[thesearchguru]

CONTACT ETIQUETTE

People often ask me what is the best way to make the first contact; a letter, a phone call or a face-to-face meeting. I strongly encourage everyone to send a letter for the first contact and not to make a phone call or knock on a door. The letter from an adoptee should include a family picture if married or a casual snapshot if single. A birth parent should include one taken about the time of the adoptee's birth and a current snapshot. A phone call can be more instantly gratifying and has worked for many people. However, it can also bring any possible reunion to an immediate end if the person you are searching for hasn’t told other members of their family about the relinquishment. They may need processing time to consider your request. What you don’t want to do is create a “deer in the headlights syndrome” and force them to make a quick decision if they were not expecting to hear from you.

The most powerful contact is between the people involved in the relinquishment and adoption. A third party contacting the person you are looking for is not generally the best way to start a relationship. It’s not wise to contact other relatives first in the hopes that they may tell you where your birth parents are living. Relating your adoption connection to an unknowing relative could jeopardize your reunion. It is always advised to use the term “genealogy research” when talking to relatives to protect the privacy of the person you are looking for in your adoption search.

It's important to realize that the most crucial part of the reunion is the first contact and if it isn't done right it can forever alter the outcome of the reunion. Be optimistic and respectful and give yourself time to make the contact in a way that will give your reunion the greatest chance of success.

California Search Website:






Other great websites to check out:
http://www.adoptionchat.com
http://www.adoptionlists.com
http://www.adoption.com
http://www.adopting.org
http://www.adoptionregistry.com