[Cipher Girl]

We have a possible foster/adoption situation come up. We are in the process of getting certified for foster care. A friend found out that we are getting certified and are interested in long term foster care or adoption. He mentioned that his sister-in-law basically abandoned her baby and they took the child in last year. Unfortunately due to financial difficulties, the wife's illness, and children of thier own, they were unable to keep the child. They put her into foster care. The child is about 2 years old.

The mother will get out of jail in November, and has already said that she "wants to leave town with her new man". It looks doubful that she will have any interest in the child and that long term care or adoption will be needed.

If the relatives want us to take the child in once we get licensed, what are our chances for becoming the child's foster parents? This is in Kern county. Does the county take what the relatives desire? We would prefer foster/adopt as the costs are much lower than adoption.

But until we are certified, we can't proceed any further. Any suggestions how this can be handled? What can our friends (the relatives) do to help us in the situation?

[samueljr4577]

Hi,
I am a foster parent and helped many children. I know how it feels when their is a child you want to help. Most likely the child that is motivating you to become a foster parent will not be the child you get.
I would first suggest talking to the child's county worker. Find out from the bio family who the worker is. The county worker makes the reccomendations for placement.
If you don't have your foster care liscense yet, the worker will state that you called to premature. But , it does not hurt to try.
The child might be in a foster home that already loves the child. If the placement is working out, the worker tends to not move the child. Becareful not to fall in love with the idea of having this child in your home.
The child in your head does not exist. But the child that is yours is right around the corner. The concept is kinda hard to understand until you start foster care.
Another tip: Make sure you know why you are becomming a foster parent. For exampe: To help abused and abandoned kids. Most foster parents have this reason. Just remember, the kids will come and go.
If you want to create a family, become a foster/adopt parent. This is a different liscense. (Although you still can adopt with just a foster care liscense. ) In this case the agency will find a placement to what your needs are as parents. You can be more specific in what type of child you are looking for. And the children placed with you will be legally free for adoption (most cases).
I learned the hard way. I was a foster parent but I loved being their dad. My heart was broken many times when they had to leave. I was fortunate to adopt my son.

Anyways try the county worker and see what he or she says. Hey you never know unless you try. If the bio family does not know the county worker, call the county office with the childs name and birth date. I sure someone will point you in the right direction.

By the way.... I did not pay a dime for my child's adoption. The county paid for it. The cost is usually if you adopt internationally or waiting for a pregnant mother to choose you to adopt their child. Talk to an adoption agency. Get your certification through them. Ask lots of questions..


Good luck

[DorothyMae]

We are 99% sure that we are going to begin doing a Foster Adoption. We will certainly need to do a lot of praying to get through it all. But if you have any advice, we'd love to hear it!
Thank you.
DM