for sibling group, not a long list for that.

Naive...let me count the ways......we never questioned the rosy picture painted by DCS. It was rosy compared to reality anyway. I would not change my mind if I had it to do over again, but it has been 11 months since the kids were placed (Steven 5, and Darlene 7) and we were just given a clue about RAD. That in my mind is 11 months I could have used instead of thinking that love would be enough. Thank god that I stumbled onto Love and Logic. It saved my sanity and my adoption. I have been debilitated with hives most days since placement from the stress, but am getting a handle on that too. My Steven is attending school on his own at last, Darlene is caught up to grade level after our being told that she should have repeated kindergarten. We have come miles and miles, but still have miles to go. WOuld love to have someone learn from my experience and to have someone to learn from. Hope you all had a great day.

Rhonda

[acgh2003]

HI Yes its not a long list now either out of 105 families with our placement worker only 5 will take a sibling group and we are one of the 5. Our worker was very happy when she read our file she said that not many people are as open as we are, she said when you already have children it makes a difference on the chances you are willing to take. I just imagine my children with these conditions I could never turn my back on them and I won't for these children either. I am holding my breath and praying we will have a placement soon. We are wanting a little girl 0-3 yrs with mild to moderate conditions and we will take a sibling group. I was very shocked at the number of families that will not take a sibling group. My heart can't help but be there for these children. I would never want my children seperated and would do anything to keep children together.I wish we could have taken the 4 posted on the CA Kids connection but we are only licensed for 2. And we have two biological boys of our own that would be overload on our part. Although I thought about it! I always wish I can do more.... I pray we get placed soon as well....Its nice to meet soemone who has been placed quikly. We where licensed on the 28th of JAn and our homestudy signed on the 22 of March and in the system on the 23. I am keeping my fingers crossed. you can email me any time.

[sonni]

We met our new daughter today. Her 4th birthday was 5 days ago so we gave her a birthday gift. A yellow Care Bear that she loved and hugged. She is even more beautiful than her photograph the social workers shared with us at the presentation meeting. This is probably the most emotional thing I have ever experienced. I wish that when she comes to our family......all the bad things she has been through could be lost and forgotten forever. But, I know this is not possible. God has chosen us to be her forever family. He has a plan and I will trust him, for he has entrusted us and blessed us 1000 times over.

[sfbaymom2000]

Sonni,

Congratulations on finding and meeting your daughter! I hope the same will happen for us. We are hoping for a girl from 2-5 (3 or 4 years old would be perfect). I hope you don't mind if I ask you a few questions. How long did you wait for your placement? Are you in Contra Costa County by any chance? I am so excited every time I hear that there are girls in this age range out there...that are not part of a sibling group. Does your daughter have any birth siblings? And will she be having visitation with any birth family? I don't men to sound nosy, just trying to get a better idea of what to expect. Congratulations again!

Lynn

[sonni]

Hi Lynn, We are in San Bernardino County. We were matched a couple of times after waiting only 2 and 4 months. The first time the foster mom changed her mind and could not give up the child. The second time we were matched a relative came forward. Neither one of these matches made it to presentation time.....so that was good. This time we were matched with our soon to be daughter (just turned 4) about 7 months after home study approval. She is medically fragile and special needs. We have to have special medical training before she can come home. until then we get to visit her every other day. Good luck with your search......they will find you, Sonni

[acgh2003]

Congragulations again I can only imagine how many emotions you are experiencing right now I am so happy for you. I hope we to will soon follow your footsteps to the presentation meeting. Good luck with everything and may you feel gods blessing over and over again each time you look into your daughters eyes.
Congragulations Crissy

[sonni]

Thanks Crissy, Your next!.......We saw our soon to be daughter yesterday. We took her to the park. It was so fun! She likes to blow bubbles. We took lots of pictures, of course. She pointed to every man she saw at Mc Donalds and said, "that's not my Daddy" then, when she saw my husband coming in the glass doors back from a trip out to the car she yelled out "there's my Daddy" Our hearts melted. Crissy, don't forget to make a cute photo album for your kids. The foster parents will share the pictures with the child/children every day. This really helps. I think even a child as young as 2 months old would benefit from it.
Our daughter has had her photo album for a week now and she points to each member of the family and tells their names.

Brittney Paige just turned 4 and will be home soon!, Sonni

[acgh2003]

How wonderful that is, she sounds like such a precious little gir. You are so blessed!!! Well keep us posted. Best wishes to your family....... Sincerely Crissy

[CoolDonna]

Hello Windhancer,(hope i spelled it right)
Iam so happy to hear that there is someone else that is single fostering. Iam hoping to adopt my fg Does it make it harder to adopt if you are single.
Donna

[acgh2003]

I started this journey hoping to adopt from this state and unfortunately reality hit me today with my worker. My husband and I have recieved governemnet orders to be reassigned to Ft Stewart GA. Well as my worker as so nicely put I will probably not be placed before I leave nor can I try to inquire about children I may be interested in on the CA Kids connection in other counties.
I called GA Social Services Dept and found out their special needs children are above the age of 8 or in sibling sets of 3 or more. I am very frustrated with this process and can not understand it at all. If there are so many children out there who need families why am I isolated to one county and if the county has given up on placing me why can I not try else where. And why is it taking so long when they told us we were a wonderful resource and we would get alot of referrals . I just feel like we were being told these things and then nothing is happeing. I only know of one or two referrals. What is happeing here? We have to report to Ga by August luckily they will except our training but they have a lower amount of children in their system and a longer wait. I am so frustrated with the way the system works. We are ready to take and love a child or sibling set but we are limited on our options. What do we do? My placement worker said"It would look bad on her if she called up another county and said I have a couple who is interested in your child but they are leaving in 2 months. " She said she was going to continue to refer us but Can I trust her to do exactly that. She does not even want to consider sending us to outside counties why would she refer us for her own? I am confused. We were also told that if we moved that the child would just move with us and they would transfer them to the county or state we moved to. Why now are things changing? Now all the sudden we are not a good resource. I really am disappointed and ready to give up.

[sonni]

Crissy, I think I might know what they are thinking. When you are placed with a child from the fost/adopt program, these children are not legally free. Most of them are still having regular visits with their birth families. Granted, most of the time TPR is in the works or they would not have been placed with prospective adoptive families. The birth family has a legal right to visit their child until the court terminates parental rights. It would be very difficult to have visits if the child was taken out of state. Sometimes termination does not happen for 6 months or more. Longer if the birth family contests. Ask the placement coordinator if they will consider your family for children that are already TPR or perhaps the relinquishment program. I do think there are not many children available who are TPR because it is California policy to not create legal orphens. Generally TPR is done after an adoptive family has been identified. If you are not placed before you move, don't worry. You can send out your home study for any child in the USA foster care system. Your child will find you. Take care, Sonni

[treschicas]

Just jumping in here...My husband and I are fostering to adopt in San Diego County. We were placed w/ a 3 mos old and 9 yr old sibling set. We actually had the baby first, and her sib came to join us a month later...you never know what you really are wanting to take on until you are faced w/ it sometimes. We wanted one 0-3 yr old and very open to race/gender/drug exposed etc. It just so happens we were placed w/ a perfectly healthy, beautiful blue eyed baby girl. She had been w/ us a month when her sister entered the system and we had her join our family as well. She is amazing and we love her and the baby as if they're our own. So we went from 1 (our 6 yr old bio child) to a family w/ 3 kids in one month. I'm happy to say that the TRP hearing is next month and should go off w/ out a hitch (hopefully). The bio mom is very supportive of us adopting her girls. She is homeless and pretty much gave them up voluntarily. We've been very fortunate in this regard. We've had the girls for 7 and 8 months, and have had about 4 sporatic visit total over this period of time. They have all been very pleasant. So, as we all know... anything can still happen...but it's looking good! We recieved de facto parent status today. The girls SW says hopefully the adoption can be finalized this Fall.
As far as our timeline, our Home Study was approved 6/03 and the baby joined our family 10/03. We were so lucky! Our SW said it would probably be a year and a half, so of course we totally unprepaired to take a baby 4 months later. We weren't complaining though, and so far, it looks like this was all meant to be.
Thanks for letting me share our story!
treschicas

[sfbaymom2000]

treschicas,

Congratulations...it sounds like everything is going great for your family! We also have a 6 year-old bio daughter, and are looking for a girl from 2-5 years old (our daughter is almost 7). That is great that you were able to take the 9 year-old as well...I know we would not be able to. We are nervous enough about adding one child to the family! Hope we are as lucky as your though, as far as not waiting too long. Good luck!

Lynn

[mrbeansmom]

Congratulations! What an exciting time for all of you!

We're an adoptive family in San Diego too. We are in the process of fostering three and planning (hoping) to adopt two of them. One of them has significant special needs and behavioral issues that really prevent us from keeping that one. It has been recommended by Children's Hospital and even the adoption worker that, for the other children's safety and sake we don't keep that one. My wish is that this little one would find a home where s/he can be the only child as the needs of this individual really require and deserve one to one attention. It's a heartbreaking situation at best.

The other two are nowhere close to TPR. Well, one is scheduled, but I'm not expecting it to go forth at this point. Adopting through the county is a long and stressful process. The blessing is so worth it, but the journey is rough! The not knowing if it's even going to go through is pure torture for months.........

[tuttles2004]

HANG IN THERE. OURS TOOK FOREVER IN SAN BERNARDINO COUNTY. WE GOT A HEALTHY CAUCASION BABY BOY SOMETIME AGO. I JUST FIGURED I WOULD LOOK AT THE BOARD AND SEE WHO WAS STILL WAITING. PEOPLE FORM MY PRIDE CLASS ARE STILL WAITING. COUNT THE WAITING TIME FROM THE TIME THAT YOUR HOMESTUDY WAS APPROVED BY YOUR SOCIAL WORKERS SUPERVISOR. OURS TOOK MONTHS FOR THAT TO HAPPEN. TO ACTUALLY BECOME AN ADOPTION RESOURCE. WE WERE SIGNED UP TO 7 YEARS OLD BOY/GIRL AND WOULD ACCEPT SOME HEALTH RISKS. WE WERE SO HAPPY TO GET A BABY. HE IS BEAUTIFUL. HANG IN THERE YOURS WILL COME SOON!!