[thesearchguru]

(author unknown)

Being a birthmom is never being able to look at a baby on the street without remembering.

Being a birthmom is flinching when someone asks you if you plan to have children and you don´t know how to tell them that you already have.

Being a birthmom is being plagued with wondering if you did the right thing.

Being a birthmom is wondering if your child can ever know how very much you loved them.

Being a birthmom is like feeling less. Less of a person, less of a parent, less of a provider.

Being a birthmom is wondering if your child is thinking about you.

Being a birthmom is being silent because you can´t tell anyone without knowing if they will hate you for what you did.

Being a birthmom is worrying that your child will not turn out okay if you keep them.

Being a birthmom is worrying that your child will not turn out okay if you give them up.

I am a birthmother. Maybe I was not your birthmother but the feelings I had when I held my baby in my arms were the same as your birthmothers because it is an impossibility that she didn´t feel the same overwhelming love for you.

If your adoption didn´t turn out well, know that that was not your birthmothers intention. She loved you. She was plagued with self-doubt and didn´t know if she was good enough for you, her precious child. She could not find one single thing that was wrong with you. There was only something that she felt was wrong with herself, her situation or her future. She didn´t mean to gamble with your future by giving you up, she thought keeping you was a gamble with your future and she couldn´t bear to do that to you.

She was presented with two paths for you, and one seemed the road paved with certain happiness - two parents to love you who could give you everything you wanted. She looked down the road she was taking and saw a rocky path covered in fog. There are some mothers who choose the rocky fog-covered path, yes. But I couldn´t do that. You were so precious, I gave you one last kiss and sent you down a road I hoped would be filled with sunshine and happiness.

Then I bent my head and made my way into the fog. I am sorry if you hurt because I didn´t bring you with me. But I did. You are in my heart, you are in my head. But do not cry for my sadness or I will weep even more. For you, I will make my way through the fog and hope that way off in the distance our paths will cross and that you will have received all of the happiness I hoped for you. And I will strive to do whatever I can to make myself someone you will be proud to have emerged from.

Your birthmother loved you. Even if she is not actively looking for you there is not even a chance that she didn´t love you. She thinks about you always. Believe me, I know...







Other great websites to check out:
http://www.adoptionchat.com
http://www.adoption.com
http://www.adopting.org
http://registry.adoption.com/

[reitzscracker]

I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR WHAT U WROTE, AS I AM CRYING RIGHT NOW.IM SEARCING FOR MY B MOM WHO TRIED FOR 5MO TO TAKLE CARE OF ME. I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR HER FOR SO LONG THAT I STARTED TO RESENT HER UNTILLI READ THIS POST. I HAVE ALWAYS REPECTED HER AND I HAVE GREAT LOVING PARENTS NOW. WITHOUT HER THOUGH, I FELL A PIECE MISSING ALSO. I HOPE TO REUNITE SOMEDAY IF ONLY TO TELL HER..."ITS OKAY." LORI