[dschei15]

I am revoking my consent for adoption. I feel so relieved and happy. I can't wait to get my little baby girl back. My life will be so fulfilled and I can give her everything except a father. So please support me. I love her. I can't wait to be reunited with her.

Dawne

[Natalie2001]

Dawne:

you stated:

" I can give her everything except a father'.
I dont understand. Can I ask WHY you chose to place your daughter in the first place? You say " My life will be fulfilled'....well, if this is truly what you feel is in the best interest of your child, and not about YOU, then more power to ya! But really....Has your situation changed since placing?
SOMETHING must have made you feel that having a child in your situation wasnt going to work. Also, I didnt realize that revoking consent is just 'as easy as that'......wasnt there some kind of going to court with the aparents?

PS....dont mean to 'yell'...but I cant do 'italics'
on here.

[LilOne]

Carla,
Unless you go to court and do tpr...it's (in michigan) just a call to the agency/attorney that you placed with...It's after tpr that things can get messy, and you have to prove (again in michigan) fraud,coercion or consent given under duress...

Example, with our bdaughter, we didn't go to court to do tpr until she was almost 2 months old...anytime during those 2 months, all we had to do was call our agency, state we wanted to revoke, and she would have to be "returned" to us in I think (would have to dig out the papers) 48 hours....After I believe it was 30 days we would have had to pay X amount of dollars for fostercare...Again to get the exact figures i would have to dig out our paperwork but its a general idea...Don't know what the "laws" are in her state..But that's how it was for us.


take care
Lisa

[LilOne]

Moira,
I never questioned her decision, so I'm unsure where you came up with that at...Carla had stated she thought you had to go to court with/against the aparents to revoke a consent, so I was just stating how it worked here in michigan when we placed our bdaughter....


Lisa

[Natalie2001]

Lisa-

I'm totally confused, girlfriend! LOL what is 'tpr'?



Moira, I wasnt belittling Dawne-

I was just asking some questions.
And as for your " Lets not ask why'
theory.....lets face it. If Dawn posted
about considering adoption, we'd all ask
'why'......so how is it wrong to ask 'why'
about her taking the baby back?

[LilOne]

Carla,
Lol, pregnancy does it to you!!


TPR is the paperwork....Termination Of Parental rights...relinquishment papers...whatever anyone wants to call them!!


P.S Carla, I lost your email addy, hop onto yahoo, need to ask you something!!


Lisa

[Natalie2001]

Got ya Lisa

I'm not on Yahoo mess anymore, it never works well.
I use yahoo email though

Arlenasmom@yahoo.com

[Birthmomxs2]

Interesting!

With both of my children I had 48 hours to change my mind, and after that, it would have been a fight from hell to get either of them back.

My sons adoptive parents would have understood, but when I mentioned it one day three weeks after my daughter was born that I wasn't happy, the agency gave me royal hell telling me how selfish I was, and that CPS would be contacted and told I was a negligant parent... etc.

All I can say is thank god my children are in good hands...

[dschei15]

Thanks to everyone's point of view. The initial reasons I put my little girl up for adoption were because I was ashamed, scared and fearing the stigma of "illlegitimacy". I can't possibly live with myself giving her up. I am 27, almost 28 and I have a great career. Yet, I was so worried about what everyone else would think. Now I honestly don't care and I want my baby girl back. I thought I could go through with it, yet I can not. So please tell me you understand. I honestly love her more than anything.

Love,
Dawne

[dschei15]

Please if You already have a child how can you possibly question me? I can understand not being able to support your child, but if I have someone questioning my decision when they have 3!!!!! That is ridiculous. I am not trying to belittle you but hello, there is birth conrol. Which I used and ended up pregnant at 27. I just can't give her up. I love her more than life itself.

Dawne

[Natalie2001]

Dawne-



You said :

"I am not trying to belittle you, but hello, there is birth

control."



Not only is that downright insulting, but hypocritical

as well....yep, I know all about the " failed birth control"

stories.

I'm quite sure that I'm not the only first mom out here who has other children and has placed a child. So, not only are you insulting me with that statement, but others as well.

I was being polite when I posted to you. I just

simply asked why you chose to place and then

reclaim. But it seems your reasons for

reclaiming arent about your child at all, but about

how this is effecting YOUR life. Heck, if all us

first moms would revoke our consent based on

what the adoption does to US, and how horrible

it makes US feel, then most likely we would ALL

reclaim our children, and there would be no such

thing as a 'True, Adoptive Family".......BUT I'm not

gonna argue with ya!

[reneetaylor]

Dawne,

I for one am glad that you have thought through the situation and decided to keep your daughter. While it would have been a lot easier on the adoptive parents to hear this before the baby was born, you can't always make rational decisions when you are facing the shame and embarrassment of an being an unwed pregnant woman in today's society. Even though it is more widely accepted than it was, it still carries the stigma of being promiscuous or irresponsible. I have read so many posts from women who gave their children up in the 50's, 60's and 70's because of the shame, and then regretted it for the rest of their lives. Good for you, that you are strong enough and independent enough to say "To hell with what everyone else thinks!"

Now that you have your priorities straight and can see that you are able to raise your daughter without the assistance of a husband, you will hopefully realize that you can get support from so many other places. Church is a wonderful place to start! God is the one that gave you this child and He will give you the resources to raise her. You are not some 15 year old high school drop-out, you are a mature woman with a college education, and YOU CAN be a positive role model for your daughter.

Good luck!

[Taig]

Luckily Dawn has the maturity at 28 to realize she was making a mistake - she clearly loves her child and provided to us the reasons why she initially considered adoption

"The initial reasons I put my little girl up for adoption were because I was ashamed, scared and fearing the stigma of "illlegitimacy".

Adoption is a permanent solution to a temporary problem in the lives of many young girls. Adoption is no guarantee your child will have a fairy tale life - one with two parents on the "have" vs. "have not" side of live. What is important for your child is that she will grow up with her mother's love and care. Have faith Dawn. Cherish her infancy and every stage of her growth and development. Time passes quickly - live in the moment. You are her mother and your love for her is what will make her flourish. I am glad you were able to sort out your feelings before it was too late.

Taig

[adoption4us]

Dawne,
I am am a person who is waiting to adopt and who has also had a failed adoption. We had our son in our hhome for a month before the birthfather who is an alcoholic and bankrupt came forward. I wonder if you are really thinking what is best for this child or just thinking of yourself. I know being a single mom is not a cake walk and i cant even imagine how much pain that adoptive family will go thru when you take this child away from them..I am sure they have waited for many many years for this child..YOu shoud have thought this thru before you did it...NOT after. I know adoption is the single most unslefish thing you can do for your child and how blessed she will be to have a mom and a dad forever...

[LilOne]

You state "I know being a single mom is not a cake walk " well if single mom's are so unhealthy and a child deserves and only should have a two parent home...Why are single parents allowed to adopt?? I have a REAL problem with this statement as you might tell. We placed our child (me and bdad) so she would have had a two parent home regardless if we had placed or not, and there are MARRIED couples who have went on and also placed children.

Furthermore, about the aparents being hurt...When you take a legal risk placement (which from the description this would be classified as) that is a RISK that you as an adoptive parent takes...hence the term legal RISK....if you don't want to take the risk, then that is what foster care is for is it not??

The comment about she should have thought about htis before and not later? MANY agencies will offer homes/foster parents so that you CAN think your decision through...So Again I differ with your statements!

The birthfather being bankrupt and an alcoholic, well there are MANY adoptive parents that are on here wondering if having declared bankruptcy will hurt them and/or be discovered during the homestudy process....and there was recently a post from a couple wanting to know if the fact that one of them was a recovering alcoholic who had successfully completed rehab would still be able to adopt...obviously the childs FATHER was on the up and up because he has HIS child back now does he not?? But let me guess in your eyes, if they are adoptive parents who have these "problems" that's ok right?

What about the firstparents who hurt, and greive and cry themselves to sleep?? This is not a person who had her children taken away from her, she willingly tried to do this thinking it was a correct decision, and is reclaiming within HER time to do so....

Now, if in your eyes it's wrong to reclaim, then it should also be wrong for those aparents who "give" children back (and I'm not talkinga bout children who pose a threat) I'm talking about the ones that give back a BABY due to the wrong "skin tone" "not able to bond" or feel they "just don't fit in" and YES IT DOES HAPPEN read up on the boards and you'll find the scenario.


Lisa