[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nats1stMom

Hi,
I am the FIRST mother to a beautiful 8 month old girl I placed in open adoption. I was reading the boards of Open Adoptive families, and was absolutley horrified to read that the adoptive mothers felt the children they adopted were 'gifts from God'
How on Earth could God allow one woman SO much pain, for another woman's joy? They are saying that God loves the adoptive parents more? I believe God has nothing to do with adoption. I refuse to think of my baby as a 'gift' from God to the Aparents.
What makes them so much more worthy of this 'gift?'

[Archive]

Originally Posted By TwinsMom

As the adoptive mother of 10-month-old twin girls, I do consider them "gifts from God." This is NOT to say that God created them through another woman to give to me and my husband. I believe God worked through an unfortunate situation for our birthmother to answer our prayers to be parents. I know you have a lot of anger and pain around this issue, but I don't think anyone intended to imply that you were just a "means to an end." I'm sure your daughter's adoptive parents love and value you as much as we do our girls' birthmother.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nats1stMom

Hi. First off thanks for your relpy. I thought my post was a lost cause because these messege boards are not very active.
Anyways, I disagree. I believe that by thinking adopted children are 'gifts from God' that is just another way of saying that God has deemed first mothers unworthy in order to provide
another woman the joy of motherhood. What kind of God
would do that? Your twins are not gifts from God.
They are a gift from their first mother.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By TwinsMom

I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. I don't believe God deemed our daughters' birthmother unworthy...God doesn't do that; he loves us all unconditionally. But He did guide us in our adoption journey to the children we have...and he guided their birthmom to us as parents for them. Why is wrong to believe that God has blessed us?

Your question "What kind of God would do that?" prompts me to say that I firmly believe He didn't and doesn't DO any of this. God has given all of us free will to make the choices we do...so, therefore, He allows things to happen, but doesn't cause them. I think people are too quick to blame God for things when it's more likely our own choices that caused whatever happened in the first place.

In addition, I believe ALL children, adopted or not, are gifts from God to their families. My children just happen to have a different kind of family that includes a birth family including mother, sister, aunts, cousins, grandfather, etc.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nats 1stMom

You said it- God has given us free will to make the
choices we do...
Yet you believe God has brought you your children?
that doesnt make any sense.
I never said I BLAMED God for anything, I just dont
feel he'd allow so much pain for one woman so another
has joy. But I've said this already.
And for the people who dont blame God for problems,
yet praise God for joys, they are just phony.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nats 1stMom

You said it- God has given us free will to make the
choices we do...
Yet you believe God has brought you your children?
that doesnt make any sense.
I never said I BLAMED God for anything, I just dont
feel he'd allow so much pain for one woman so another
has joy. But I've said this already.
And for the people who dont blame God for problems,
yet praise God for joys, they are just phony.
That is just saying that god is only in it for the good.
God has nothing to do with anything, certainly not
adoption

[Archive]

Originally Posted By TwinsMom

This has been an interesting debate, but if all you want to do is prove others wrong and yourself right, we're wasting time. I thought you were trying to see another side of the situation. Obviously, we each have a very different picture of who God is and how He works in our lives. Besides, I never said God caused someone else pain to bring me joy. That's ludicrous. The God I have a personal relationship with doesn't push someone else down to elevate another. May God richly bless you!

[Archive]

Aren't ALL children gifts from G-d?????????????

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Ang

God is an amazing God...He has His hand in every thing.Im so sorry for you pain.Out of your pain a beautiful baby was born.God has blessed you in that.That gift will always be yours..You inturn allowed another to be blessed.All children are from God...Another example..when a person dies and is a donor..does God not bless those who get the donors organs? Yes there is great pain for the donors family but arent they too a part of the blessing? The pain may not leave but at the sametime the knowledge that Gods will be done should bring peace and let yourself be blessed in knowing that you loved enough to do the right thing for your child.God has a plan for everything/ everyone. We are waiting for our baby...we know that God knows who he or she is.About 9 years ago we had some friends who gave thier baby up..just going through it with them, made us respect and love them as never before...How they loved thier son so much that they were willing to through 9 months( she had a hard labor and had to have a c section) to let him go was so amazing. They greived, it was very hard, but at the same time they knew it was the best thing.They are still very satisfied with what they chose to do.That is Gods peace on them and His love through them. Thank you

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nats1stMom

Excuse me? I in turn, blessed someone else?? NOT hardly. I just dont see how people can be so big on God. With all the suffering in the world, people think God is great. I am NOT blaming God. I just feel He isnt all that powerful and wonderful as people make him out to be. How could he?? He allows great 'blessings' but doest allow pain and suffering? Thats hypocritical

[Archive]

Originally Posted By birthmom Jamie

Lets not forget that Satan has a great hand in allot of the bad & wicked things that happen in this world.I'm not talking about babies or adoption. In the bible it says that Satan is here on this earth to kill, steal & destroy along with 1/3 of the fallen angels that are part of the demonic forces.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By reality

You all speak of children as possessions! Like nothing more than prizes. God has brought perfect children into your lives (either through birth or adoption) and you spend your time thinking his intention is so trivial as to cause joy or pain??? God's intention is for you to look beyond yourselves, to see your children as the individuals that they are, and know He is counting on you to do your part as a first parent or a forever parent to give them everything they need to become the unique individuals that they are - influenced by all the people who love them.

[May]

As a birthmom...

My birthdaughter's adoptive parents have told me before that they think of her as a gift from God. I think that God led me to place my daughter with them, so they're right, he gave her to them. It was only with a TON of praying that I decided on what I did. I also think that in the same process God gave wonderful parents to my daughter, and both a wonderful daughter and wonderful opportunities to me.

I don't think that God causes people to suffer, he just lets it happen sometimes. Satan and PEOPLE make people suffer. God let me suffer to teach me a greater lesson than I could have learned otherwise, and as much as it still hurts, I appreciate that. I think it all has to do with how you think of God. My thinking is biblically based, so I think that he's loving and cares about every aspect of my life, but he's also powerful and just and lets consequences happen.

[jrae2]

I was raised in an environment where God was the higher power. When I became pregnant at 17, I wanted to do the best I could for that child, and felt that giving him to someone with more life experience than I had would benefit him.
I never imagined I was making such a life altering change. I never imagined the ramifications. I believe in God, but there were years there were I truly questioned it all. I had so much anger, such a sense of hopelessness, shame, and betrayal. I became defensive and pushed people away out of spite, more to myself. I did not deserve anything good, is the way that I felt.
I finally began to understand that God is not spiteful or cruel. He was far more willing to forgive me of the things I had done to myself than I was. He showed me a way to make an accident into a miracle. The fact is at 17 I had little to offer a child. I made the choice.
There is a saying I have heard. "The next time the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future." I believe he allowed me to wallow in my self doubt and shame to keep me from seeing the love that was involved in giving my son up for adoption. I won't allow him to do that to me anymore. God's love is far stronger than the devil's desire to keep me down in my self pity. I believe that God loves us all unconditionally, and when I was seventeen and pregnant I knew I could not raise a child. The couple I found had been ready and willing for so long. That child needed to be raised. And that is how I believe God shows his love for us. Bringing us together in times of need.