[acgh2003]

Hello I wanted to find out from others in California who are using the state for their adoptions how your experience has been? I have enjoyed every minute of our process and am very proud to be working with a great goup of people in San Bernardino County. I would like to know how long also your placements have taken? I hear a variety of tiem frames and are aware that each case is different. I hope their are others here who want to share their stories. I am so excitted about this process and will be even more thrilled when I can hold our litlle one(s). I can not wait to get our first call.... How long did it take most people to get their first call after licensing approved your home?????

[mina2u]

I have not adopted through CA, but was wanting to do so. I am very interested in a sib group in LA. Unfourtunetly, they are not considering out of state placement for this sib group. I am very curious to read some of the answers to the posted question, as I am still hopefull that the board will change their mind.

[colleyml]

Finally, people in southern california. I have been browsing sites for awhile and never seen anyone. So, HELLO THERE NEIGHBORS.

i am currently a licensed foster parent for L.A. county and have not had a single placement, so we decided (me & hubby) that we would rather adopt. See we have no children of our own. anyways in December we started the adoption process and i am so excited. I mailed in our application on the 26th of December and just spoke with SW and we are currently signed up to start MAPP class. I already took last year but want to take again. Process i feel will go by, i hope, somewhat quick since i am already licensed. so well i hope to talk to some of you again.

[acgh2003]

Hello to you also neighbor!!!!

I have meet some people on this forum from many places in CA. Some in Riverside... We are looking to adopt a sibling group ages 0-6 yrs, youngest to be girl. Medium to mild conditions.... I see children all the time on the ca kids connection web site for LA county...I wish you luck and all the best feel free to email me anytime.
Crissy

[momtogabe]

Hi California neighbors!

My husband and I are working on adopting from San Bernardino County. We have a 4 year old bio son, and are hoping to be matched soon with either a sibling set of boys, or a single boy ages 0-3. Everyone we've talked to and worked with during this process has been very helpful and sensitive, and always returns my calls immediately. Our wait has been long and we're still waiting. We completed our PRIDE traning in October of 2002, and had our homestudy finished and became licensed in June of 2003. So, we've been entered in the system for the matching process since last June. Our homestudy has been sent out twice that we know of, so we've been considered twice, but haven't been the final choice. When we completed our homestudy last June, our SW gave us "within a year" for the amount of time we'd be waiting for our child or children. We are praying that the match will happen by June. The waiting has been the absoloute hardest part. Some weeks I can put the waiting out of my mind, and other weeks are just agony. I've found that reading about others experiences have really helped me to remember that so many other people are going through the same things at the same time,and that we can support each other here. And it sure is great to hear that the waiting will eventually end and we'll know our new child/children were worth that long wait!

Hope things are moving along with all of you!

[acgh2003]

Your post was so nice. I agree this forum is such a comfort to me knowing there are other people you know how I might feel and probably experience the same things I do. My process has gone smooth so far and I have many nice people to work with. San Bernardino County SW's do a very good job in my opinion and should be given alot of praise for the hard work they put in for not only the children but all the families involved. I think the try very hard and often are not praised for the best efforts. I will remain patient and let the social workers do their job. They work so hard and I know I am very grateful for the work they have done with us so far. Best of luck to everyone and lets keep this post alive with people from all over who just want to express themselves and find comfort from those of us who know what they are going though. Best to All Crissy

[colleyml]

i know that the waiting is always the worst part. i know that when we went to orientation the worker told us that most people are matched within two years. be patient i have a feeling it will happen for you soon.

good luck!!!

[acgh2003]

I look forward to our placement and it seems coming here and talking to other people helps relieve some of the anxiety from the wait. I know that in due time we will bring our children home and begin a whole new journey. What are some of the things others have done to keep the days going by quickly? I am a clean freak everytime I get stressed or nervious about something I start cleaning even if what I am cleaning is already clean. I also lay in the Nursery and day dream about how things will be when we bring them home. And I will find ways to rearrange and sort. LOL I need a hobby but just can not think of one to do. I guess I will find one soon enough. Well hope everyone has a wonderful day, I will talk again soon. Crissy

[Dianna]

Hi, We have adopted 3 times in California from the foster care system. This has been over a period of 10 years. Each time I thought it took so long that it would take forever. It didn't. Everything happens in its own time and there is actually time to do it all. Best wishes to everyone.

[acgh2003]

Sometimes I get so much comfort in coming to this forum. Their are so many people who have wonderful stories to tell. Its remarkable how fast time goes by when you are not sitting by the clock waiting for the day to end. I find comfort in doing things to remain optimistic about our wait and look to others for support and guidance. I feel that if you live your life waiting and counting every moment you will miss out on some of the important moments of your life. The time will come when all of us can say hey I did it and finally get our babies. In the mean time I want to give my biological children the best year of their little lives while we all wait for our newest additions. I think I came up with some good family projects to do to help all of us deal with the wait and help my children understand that in due time their siblings will come and in due time we will have a great big party.I do not know what the reasoning is for this post just went with my feelings and decided to just put my thoughts down.
Best wishes to all and may we all remain patient and confident.

[acgh2003]

I wanted to share this prayer with everyone!!!!

Prayer for an Adopted Child
By Rabbi Sandy Eisenberg Sasso
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"Adonai is mindful of us, will bless us; will bless the house of Israel; will bless the house of Aaron; will bless those who revere Adonai, the little ones and the big ones together." (After Psalms 115:12-13)

We have been blessed with the precious gift of this child. After so much waiting and wishing, we are filled with wonder and gratitude as we call you our daughter/son. Our daughter/son, our child, you have grown to life apart from us. But now we hold you close to our hearts and cradle you in our arms with our love. We welcome you into the circle of our family and embrace you with the beauty of a rich tradition.

We pledge ourselves to the creation of a Jewish home and to a life of compassion for others, hoping that you will grow to cherish and emulate these ideals.

God of new beginnings, teach us to be mother and father, worthy of this sacred trust of life. May our daughter/son grow in health. May s/he be strong in mind and kind in heart, a lover of Torah, a seeker of peace. Bless all of us together beneath your shelter of shalom (peace), and grant our new family, always, the harmony and love we feel today.

-------------------------

Sincerely Crissy

[kidfinder]

As I have moved through the adoptin process in Caifornia, I have become very confused by the lack of coordination and systems in place to ensure timely and appropriate placements. During my 'waiting' period, I have actually begun to research and write a book about the process and how to best prepare your paperwork for maximum exposure and quick response rates. I have been an adoptive parent for 7 months--during this time I have been offered 3 children, all of whom I rejected for variouis reasons. Currently I am one of 2 families being considered for a child in Oregon and I think I have a very good shot at him even though I am a single gay man and the other family is a straight married couple.

The statistics regarding placement are grim. Less than 50% of all adoptive parents will recive 'the call' within the first year. The reasons are numerous (casework loads, unreasonable expectations, poor homestudies, etc) but there are ways of significantly improving your chances; waiting by the phone is not one of them. I receive a call regaridng possible placement of a child about once every 6-8 weeks. I have accomplished this success rate through a syetm of visibiity, marketing, and presentation which seems to be working very well.

[acgh2003]

Thank you Kidfinder for your post on your experience through the system in California.

I would like to take a moment and express my feelings about what I am going through personally, I want to remain optimistic throughout this process. Instead of concentrating on why something did not happen I want to do everything to ensure it does happen. And as an potential adoptive family I believe it is up to us to also help with what we can. You can have things done effectively if you communicate and work with the system and the people trained to their jobs. These workers have a big case load and when we get upset because they did not call us back what good does that do. What do you do when someone is rude and hateful with you, you tend to distance yourself drom those people. I am not saying all people are hateful and rude. I am saying that you get further when you remain calm and collective. Show repect to the SW and the work they do. I know a baby just does not come over night even if I was pregnant a baby would not just come in the blink of an eye. Children take time, committment, and love. I have to remain patient for our children, they will come, and I know they will. You have to believe that when its the right time it will happen. I am writing this because if you remain confident and realistic things will happen, if you get upset and worried you will only cause yourself more stress. Besides this is such a beautiful event and you should be thankful for the beautiful things that soon will be coming. I hope that people who ready this remain optimistic and know that soon we will all have our children.....Best wishes to all...

[JuliannaTeresa]

I have questions for Southern California people?

I am in Northern California, and I have seen reports that Adoptions from Southern California specifically Los Angeles County are taking 3 years?

Is this a true statement?

Is this from DCFS. or Private Adoptions?

What is the information based on?

[acgh2003]

I am going through SB county social services right now for adoption. In my experience training, licensing, and homestudy have gone smoothly and at a quick pace. You need to keep in mind that what people are willing to accept falls into play in their wait time. If you want a perfectly health specific sex infant, your wait will be longer. If you are open to condition and are wanting sibling sets,age and sex is open then your wait will go alot faster. I can say from my experience that communication between sw and adoptive parents are very important and that the faster you get your paper work in the faster your process goes. You can eliminate alot of your wait as long as you communicate well with your sw and work with them and help move things along as much as you can.... I have stayed on top of my paperwork and have constant contact with my sw and I believe this is a great help for us.... Every county is different and the process for everyone is didfferent, I on a personal note am very satisfied with the wasy our process is going and am very supportive to our sw. I hope this information helps. How is the process in northern california.