[Lynreturns]

My daughter's a-parents emailed me a couple days ago. They wanted to meet me at the zoo the weekend after Thanksgiving. I emailed them back saying, I'd meet them the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I wrote the a-mother a letter. It talks about our relationship and why I've stayed away the last year. It's writtewn on my best stationary. I plan to give it to her when we meet up. It's rather reserved, not accusitory or anything. Okay, that was a bit off topic. The thing is, I'm nervous about seeing my daughter again. It doesn't seem like it's going to be any fun. Can anyone out ther give me a reason to look forward to this?

[JanetM]

Lyn,
I just read your introduction posting to get a sense of where you're coming from. I really do feel for you. While I really like my son's Aparents a lot I do worry about the feelings I may have when I see him again. I think that you should go through with this visit even though you're not looking forward to it. If visits bring you a lot of hurt and pain then I think it may be a fair thing to stop them for awhile until you are able to work through your feelings. I would take the opportunity at the zoo to give the Aparents your letter and explain to them in person that you very much love your daughter but for right now you would prefer not to see her again until YOU are ready to since right now it is very difficult for you. Let them know that you would like to be the person initiating the next visit but be nice about it to avoid offending them.

I very much relate to the feelings of if you knew then what you do now you wouldn't do it again. I do agree with Lisa wholeheartedly though-you make the best decision you can for your child at that time. It is REALLY hard but hindsight is 20/20 and I don't think its worth beating yourself up over it. I don't know if you're seeing a counselor to work through your feelings or whether that is something you would consider but I am right now and I am finding it very helpful.


Peace,

JanetM
Bmom to Andrew

[searchingwriter]

it's your daughter, you gave birth to this child. You must love her so much, that's why you should look forward to it. I haven't seen my birthmom since I entered the sixth grade. I don't even remember what she looks like! I miss her so much, and I bet your daughter misses you too. Just take it easy and let her know how much you care. Good luck and God bless.

Jessica

[jade 1]

I go to visit my child twice a year for the past 9 years. Sometimes it goes well sometimes it doesn't, but I always will do it because I want my child to know that even though I gave her up I will never stop loving her.