[m-mom]

My birth sons b-day is this week (turning 9) and I have been really emotional lately. My whole relationship with his a-family is such a dissapointment and i have really been considering pulling back from them. As i have said before, i have been put in the place to make all the contact, all the plans for visiting, all the phone calls etc and i'm emotionally worn down.

The last time I had contact with them was for my graduation in June and I had asked the a-parents to call me when they got into town so we could have a private visit without TONS of family around... and they didnt. I dont know. I'm just hurt.

i just wrote his birthday card, and i put my address and phone number in it for my b-son, and told him to call or write me when he wants a visit and to get his gifts. I can no longer have this one sided relationship. :-(

[taramayrn]

I am sorry you are doing all the work in the relationship. It must be increadibly lonely.

Birthdays are often hard for birthparents. I know for me, the upcoming birthday of my son can keep me in bed for days. I have a good relationship with my son and his family and so I can't imagine how much pain you are experiencing.

Did you place your son through an agency? If so, could they act as a mediator so you could discuss your concerns and feelings with your son's adoptive parents?

Best of luck.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Even though my relationship with the family is great, birthdays are just really hard for me. *hugs* Hang in.

[Arruniel]

My daughter's birthday is over two months away and I'm already feeling it. Her a-parents and I scheduled visits four months away from her birthday, because I was so sad. I feel less sad as the years go by, but it's still tough.

[taramayrn]

Hugs to you Arruniel as your daughter's birthday approaches.