[FLMomma]

Hello! I'm new to these forums. My DH and I have just started researching International adoption. We are most interested in Russia or Korea right now.

I have Breastfed our 3 bio DDs. I'm still nursing our 16 mos old, actually. I fully intend to try my hardest to BF any baby that we adopt, even an older infant.

I have a question for anyone who has adopted transracially. Let me start out by saying that I have no problems nursing in public, and I would do it regardless of our adopted baby's race. That said, do you have any experiences where you were among others and you were BFing a baby that was clearly not yours and your SO's? Do people notice or comment?

I envision us at the mall or a restaurant, all 5 of us caucasians, and our Asian(maybe) baby is nursing. Will people think I was unfaithful?? It's a weird question, but I think it might be reality. I know my DH is more uncomfortable w/ this senario than I am. How did you get around it or work through it?

When I expressed my desire to nurse our baby when we adopt, he was bewildered. He had never heard of women nursing adopted children. I'm sure he would come around, but do you have any btdt advice?

Thanks so much!

[odi]

This is an older post so I was just wondering what happened with you and your family? Did you go on to adopt and breastfeed? I ask as someone who is adopting a daughter from China and very unsure if I am going to try to breastfeed for many reasons. Did you? And did it all go well?

[FLMomma]

No, we haven't adopted yet. We are moving out of state, and the agency that covers Korean adoption in our new state isn't taking new applicants for a long time.

We have decided to go the foster, possible foster-adopt route. We most likely won't be bfing a foster baby. It's usually against the rules in most places.

[Lady Albert]

Originally Posted by odi

This is an older post so I was just wondering what happened with you and your family? Did you go on to adopt and breastfeed? I ask as someone who is adopting a daughter from China and very unsure if I am going to try to breastfeed for many reasons. Did you? And did it all go well?

ODI,

My DH and I are planning to adopt from China. I currently BF our DD and plan to BF our daughter, though I may have to induce lactation at that point. Have you considered adoptive BF any further? It would be a shame to let societal pressures rob you of such a valuable bonding and parenting tool.

I'm just curious as to what conclusions you came to.

[seguinfamily]

Hello!

I am adopting a racially mixed baby, African American, Hispanic, American Indian and Caucasion. The mix is mostly African American, and the baby will look AA. We are Caucasion. I am concerned as well, but I know it is best for my baby so I am just going to handle anything that comes my way.

Kristen

[traceyk]

DH, my two bio teens and I are CC and Drihan obviously is full AA. I had no problems nursing her in public. People looked quite a bit, especially when DH was with me and caressing her whils she nursed, but no one ever commented. I personally am someone who doesn't let society dictate my dreams and actions. It was the best experience I ever had. Unfortunately she weaned herself at 9 mo.

[seguinfamily]

Originally Posted by traceyk

DH, my two bio teens and I are CC and Drihan obviously is full AA. I had no problems nursing her in public. People looked quite a bit, especially when DH was with me and caressing her whils she nursed, but no one ever commented. I personally am someone who doesn't let society dictate my dreams and actions. It was the best experience I ever had. Unfortunately she weaned herself at 9 mo.

Thank you!

This makes me feel much better!

[rose32542]

OK, here's the deal. There is so much societal predjudice against breastfeeding anyway, that you won't get any more stares with an adopted child than with a bio child. Believe me, I nurse my bio son for 19 months, and am currently nursind my adopted, biracial treiplets, who are four months old. I nurse anywhere and everywhere, and I won't cover my baby's head with a blanket, although practically the entire breast is blocked by the baby anyway, so I don't know why that matters. I don't go out of my way to make people uncomfortable, but their discomfort is not my concern, either. It's may baby, my breast, and there is nothing indecent about it.

We are all here (in this particular forum) because we know breastfeeding is best. The only way it will become more acceptable in our society is if we as moms brestfeed our abbies when they need it, wherever we are, without shame or apology. (Watch out, I can REALLY get on a soapbox about this!)

[bpayne]

We are hoping to have our baby, who will be AA--we are Caucasian, by the first of the year. I am very interested in BF, but was concerned about the response we would get from people. Your post has been very encouraging to me. I am not one, usually, to care what people think. But I did wonder what others had experienced.

Your daughter is beautiful! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with others.

[dotrobjohn]

Ok - not only have I breastfed some of my adopted AA babies, but I have done it tandem! With the 12 month old on one side and the 3 month old on the other side that is when you really get the looks Breast feed away! Until your back gives out, then take a break and start again I can't wait to relactate and start in with a new little one (#9 for us) in the next few months! Time to get out the Fenugreek and the Medela.

[newfoster]

So you find it possible to relactate using just the pump and herbs? I have been on the herbs for three weeks and have been pumping for five weeks. So far only an occasional feeling of fullness. Not getting any milk at all. Could you tell me also how to send a message to just one person like you in this case where I am going off topic but want to ask a question. Thanks

[EmmaLeigh2882]

I guess I have a stupid question- why would anyone be looking that closely at you while you are breastfeeding? I would find that rude and intrusive- now maybe if you were AA and your baby CC ( or vice versa) you wouldn't have to barley look to notice- but CC and Asian? You would have to be looking REALLY hard to tell! Frankly I wouldn't ever allow someone to be staring that closely at me while I was nursing!
And I would be letting them know that too!!

Just MHO...

[dotrobjohn]

Hi - don't despair - I pm'd you but to everyone else...unless you are actively nursing another baby there is not much milk until you start with the new one. One more thing that seems consistent in my life....it hurts to train a new one to nurse even if you are tandem nursing them with a 12 month old. It's them learning how to suck not chew and all of that. Prepare to curl your toes when they first latch on!

[noelani2]

This is a fun topic for me! I have nursed six adopted kids, three of whom have black birth fathers. With my black/white biracial son, Thomas, there were a few times when we were nursing in public, and my caucasian husband was with me, when someone obviously wondered, but few said anything. We were in Europe at that time, too, which was a different environment, in lots of ways. With my "full" AA son, Joseph, I was really surprized that there weren't more looks or inquiries, but there were a few. I had gone to pick up Joseph in a different state, and taken Thomas, who was four, with me. Thomas was very proud that Joseph was nursing. One time, we were in McDonalds, with Joseph sitting in an infant seat, so everyone could see him. There was an older couple sitting next to us and Thomas went up to them and said "My mom nurses our baby!". They looked at the beautiful little chocolate skinned, curley haired baby and then looked at me and were a bit surprized!

With Joanna, who is biracial (Haitian/Filipino) but with no caucasian birth parent, it seemed to depend on who was with me. I think, if Thomas was with me and not Joseph, people would assume Joanna was also black/white and that both were my bio kids, but if Joseph was there they would think Joanna was adopted, too. I nursed her in public alot more because she wouldn't take a pacifier or occasional bottle, like my others would.

In general, though, I don't think people usually realized that I was nursing, and not just holding a sleeping baby. Of those few who seemed to be disapproving, I usually got the feeling that their problem was primarily with breastfeeding, and not that my baby was a different race than I was.

Overall, I think it was even a little more helpful to breastfeed my non-white kids, to build confidence that I was their mom and that the fact that we look very different from each other has no bearing on our relationship!

[traceyk]

People look regardless to color when breastfeeding. I 'o-just kept doing it and ignored them. I wanted to keep my baby happy and content and keep the negative energy away from her.