[pattigirlnyc]

Hello All,
I was wondering if there are any single parents who adopted from Brazil would like to share their experiences with me. I'll be starting the process soon and have narrowed it down two agencies, both working with Brazil.
Thanks!

[LisaF]

I adopted my 2 from Brazil a year ago. They were 10 and 7 at the time. I also have met 2 other singles who have adopted from Brazil in the last couple of years. PM me if you would like more info.

Lisa
Mom to 5...2 USA, 1 Guate and 2 Brazil
lisa's family

[pattigirlnyc]

Hi Lisa,
Thanks so much for getting back to me, I'm going to PM you today.

[ocracoke]

Hi Patty,

I didn't adopt from Brazil I adopted from Ethiopia. But I am single and loving it. I can't help you with the adoption process of Brazil because I know nothing about it. However, I can always share about what it is like to be a single mom. What age and gender are you hoping for? Good luck with your process.

Samantha

[pattigirlnyc]

Hi Samantha
Thanks for your reply. I'm hoping to bring home siblings
(2) between the ages of 5-7, 6-8, 7-9, somewhere around there. What's the thing that surprised you most about being a single mom?
Best,
Patricia

[ocracoke]

Patricia,

When I turned my dossier into Ethiopia I requested 12-24 month old girl. I initially thought I wanted a child as young as possible. At the last minute I realized I didn't and since my home study was only approved up to 24 months I had to limit it to 12-24 months. My daughter was 18 months at referral and nearly 21 months when arriving home. She is the love of my life. However, if I were to do this again (and I do hope to) I would ask for the 4-6 year old range.

The most shocking thing about being a parent to me was the sleep deprivation. It took a long time to adjust to it. I am not a morning person. My daughter is. Her energy is unending. Mine is not. I couldn't wait for her to start talking in a language so I could understand her thoughts. Now I wish for a just a moment of silence at least once a day. I am amazed by how smart she is. I am amazed by the love I feel for her. I am amazed at how funny she is. I am amazed at how completely my life has changed. And I love being a single mom. I work for a family law attorney and it is great not to have to fight about little things with a father of my child. I don't have to compromise my values and beliefs at raising my child to fit in the values and beliefs of a spouse. And I am never disappointed when a spouse doesn't do what he said he would (like so many of my friends experience). I wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

Samantha

[pattigirlnyc]

Hi Samantha,

I went to bed last night thinking about not having any paternal help with the kids. Then I thought, well without a father I get full control, from after school activities to chores and homework, it's going to be all my call. I'm going to be fully responsible for the child rearing and will not have to explain myself to anyone who might not think the same way I do when it comes to bringing up a child. Needless to say I wound up falling asleep with a smile on my face.

Some of the reasons for my chosing to adopt older children is that I'm single and will have to work. I also thought about being able to sleep through the night and that's always a plus!

I've been doing a lot of things lately as if I'm doing them for the last time, i.e. socializing, curling up in bed in the early evening to read and watch some tv; sleeping late... I know all this and more is going to change very shortly and I think the trade off is going to be amazing. I'm so ready I just can't wait!

I can't wait for the kids to discover the United States, for them to go to the beach, Disneyland, play soccer, take a martial art, hang out with cousins, make new friends, learn English. It's going to be amazing!

Thanks soo much for writing. Please feel free to tell me more and don't hold back any advice that may come to you... I could use it all!

Best,
Patricia

[ocracoke]

Patricia,

There has only been one time that I broke down in tears and wished for a husband since my daughter came home. She had been home about 4 months and caught a stomach bug for the weekend. We were co-sleeping so I had my bed pressed up against the wall. She was still in diapers but she had explosive diapers and was puking. And I would have to get up several times a night to clean her up and change the sheets before settling back down. I would have to pull my big honking wooden sleigh bed away from the wall to change the sheets. And by Sunday morning I tried to pull the bed away from the wall one last time and I just didn't have the strength to do it. I was exhausted and tired. I collapsed onto the bed and cried and thought, "so this is why I needed a husband." But it passed.

Samantha

[pattigirlnyc]

Hi Samantha,

Yeah, I could imagine you might have needed help with that scenerio... but like you said, it passed and that's the most important thing. I tried to send you a PM but your inbox is full. There's some other stuff I wanted to ask you regarding being a single mother and socializing but wanted some privacy to do so. Would you mind swapping regular e-mail addresses? You could pm me yours... (I prefer not to post mine publicly).

Best,
Patricia

[Sheriv]

I don't know about your agencies but in Brazil as long as you are over 21 married or single you can adopt. Brazilians have first option for infants always but there are many children available between 1 and 16. You should know that the CEJA is the driving force and this depends on the state/city you adopt from. Foreigners do not have precedence unless of course you live/work in Brazil and then the process is smoother but the same no infants and plenty of toddlers usually a little older than 1

Hope that helps. I do know someone who was single who adopted and her process was smooth but the details are like I said....

Sheri

[pattigirlnyc]

Hi Sherry,
Thanks for your post. Do you think the woman that you know would talk to me, through e-mail or whatever is easier for her regarding her adoption? I'm interested in many factors, not only regarding the adoption but regarding single motherhood, etc but especially how she was treated as a single woman in the Brazil courts, etc?
Best,
Patricia

[Sheriv]

Hey,

I apologize for not getting back to you. Do you think you could PM me your e-mail address and I will forward it to my friend.

Thanks.... It's been crazy..... my son suffers from RAD and I would strongly suggest that you know something about it because it is hard enough when your a two parent family but it will have an impact for sure on a one parent family...

Talk again later....

[Mom_for_2]

Hi i was wondering what you found out - I am a single parent with one from Guatemala and would love to do it again. If you received any info or agency referrals - could you PM me - thanks

[Dhewco]

I'm thinking of domestic adoption when I get out of school. (I'm 34, but have gone back to get my degree in Criminal Justice). But, I'd like to have the option to adopt internationally, should I save enough for it.

Does anyone know of any agencies or lawyers that work with single men? I'd like a kid as young as 3-4 to the age of 8-9. I don't think I could handle an infant, but I won't graduate for another 3 years.

I realize that is a long time away, but I'd like to email the agencies/attorneys and get some small idea of fees.

Please PM me, if you can.