[teendoc]

Hi Karyn,

Thanks for the congrats!

The expectant mother is 23 years old and is in the military. She has a 5 year old son currently being raised by her father. She is white and the baby's father is black/Latino. She's had prenatal care throughout the pregnancy and knows that she is having a girl. The due date is April 29th. Her only medical issue is that she suffered from depression in Iraq, something totally unsurprising.

She seems very conscientious in making her adoption plan. She went to one agency but didn't like the profiles they sent her and the lack of personal attention, so she then looked for another agency and found ours, AFTH. The first time she looked at the books, she didn't find a couple that met her criteria. She was clear that she wanted a biracial couple who had no children. She especially wanted someone who had gone through infertility treatments. She tentatively picked a family who had one child, but wasn't fully sold. The social worker told her to take her time and come back in a week or so to see if there were more families in the book. When she returned, our profile had been put in the books. We were so lucky that the timing was right.

Our SW is hoping to get a meeting together at the end of March or the first week in April. I'm just crossing my fingers.

Her follow up questions also showed great forethought for the baby. She wanted to know about our proposed discipline styles, whether we had checked on the web for sex offenders in our neighborhood and what our criteria were for choosing daycare and choosing a sitter.

I don't have as much detail about the baby's father because the mother is using the refusal to name statute they have in Delaware. That statute can be invoked if the mother feels that either she or the baby might suffer harm if the father is made aware of his paternity. Our social worker is finding out what that means in terms of termination of his parental rights.

Till then we get ready for our meeting. She said that she wants us at the delivery (as long as my husband stays away from the delivery end of the table, for obvious reasons. She doesn't know how much contact she wants after birth. But unfortunately she will be heading back to Iraq.

Again, I know this can all go south if she chooses to parent, but I'm cautiously optimistic that she will follow through on her adoption plan. I will keep everyone posted.

[KarynB]

Wow - that all sounds amazing! Congrats again! Any word on the meeting? That would be amazing to be at the delivery - I sure hope this all works out for you - that sure was fast!

How is everything going on the bf'ing front?

Things for me have cleared up - no more plugged ducts/mastitis - boy was that painful!

[teendoc]

Hi Karyn,

We are meeting with J on the 2nd of April. I think it will be a good meeting. I'm bringing the camera.

The breastfeeding continues slowly but I'm getting some drops into the bottle these days. I touched base with Dr. Newman and he reassured me that I am doing just fine. He was OK with my increasing the domperidone dose, just for good measure. He was so much more helpful than Lenore.

I'm glad the mastitis has gotten better. I'm having a bad case of itchy nipple. I don't know what the heck that is from.

Take care!

[KarynB]

Hi Liana,

How are you? I just thought I'd check in and see how your meeting went the other day...

How is the breastfeeding going? All is well here, the plugged ducts have cleared right up (thank goodness) and all is back to normal. I think my guy is getting some teeth though, so i am a little worried about that!

Anyways, i'd love to hear how things are going with you...

karyn

[teendoc]

Hey Karyn,

I've been looking for you here. Glad to hear that things have cleared up, but sorry about the teeth.

The meeting with J went well. I posted about it in my blog. I'll send you a PM with the password if you want to read the details. The next time we will see her will be in the delivery room.

Fingers crossed!

The pumping is improving a bit. The interesting thing is that I get most of my milk from hand expressing after pumping. I'm somewhere between 1-2 ounces/day right now. That's more than I thought I would get at some times in the recent past.

I'm just trying to get the nursery together at this point. I'm excited and terrified at the same time.

[umaangel00]

I have a question for you all. Can you adoptive breastfeed without taking all sorts of drugs and herbs? I don't like side effects so I really am not willing to take drugs but I was wondering if there is a way to actually get your milk to come in other ways.

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by umaangel00

I have a question for you all. Can you adoptive breastfeed without taking all sorts of drugs and herbs? I don't like side effects so I really am not willing to take drugs but I was wondering if there is a way to actually get your milk to come in other ways.

I've heard of people doing it but it can take a long time and a lot of effort to produce milk. There are some sites that can give you more information. You can try the Adoptive Breastfeeding Resource Website. They have a forum that can answer more questions for you and give you tips.

[KarynB]

Also wanted to add that it really isn't all sorts of drugs - there are two key players: domperidone (a drug) and then fenugreek (the herb). Just wanted to clarify that because some people have the mistaken notion that it requires all kinds of hormones etc when it really doesn't. Good luck!

[umaangel00]

I didn't mean to sound like you were all hyped up on drugs to make this work. I just know the drug used is not allowed in the US so i really do not want to take it so I was hoping there was some other way to make it work.

[teendoc]

Originally Posted by umaangel00

I didn't mean to sound like you were all hyped up on drugs to make this work. I just know the drug used is not allowed in the US so i really do not want to take it so I was hoping there was some other way to make it work.

You might want to do a little more research into the insubstantial reasons that domperidone is not approved for use in the US. Domperidone is a gastric motility agent similar to reglan. They found that in hospitalized patients in the ICU who were given IV domperidone, a small number had cardiac arrhythmias. These arrhythmias have never been found in people taking the oral form, however. Because of this issue in ICU patients and because there are other drugs that can be used for gastric motility problems, the FDA does not allow this drug to be sold in the US.

However, the American Academy of Pediatrics approves of domperidone for use to improve milk supply in breastfeeding women. They disagreed with the FDAs decision to remove domperidone from the US market. They feel that it is indeed safe for improving milk supply.

Just wanted you to know that there is a little more to the story.

[Sari]

Where could one get domperidone? Do you have to get a prescription to buy it from Canada or some place like that?

[teendoc]

I get my domperidone from Vanuatu (home of one season of Survivor) without a prescription. I use Inhouse Pharmacy. They are so prompt. The domperidone comes in blister packs in original packaging. I get 900 pills for about $100. Can't beat the price. Canada generally requires a prescription, I discovered.

[KarynB]

Another place to try is Global Drug - cheap and well -respected place.

I am in canada so can't use them (package will be confiscated at customs) and need a prescription for my dom. I pay about the same as was posted earlier - I buy 480 at a time for about $50.