[mikey]

I have considered stopping my visits because they are so painful. I cannot see my child and think in my mind that it's just me playing with a kid, and then I go home. No, it's me seeing the love of my life, it's him giving me kisses and hugs for hours. It's leaving the one thing in the world that I wish i could have somehow, or someway. It hurts, and some people deal with their pain differently. Maybe she doesn't want to call because she will break down in sobs, maybe blocking it out is the only way she can cope.

[mikey]

I was trying to pst a reply so thats why this sound like the middle of a conversation!

[Jennlynn752002]

I am bmom in an open adoption as well. My daughter is 6 years old. I have frequent visits with her and it is very hard when it comes to leaving as I hurt so much inside but i know if i didn't see her at all it would hurt alot more. I have alot of regret giving her up for adoption but I could never take her out of her home now as she is a very happy little girl I just wish I would of kept her. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. If you need to chat just email me anytime. mickeymaze@msn.com. I hurt so much inside it burns. Well I hope to hear from you soon.