[savoy6]

HI am new to the forum. We are in the last 6 weeks before our adoptive son is born. I am getting anxious that we don't have all the info. we need. WE have been asked by the birthparents( my husband's brother and his wife) to adopt their baby. They live in MI. We live in CA. The interstate compact doesn't apply to us because it is a relative adoption. We contacted the CA state adoption specialist and she sent us the court paper work we will need to file once he is in our custody here in CA. The state assures us its pretty simple to do a relative adoption. We have contacted the hospital out of state where she will deliver and they said we need to bring some kind of paperwork that they can use to release the baby from the hospital and into our care. The CA state office says they don't have that paper work and we should just write something up. Ok this sounds to simple and its making me nervous that this is all a little too easy and maybe we are not being fully informed. I am trying to find an attorney in both states to give us more specific info. but everyone gets stuck on the interstate compact. I have read it myself and it says specifally that it does not apply to our adoption. Can anyone out there point us in the right direction? We have a 30min. consultation with an attorney this afternoon but money is very tight and we would like to avoid attorney fees. We were advised by CA that we don't need an attorney but seems like everyone is suprised we don't have one. We want to do everything correctly. Help? Thanks

[savoy6]

Ok saw the attorney this afternoon. He said he can't help us and we should retain a Michigan attorney. It's not supposed to be this difficult to do a relative adoption. I just keep in mind that in a few months having our new son with us will make up for all this hassle. I would still like any info or help anyone out there may have. Thanks.

[sara]

I'm a pre-adoption educator, not an attorney, so I won't give you legal advice. But I strongly suggest that you hire an adoption professional to make sure that you handle your adoption properly. Even relative adoptions aren't immune from significant problems down the road!

-Sara Lively, Forum Moderator

[tobeafamily]

The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys keeps a member listing online at www.adoptionattorneys.com. I'd suggest retaining counsel in both CA and MI to be sure everything is done correctly. Talk with at least three atty's in each state to compare fees, services, etc.

It is VERY important that all be done correctly, otherwise the adoption is invalid - meaning the child can be returned to its' birth parents or taken by the state!

HTH

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[DianeS]

Yes, do get an attorney in each state. It's expensive, but its the best way to ensure the adoption won't be found invalid later.

Even if you don't "have" to have the ICPC, it may make it easier if you jump through that hoop anyway. I know many, many adoptive parents of relatives who have done it, so it seems to be common even if not necessary.

You will need an official custody order to remove the baby from the hospital. Some people get around that by having the birthparents carry the baby out the door and hand the baby over in the parking lot or nearby park. But you still need an official order of custody in case you're stopped with the child for any reason, or to obtain medical care if the baby gets sick. A temporary guardianship letter written by the birthparent is sometimes enough.

Good luck!

[savoy6]

Thankyou so much for your responses. I am dissapointed to hear we should get a lawyer but it looks like the best option. We are so tight on our finances I don't know how we are going to afford an attorney let alone 2 attorneys. Thankyou for your advice, I feel more confident in the direction I need to go.