[Jenna_f24]

Hello .. Just wondering if what I'm asking for, that's not being responded to, is something out of the ordinary. I have a close relationship with the aparents. We email almost daily, sometimes more than once a day even. I've mentioned in several emails, that I would like a video tape, of our daughter, or if I can bring a cam corder to the next visit.. usually they repsond with in hours of an email. but for some reason that one question always gets avoided. I dont feel right asking them why they dont answer that.. and I dont feel I should have to ask again.. Is this unreasonable of me to ask ? I'll be going on my third visit, in just a two weeks.. I can hardly wait. check our her website.. it's way too cute. Thanks for listening.

~ Jamie

[lovestory]

hmmm...dont' have a good answer for this one. If they are so open with you, and you are all very comfortable together. I don't see why they would have a problem with you video taping her.

Could it have possibly been overlooked, and they forgot to respond? (Probably not, I just re-read your post, and you said that you had mentioned it several times.)

Best case scenerio: They are avoiding the subject because they are making you a 'surprise' video of her.

Worst case scenerio: The really don't want you to video tape her. (Would they feel uncomfortable with you having a video tape of just her? If this is the case, Suggest you all be in it.)

Hope it all works out,
Stephanie

[HappyTwinsMom]

First of all, WHAT A CUTIE! I love all that hair she has sticking up!

As an a-mom, I don't know why her parents would have a problem with you videotaping. We've only had one visit with our girls' birthmom since we came home from the hospital and we provided her with a disposable camera at that visit. She was able to take whatever pictures she wanted...some of all of us...some of just the babies...some of just her and the babies...etc. One of her aunts came to the visit with a video camera and taped quite a bit. We didn't have any problem with it...even though no one mentioned it ahead of time. I guess it just didn't occur to any of us that it would be a problem. I remember someone asking "is it okay?" when they got there, but my hubby and I both said "sure, why not?"

Perhaps Stephanie is right and they are planning a "surprise" video as a gift for you. Or maybe they just keep forgetting to address the issue. I would suggest that you send them an email or call them to ask just about that issue. Then they'll have to answer you because it'll be the only question you've asked. Know what I mean? Otherwise, maybe you could just go to the visit with your camcorder and say, like our girls' birthfamily did, "is it okay?"

I don't know if I helped at all, but best of luck with your next visit!

[Jenna_f24]

Thank you Stephanie, and Margaret for taking the time to respond. I guess I'll just wait it out, and see what happens, if there is no video tape, maybe I'll bring the cam corder and see how it goes.. I can't wait to see her again.. The afamily lives four hours away, so this is only my third visit with Jenna. God Bless..

[BMlaurie]

OMG JAMIE SHE'S ADORABLE!! Sorry i just HAD to steal a peak at her too! What a sweetheart. I especially like her Christmas pics..she's so smiley..it's great. My boy's parents have started a tiny little website for my baby as well...unsure of the addy but i'll try to get it to you. My baby has the cutest little bumchin too!

About the video camera..I bring mine with me every time i go. I never asked, just kinda assumed there wouldn't be a problem. Margaret thank you for saying it doesn't bother you, I was a little worried after reading Jamie's post. It never even OCCURED to me that it might bother them.

Jamie I would really suggest just bringing it and see what happens. If it's a big issue I'm sure they'll let you know..I can't really understand why it would be. Do you bring a camera to just take normal pics? Hmm..that's so strange that they're avoiding it..especially with being so open with the website.

Best of luck hunny! Make sure to ell me how it goes!

[Jenna_f24]

Well, I think I will break down and bring the video camera with me this time. I have.. literally HUNDREDS of pictures oh her, every time I go, I go through about three rolls of film. when I was in the hosptial, I went threw TEN rolls.. lol.. I just had to take the camera.. I will bring the video camera this time too.. thanks everyone for your advice. I'm seeing her on the 18th of this month.. I can't wait.. I haven't seen her since the end of July. Wish me luck !

[MkMw]

I love the Duck Feet - I have no advice (sorry!) - except (as usual) I agree with HappyTwinsMom

[BMlaurie]

Good luck sweetie!

[Yali]

Jamie, I am a birth mother in a VERY open adoption. My son stays with me over weekends and holidays. But this has grown over time.
The first time I asked for a 'special' request (something not discussed prior to the adoption) I didn't get any response for about a week. We had been in daily touch as well.
It turns out, it was just a bit much a bit fast for the Adoptive mom. She wasn't quite prepared and wasn't sure how to react. It wasn't something she didn't want, she just didn't know what she felt or how to go about it.
Perhaps this is the same type of situation. Could you ask what their comfort level is?
You can always wait - as difficult as it is - but we must remember how hard it is on their end as well.
Best wishes to you.
Yali

[Jenna_f24]

Yali, I believe in an early reply that I made, that I stated that I knew what I was going to do. Thank you for your comments, but to add that little negative last minute sentence, was pretty shallow. If someone has made up their mind, why don't you just leave it alone next time..

[Skye Hardwick]

Jenna,

Keep in mind, that most people don't read all through a thread before replying ..she was most likely just reading your first post and decided to reply. Although they should read through a thread ..can you honestly say you always do? I know I don't always

I know I have a few threads that I've started months ago ..and people are still replying like it is a brand new problem, lol.

Also, I don't think she meant to be negative ... sometimes on the net things come out sounding wrong. She is right, things are rough on the other side of things ...but of course, this thread wasn't about their problems, but yours.

I'm glad you found your answer!!

Take care,

Skye

[Skye Hardwick]

Emmaspop,

You said: "May I ask why you want to videotape?"

I can't speak for Jenna, but most likely the same reason why you would want to videotape - To be able to capture the presiousness of that age ...to be able to view the video at anytime ...to remember.

And please don't take this wrong, I truly am curious, but I've never heard of an adoptive parent being upset that their child's birthmom wants to take a few pictures .... I don't see what the problem would be? I mean, if your adoption is open enough to include visitiation ...doesn't the camera come with that?


Jenna,

Bring the camera girl ...what happens if when you got there they said it was okay, and then you didn't have it with you? You'd be bummed out beyond belief.

Besides, you already made your choice!

Take care,

Skye

[Jenna_f24]

Thank you Skye, you said what needed to be said, without me even having to post. I also would like to add, that your websites are AMAZING !!!! They DO make you want to grab a nice warm cup of tea and some fuzzy slippers, that was so true ..lol.. Thank you for your promising words.. hugs and prayers...

[Skye Hardwick]

Thanks Jenna!

Keep checking back ....over the next three weeks I got a whole bunch of new stuff coming! Even cute graphics ...new pages ...more writing and stories.

I know I'm excited! (lol, dork alert)

I don't know ...I think sometimes folks forget that bMoms are Moms too ...and we like to do the things that all Moms like to do ...like take photos, make scrapbooks, brag about our children ....we signed away our rights to parent our children ...not our right to love them.


Take care,

Skye

[Skye Hardwick]

Emmaspop,

Thanks for your reply. Yeah, I'd feel uncomfy too if someone saw my child as a possession. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I'm pretty uncomfy on the video too ...but, I guess in ten-twenty years ...I will be thankful I got me on there. Plus, when I pass away ...which I hope won't be for a long, long time ...my children will have something special to remember me by.

Skye