[RichardandJudy]

Hi everyone,

We have been foster parents through Alpha Treatment Center for about 1 year. We foster children from birth to 3 or 4 years old. Recently we had a baby boy placed with us who was only 1 month old. We have had him for almost 2 months now, and the social worker tells us that his mother won't get him back, and that they are unsure about whether the baby's dad is really the "bio" dad. He doesn't want to take the paternity test, which leaves any of his family ineligible to take the baby. The baby has really bonded with us, and us him. Is there any way, chance, possibility that we might be able to adopt him? Does the "system" take any of this(infant bonding) into account? Or is it just an automatic process thats out of our control? Are there legal alternatives outside of the "system? We haven't taken any classes through the county to become adoptive parents, but it sounds like it's all the same stuff we had to do through Alpha Treatment Center to become foster parents. Thank you for your responses, and God Bless!

[Svnup2003]

I would say that most states prefer the foster parents become the adoptive parent if the child gets freed. there is a bond already established. We are in NY and if you have a child 12 months or more you are already considered first if the child is freed. I would look into what you have to do to get your ducks in a row to adopt so if it takes some time you have it happening before its an issue. Good luck and keep me posted. I have adopted thru foster care twice and twice privately.

faith

[DianeS]

Foster parents adopt the children in their care all the time. To the best of my knowledge, no states in the USA have laws barring that from happening. (Don't know where you live, though.)

HOWEVER. The "system" has to go through all it's steps. Who the parents are has to be determined. The case plans for the parents have to be completely and totally and obviously failed. Parents' rights have to be terminated by a court. Relatives who show up out of the woodwork have to be checked out.

Then the state's policies go into effect. Are foster parents given first chance at adopting, or not? Does the infant automatically go to the first waiting couple on the adoptive parents waiting list, or not? Does the amount of time the baby is with you change any of those?

Then the agency policies: Does your agency even handle adoptions, or could you change agencies and still keep the child? Are you certified as potential adoptive parents? (Similar approval process or not, you'd need "approved as potential adoptive parents" certification to have any decent chance.)

At this point, there is no reason to even attempt to go outside the "system". Work within it if you can, so that you can continue to foster or adopt children from them if you so choose. The first step is probably asking your caseworker the questions you asked here. If you don't have a good relationship with her, you might be able to call their main telephone number and ask these questions as if you were a newbie considering using their agency. Hopefully your agency does what you're asking and there won't be a problem.

Good luck!

[kidfinder]

Yes, of course. You have to request that your foster license be changed to what is known as "Concurrent Planning" family. I did it and it is very easy to do. I am an adoptive man working with Contra Costa County and it took less than a couple of days.

[RichardandJudy]

Can you give me more details on the concurrent planning family. Is that something we do through the county, or through our foster care agency? Since I posted the first post yesterday I found out that the baby is scheduled to go to a concurrent family after the first of the year. Does that mean it's to late for us to be considered?


Thanks!

[kwene2421]

It all depends on the county you are in. I am in a similar situation. I brought the baby boy home from the hospital when he was 4 days old. that was 6 months ago. I am having issues with the County, they are telling me I am only a foster home (doesn't matter that I am in process of being a fost-to -adopt home) and that they have a waiting list of adoptive County homes for all newborns and infants that they strictly go by for adoptions.

There is a Welfare Institution Code (366.26) that states foster parents get priority after
1) blood relatives,
2) any siblings that have been adopted out
3) if the child has been in your home for @ least 4 months
4) there is substanial emotional ties to the foster parent would be seriously detrimental to the child's well-being

I wish you the best of luck
Please keep us informed.

[vbandsf]

Be really careful when they say "The mother won't get them back". We were assured of that repeatedly and now, even after we've had a TPR (termination of parental rights) with a no contact order, the birth mtr has filed a petition with the court to reinstate her rights.

According to what we've now been told, she really won't succeed, but it's delaying the process and adding to everyone's heartache - especially the kids. Also, there's a remote chance she'll get it. I'll just be glad when it's over.

That said, I'd really, really encourage you to try! That little boy needs you from the sounds of things. Best of luck.

[Winddancer]

Hello,
I live in Central California. I am a Foster Mom for the county that i reside. We as Foster Parents have always been asked if we are willing to adopt the placement....sometimes when they bring the baby to us. In our Co. FP are ALWAYS given the option first!! I have had my little guy since he was 2 days old and we are at the end of the Adoption Process now. I started the Homestudy in August and the ** rights were Termed in Sept (after 3 con't.) but it finally happened. The Adoption will be final (I hope) by the end of March or 1st of Apr. I am a single Mom and not a Spring Chicken...hehe so i know it can be done!!
Good luck!!

[sharkey]

Winddancer,

Did you start your adoption home study after you got your son as a foster placement? I am in a similar situation. I'm single (although relatively still spring chickeny) and have had a baby boy since he was 8 days old. He's now 10 weeks. They are filing immediately for non-reunification and working towards tpr. I have told the cw and investigator from the atty office that I'm am interested in adopting him. The investigator said the fact that I did not have a completed adoption home study done should be no problem.

I'm a little concerned becasue I went to a training session last year on adopting your foster child (I'm hoping to adopt my 11yro fson too) and the adoption worker leading the training said that they will sometimes remove a child for placement in a home with a complete home study. This was not really a concern with my older fson but I want to make sure it doesn't happen with my baby especially since I am single and I'm sure there are waiting families.

[Winddancer]

Hi Sharkey,
I got my little boy in Nov 2002 and didn't start my HomeStudy until Aug 2003. They had to wait to begin my HS until the PRT. I did the first questioneer in Aug and then had to wait to proceed until Sept. when he was free and clear. In our county they send out to a private agency to do your HS and then once completed it goes back to the county and they finish the process. I had a very good worker that brought the release papers for me to sign in July to send to the Agency so that we could move on the HS as soon as the PRT. I had a slight delay because i bought another home and they had to wait until i was settled before completing the HS otherwise we would have been final by now. But things like that happen and since he has been with me the entire time i wasn't concerned about it!! Please feel free to e-mail me if you want Kwinddancer@comcast.net. Good luck and just remember that "good things come to those who wait"

Winddancer