[cartergr]

I know I should ask a lawyer about this, but we're in a delicate position, and it might hurt our case to consult a lawyer at this point...

What does CA Family law say when the Bio Parents disagree about the plan for their children.

We're foster parents to two beautiful girls. We hope to adopt children some day, but for now...

The girls' father is working toward reunification, and mostly fulfilling the court requirements... on the surface. We have serious concerns about his ability to adequately care for them, and his motivation for wanting them back.

The mother does not want to reunify. She has not fulfilled any of the court requrements thus far. She knows that she isn't capable of giving the girls the care they need and deserve. She does not believe the father is capable of caring for them and wants them adopted by a "middle-class two-parent family". She has communicated all of this to the court.

We will probably retain a lawyer at some point, but right now the father is accusing DSS and us of trying to "steal" his children. I'm afraid that if we engage a lawyer at this point it will give him grounds to complain. Any advise/experience would be greatly appreciated. Please reply to this post or PM us.

Thanks

[cartergr]

Originally posted by JuliannaTeresa
Family law, for California says. Until or unless Dad's Rights are terminated. both or either Dad and Dad's Family Members have a voice in the matter. If he is following his Reunification plan he will more than likely have the kids returned to him!

Professionally, it also sounds to me like Parenting classes were not ordered for Dad as a component of Reunification? Why?

99.44 % sure of this. Dad will bring either his Parents or a Sibling into the picture as a Support System in the eyes of the Court!

To hire an Attorney, at least one or both children would be asked by the Judge in Court to decide between you or Daddy! As Foster Parents, you are going to have to decide if you want to put them through this?

Julianna,

Thanks for your reply. Here is more information:

Parenting classes were ordered for Dad. One hour, every other week. He also has one four-hour visit every Sunday (his schedule and current living contidions prohibit more frequent or longer visits)

Dad's rights have not been terminated, nor have mom's. Mom's reunification services were terminated at her request. Dad's family all live out of state. He has no local support system. My main question is who's wishes will the court give more weight based on the law, mom or dad.

The girls are 19 months and 3 years old. You are correct, we would not put them through the pain of making a choice. We signed up as concurrent foster parents with the full understanding that reunification was the goal. If the court orders reunification, we will do everything possible to make the transition as easy as possible for the girls. We do all we can to make the visits a pleasant experience and we always treat the father with respect. We try to always remember that we're the big people and it's our responsibility to make this difficult situation as easy for the children as possible.

Thanks for your time and opinion.

[DianeS]

Actually, nobody's "wishes" matter at this point. Only actions. Since dad is doing things on his caseplan, if he continues and completes the case plan then the children will be returned to him.

The court will not consider the mother's wishes at all. She cannot place the children with some "middle class two-parent family" without the father's and the DFS's agreement. She cannot prevent the DFS from sending the children to their father if he completes the case plan.

Now, if neither parent completes the case plan (either voluntarially or accidentally), then different areas do things differently if one or both parents want a particular kind of adoptive family. Some DFS offices say OK, pick your family from our list or another agency approved list and that's fine. Some DFS offices say Tough, if you cared about the children you should've placed them before we became involved so we make the decisions now.

But as long as dad completes the case plan and mom doesn't, then mom has no say.

Keep us posted!

[cartergr]

Thank you everyone for your input.

We'll keep doing what we're doing and hope for the best.

Luckily we have a very concientous social worker and I'm sure that her recommendations will indeed be in the best interests of the kids. I'll let you know what happens