[portlowski]

We had another great visit with DS's bmom S and her fmaily last night. We see S about once a month. I ask her what she wants to do and her answer is "whatever...I don't care I just like being with you guys."

I have included S in a lot of day to day activities like diaper changes, feeding, bathtime, going to the park, etc. I know that giving him one bath isn't going to make up for placing him and that isn't my intention, but I guess I want her to be able to partcipate in these small milestone events so when he gets older she'll be able to say, "I did that with you and your mom."

I have left her alone with DS several times (once when I sent to the dentist but usually for a short time like while I run to the store or walk the dog) so she can have some time with him without me looking over her shouder.

So enough rambling...what kinds of things do you like to do with your placed children? What would an ideal visit be like? Is there anything you wish you could do but worry would be a boundary issue for the aparents?

DS is almost 3 and I am always looking for ideas for future visits...

[thanksgivingmom]

Okay, all of the things you have said sound - AWESOME. I think having her participate in some of those milestone events is very cool for her, but I think it will be VERY cool for your son!

I know that the alone time that I have had with Cupcake is some of my most precious. (Though my alone time is more like a few minutes off just the two of us at the park while her Mom reads on the other side of the park or something). But it's so wonderful!

I think interactive visits are so much fun! Cupcake is almost three also, and we mostly do parks and things. Are there any good children's museums for little ones in your area? I've been thinking about suggesting this as our next visit

Oh, and the things that you DO are the things I wish I could do but worry about being a boundary issue....

OH! One more thing that I thought of though! I've always had a secret-ish fantasy of having pictures taken (like nice ones) with Cupcake. Maybe a couple of her by herself, one of me with her, one of her with both me and Dee, and of course I would expect Dee to take one with just the two of them! I think you can get these done for not too great a cost at the mall, sears, etc.

[portlowski]

Thanks TGmom.

We have done Children's museums and the zoo and S and her mom and dad and boyfriend even took DS (without me...just all of them) to Kiddieland which is a children's amusement park.

I hadn't thought about special pics...we take them at our visits but not professional ones. That sounds like a good idea...maybe as an Xmas present. Especially since S has recently lost a LOT of weight...she might be very excited to have special pics with DS (and some of all of us).

I am on a pretty big high after Sunday night...we had fmaily dinner at my house and it just felt so relaxed and "natural" like we all belong together. I know S will have ups and downs about her decision to place, but her acceptance of us and her support has made me able to be more and more open.

[thanksgivingmom]

I think as a Christmas present would be perfect! I couldn't think of anything that I would love more

I think it sounds like you are on a really great course right now! Hope it continues this way for you all!!!

[susie_book]

We've only had a few visits so far, but we've got sort of a pattern down; we all get together for lunch and then eat out somewhere, then go back to the house and just chat, maybe play cards while the kid has a nap. Then some kind of activitiy--this month we'll be going to the Chinese Gardens in town--then we have dinner at the house, and then after hanging out for another couple of hours, whoever needs to drive home does. It sounds super boring when I write it out, but it's really comfortable and friendly. When the kid gets older, I expect we will start doing children's museums etc. If it feels comfortable for you, you're probably doing a good thing. =)

[SchmennaLeigh]

We hang out. Our visits are usually for a weekend (or longer) as we have to travel quite a distance (6+ hours) to see one another. Our visits now, that we all have children, are about letting the kids play together while we sit and talk. While I always have a few moments alone with my daughter (I took her to lunch during our last visit), it is more important to/for me to watch my two parented sons play with their sister.