I'm maternal grandma. My granddaughter is in foster care, and my daughter's rights are due to terminate. I want to adopt my granddaughter but I'm told that foster mom has first priority and that if she wants to adopt (which she says she does) then I really don't have any way to fight it. I'm in Mendocino County in northern Cal. Any advice??

[Sharon]

That's strange; I'm not familiar with the laws in your part of the country, but I believe that in many states, the biological relatives have priority when it comes to adopting... in fact Children's Services in many states goes to extreme lengths to try to keep bio-families intact. You would probably have to submit to a home study and be declared a "fit" guardian... but (just a guess), I imagine you DO have a chance at custody. I think you should contact a lawyer and get the ball rolling. I wouldn't put much stock in anyone who tells you, "There's no point in fighting, you don't have a chance." Only an attorney can tell you what your chances really are.
My personal opinion is that the purpose of foster care should be temporary guardianship of children while their bio-families have the opportunity to get their act together, with the goal of reunification with the biofamily if at all feasible, not to create a pool of available children for potential adoptive parents to draw from. I know several foster parents who have adopted, and they are wonderful parents and I have great admiration for them... but in their cases, there was no member of the bio-family who wanted custody of the children or was deemed by the state to be a fit custodian for them.
Contact a lawyer TODAY and find out what your options are... the initial consultation should be free of charge.
Best of luck to you.
~ Shar

[DianeS]

Different states have different laws. While it is true that the point of foster care is to allow bio-families to get their acts together, it is also true that a grandparent who allowed their granddaughter to be in a stranger's foster home instead of claiming her right away is not going to be looked on as favorably as a grandparent who stepped up to the plate and wanted the granddaughter in their home right away. All states do have a period of time in which bio family would be considered ahead of the foster family - many states also have a period of time that can elapse after which the family who currently is raising the child has more rights than bio family. Often that "switch" occurs at either a year of having the child in their care, or termination of parental rights, although some states have different times. Either way, every day you delay is a day that the case for leaving the child where she is becomes stronger.

If you were not told of your granddaughter's whereabouts, or had other extenuating circumstances, then it may be possible to get custody of her even if that time has expired. If you simply delayed because you didn't want to interfere until you were certain she was adoptable, then you might not be able to.

Either way, you need to follow the same steps as any other adoptive family. Notify your own Dept of Social Services of the situation and get certified as quickly as possible. That same day notify the child's caseworker of who you are, and your intent to claim her, why you delayed until now, and the fact that you have already begun the certification process.

Good luck!

[Dianna]

In our experience, as long as the bio mom or dad's rights have not been terminated, then the relatives are the first choice for adoptive placement. Once the parental rights are terminated, then the bio families lose their status. Let her social worker know that you want her, in writing by certified letter. Then they have to look at you before placing in a non-relative home. They have to do a homestudy for you. If they drag their feet, you will have a court case as you expressed interest prior to termination of parental rights. If you can afford a lawyer, that may help. If you are in the same state, that helps also. Best wishes and good luck.