[BrandyHagz]

Writer Sonia Nazario published a piece in the L.A. Times regarding Open Adoption today. It's a two part piece on the OA Journey of one family, adoptive and biological collectively, and how it's impacted their lives.

The L.A. Times is hosting a chat with the family tomorrow (Monday) at 3 PM PST. - I urge our members to head over and take part in the discussion, following the publication of the final part of the story.

The story, A pioneer in an experiment called open adoption - Los Angeles Times - uses first hand accounting of their journey, as told by all sides (The Child, the Adoptive Parents, The First Parents and close friends) - it's a two part series, with the second being published on Monday.

Feel free to share your comments, stories, opinions here as well as there. I can't wait to read the rest of the story, which promises to be a emotional tale of all sides and the feelings each sides has regarding their relationship dynamic.

[SchmennaLeigh]

If you view the pictures that are linked on the side of the article, it will relieve questions that you may be asking in anticipation for tomorrow's ending.

That said: the captions? On the pictures? Say "two mothers."

I cried.

[BrandyHagz]

I finished it up this morning - it's a good read. I think it tells the truths of OA - the difficulties and the frustrations from three sides.

However, I think it will be used as fuel for the anti-openness agenda. Sadly, it is a true, real life, difficult story to read - that means, even the bad stuff is there...I think many will be quick to blame Kendall's issues on their OA...

I don't know. I thought it was a good piece and I can tell that the writer really tried hard to present everyone's story without glossing over the hard stuff with sunshine and flowers.

I enjoyed reading it and I'll do my best to attend toady's chat session with the family.

[crick]

I just finished reading the whole thing....it's kind of a hard read in some ways because as an outsider to the family you can see some "obvious" things that the family could have done to avoid some of the turmoil they experienced. But, it's really easy to say that too, when you aren't the one experiencing it.

I do think that introducing the relationship and opening it at Kendall's age of 4 was part of her insecurity issues and think that had it been open from the very beginning, she might not have had some of those self esteem and fears she did have. And had the consistency and agreement between Dorrie & Patti been there from the start, I think that too might have helped things for all of them.

I'm not blaming anyone, mind you. I can't imagine how hard it was to "pioneer" this situation and not having the support back then that people have now with groups, sites like ours etc.

Have to think a bit more... Anyone else have thoughts?

[crick]

Oops...sorry...just realized you posted this in Bparents Open Adoption! So, sorry if it's an intrusion!

[BrandyHagz]

Crick,

I posted here because I'm a first mom

We invite anyone/everyone to participate (you know that ) regardless of triad position - provided they consider the forum where they are participating

Honest discussion is always welcome!

[crick]

Yes I know...but I was being nice for a change

Did anyone think that it mirrored your own relationships in any way? Did you see some of yourself in the story and perhaps thought..."I need to do xx" or maybe a "I'm glad I do xx"?

[SchmennaLeigh]

I just blogged on both parts of the article here.

I also hit on how the article shows a need for consistency and good communication. However, I also talked strongly about how we're hearing from an adoptee who lived the open adoption life and leaves us with a good quote on the matter. (Not that our Brandy doesn't leave us with good quotes on the matter but no one wants to listen to her!)

I think it was well-handled, especially considering the (obvious to us!) mistakes the family made over the course of time. I don't think the author pointed fingers at any specific side but looked at the situation(s) from a detached and realistic point of view.

For a change, I'm pleased. If I can (this is if, as it's not a convenient time for our family!), I'll be hitting the chat at 3pm (pacific) as well. Anyone else?

[thanksgivingmom]

I'll be at work but would LOVE to be in the chat, so maybe if my bosses aren't watching.....

[SchmennaLeigh]

Ah, unfortunately, it's a moderated chat so that should make for some boring exchanges.

[SchmennaLeigh]

That said, the birth mother, adoptive mother and adoptee all joined the chat.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Kendall is my hero. That is all.

[maricela]

I couldn't get on from work...would LOVE to hear how it went!

[BrandyHagz]

I am REALLY enjoying it.

It's clear what their thoughts are on OA

I agree, Kendall's a loud voice, for sure!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Also enjoying it. Basically because I win. More on that later.