[nubreedmom]

To any out there who are willing to listen and offer info (positive or negative) I thank you in advance

We are currently in the "matching process" of a fost-adopt with a private agency in the Los Angeles area that works with all counties in California. Although we went in expecting things to take time, I am shocked at how poorly the available child data base is organized. About 2 weeks ago I selected a number (13 or so) of possible matches from both the website and "the book" and have now heard that all but one of these have long been matched or placed. Apparently this is due to the lack of current info beign posted on the websites (many counties are discontinue use of them all completely ) and the slow out dated process it takes to put the photo books together and send them out. I understand there is a ton of info out there, but in this day and age I can't imagine that it would not be possible to organize a better, more efficent, computerized system that included at the very least weekly updates.

I am happy that the system is working (shockingly enough under the above circumstances) and these kids are no longer waiting for their forever families, but I am curious as to just how this "matching process" really works. Of course it goes to reason that families who have been waiting the longest should be offered available children first, but if this is the case, then why bother to find out what we are and are not willing to accept in a possible placement? We are very open as to what we are looking for - either sex, any race, age 6 or under, moderate emotional and/or developmental issues, drug exposure, family hist. of mental illness, physical delay and some handicaps, as well as willing to stay in touch with birth sibs, grandparents etc.. if need be. We also have much to offer, as I am currently a stay at home mom with a 6 year old in school full time. I have a back ground in early childhood development and we have a strong and close suppport group in family and friends most within 10 minutes of our home. I can not beleive that there is not at least one child out there every week that we could be matched with. As much as I hate to "toot my own horn" I feel that we are not even getting the opportunity to present all we have to offer, and if we did would it really be taken into consideration?

I know others have experienced this frustration and am not alone in this boat. If you have anything to offer, please do. I know our time will come and our child is out there, but... some days it's just harder than other to deal will all the waiting, red and tape and in many cases pure BS of the whole process. Today is one of those days and I am glad to have "friends" out there in times like these!

Best wishes to all in the journey to make and grow your families!!

[Waiting_Family]

Every month I go to our private agency, look at the books, and the website, and like you, find 10-15 kids....and this has been for the past 8 months. We are open to older kids, too. Nothing so far. And don't know why we weren't chosen, or even if we were looked at!!! We did just go to an adoption picnic, and while I had sworn I would not go to another one, this one went well with me and I clicked with a child, and our workers have been doing the email question match routine (think the Dating Game!!). We are hoping that this one works out, but with our past experience with the process, we are not getting our hopes up.

So, I feel your frustration, you are not alone. Where are all these kids, anyways???

[nubreedmom]

Thanks for the support! I KNEW I wasn't alone, but it's nice for someone else to let me know. At the end of your post you asked the same question I asked anyone who would listen last week... Where are all these kids they tell us about when we seek to adopt? They say there are not enough families, and yet there seem to be more families than kids? It is odd, and frustrating.

On a better note, I would love to learn more about the picnic you attended. How did you find out about it? My social worker has yet to mention any way other than going directly through her to find a match and I am eager to try some new avenues.

I wish you the very best of luck with the entire process and especially with the special child you recently connected with.

You too are not alone!

Warmly,
"Mom"

[Howdy]

I had a call today from a foster care recruiter asking to visit me and tell me about a contest they are having where the person who gets the most people to go to an orientation will win a hundred dollars. So naturally, since I had waited two and a half months to get my current placement, I asked 'is there a shortage of homes?'. She said there is always a shortage of everything. So I asked her why I had to wait, and she said because I am 'Legal Risk' so it takes longer to find a good match.

So I guess the kids are out there but adoptable ones (or even legal risk ones) are not so abundant.

It IS so frustrating to wait and wait when there are supposedly kids needing homes. Whenever I looked at the photo listings and photo books I'd get very depressed because there seemed to be so few kids and they had so many serious problems.

But the kids are almost always placed before they get to the stage of going onto photo listings. Neither of my placements had been listed, and the younger brother of one of them went onto a photo listing for a couple weeks but only after the county had tried for months to find him an adoptive home (he was already TPR'd).

[Waiting_Family]

Hi "Mom"!

I don't know where in California you are located, or what agency or county you are with.

We live in the Sacramento area, and have a private agency. Every month, sws from the counties and the private agencies get together, to make potential matches. Our match coordinator takes our agency's family homestudies, or "family available" flyers with her to the meeting, and county sws bring their "child available" flyers. It sounds like a lot of "yentas" getting together!

These workers have formed groups, and they also host picnics and adoption fairs. The ones I have gone to are the BASA (Bay Area Supervisors of Adoption) and the one in Sacramento (I don't remember the name of this group). The sws do a terrific job of putting together activities for the kids, and prospective parents are encouraged to interact with the kids. I have heard that there is also one in the Central Valley, that was held recently in Clovis. Up here, they are generally held in the Spring and Fall.

Ask your sw or match coordinator about picnics. They have to register you to go. You never know if you'll meet your child there!!! And it is nice to meet the kids you've read about....and maybe have been scared off about because of their diagnoses...and find that you can interact with them, and that you might be a match, after all.

Do you go to the California Kids Connection website? Carol and Graham usually post events in the events forum. There probably won't be anything now until BASA, in September.

Here's the link: California Kids Connection website/forums

Warm wishes, and I hope you find your child soon!

[Waiting_Family]

Okay, here's that link again, without the double http:

California Kids Connection at www.cakidsconnection.com/index.html