[lastpaige]

FYI - I have two bio daughters, 12 and 9, both whom were nursed successfully.

My twin sons have been home for 8 months, and came with a long history of neglect and fear, especially "S". Here's the odd part - physically, they are 8 years old. Emotionally, they are about 3.

We have recently introduced S to playing in a pack and play for short periods of time (15 min or so) several times a day. It is working beautifully and has encouraged us that we are headed in the right direction – meaning backing way up with him developmentally and giving him a lot of reinforced security, lots of snuggles, lot of everything that he never received as an infant or even a child.

So here’s my question – has anyone ever introduced nursing (not for nutrition, but for security and bonding, maybe 2x a day) to an emotionally young child like this? The thought has only struck me in the last few days, but it won’t go away so I’ve got to research. This is where I’m starting. If you want to tell me I’m nuts, that’s ok - but I have to ask. Of course I’m worried about causing more emotional damage, but goodness; I’ve got to pick the brains of those who have gone before!

Thank you for any thoughts!

[Leigh131313]

To be honest, the idea completely does NOT sit well with me. However, I don't know alot about dealing with reactive attatchment disorder or any attatchment issues. Might I suggest you post this in other subforums as well? Perhaps with International adotion or Special Needs and Attatchment - there might be more knowledgable people there.

good luck

[Jensboys]

I would have severe issues with breastfeeding an 8 year old (of any emotional age). I think it could and would be construed as sexual abuse by most social workers and puts your families at risk.

We put both our boys back on the BOTTLE (and did lots of the same regression you speak of) at the ages of 3 & 4 through to ages 4 and 5. It was HUGELY successful.

I would STRONGLY encourage you to bottle feed if you think it will help. It forces the SAME sort of eye contact (you hold the bottle etc) and encourages closeness.

You dont need to have him sucking on you for this to be effective.

[lastpaige]

I think you could be right - since I nursed both my bio daughters, bottle feeding never occurred to me with S.

And with an abuse spin - forget it!

Duh!

[leoson]

My kids are grown now. One is adopted. The other two I had myself. I didn't want to nurse any of them because I had my own aversion to it. All three kids were well ahead of their chronological age when it came to emotional maturity.

Many people feel three years old is too old to nurse; but even if not, a child of eight who is emotionally three is still a child of eight. He may not be "equal" to other eight-year-olds, but he's also far from being "equal" to children three or younger as well.

Because I, personally, have had my aversion to breastfeeding, I'm not at all arguing with those who know it's best - particularly for helping a newborn develop immunity. The other aspect of breastfeeding, though, is the holding and physical closeness; and even bottle fed babies can have that, if mothers are aware of how important such contact is.

That kind of closeness, though, is also something babies need. Not that three-year-olds don't need physical affection, but developmentally they're in a completely different place from a newborn or even a baby of a year old. Two year olds are known for being in the "developing automony" stage, so a three-year-old is usually well established in his sense of autonomy.

For all these reasons, and because I think an eight-year-old boy with emotional issues REALLY doesn't need things complicated by something like breastfeeding, I would never even consider it if I were you - but I'm only one person with one opinion (although I don't think it's an unusual opinion).

[EZ2Luv]

Absolutely NOT!! I am the first to promote breast feeding , but I do not care how old the child is emotionally, this is NOT a good idea on so many levels and can be more damaging that good. Without listing the reasons why, the pp who suggested sexual abuse is number one.

EZ