[SchmennaLeigh]

So, L (Munchkin's birth father) can't come to the birthday party due to work and meetings. I figured that he would just not come at all. Nope.

He's coming today with a present for her.

I feel like vomiting.

I know this is the best thing for the Munchkin. She needs to know that she comes from good people on both sides. She needs to know that she's loved by both biological parents.

But so much is going on in my head...

This is the FIRST TIME that he will see her. (Minus pictures.) It will be hard for him. He knows that. I've attempted to help him prepare for this but... well, everyone deals in their own way, of course.

And honestly? This is the first time that I've seen him since April 24, 2003. Thankfully, I've worked through a lot of my anger with him in therapy but... things are different when you SEE someone, ya know? I don't feel angry at him as I'm writing this. I'm just nervous.

And I'm excited for the Munchkin. And nervous. And a bit overwhelmed.

And a whole bunch of other stuff.

He's been working towards this moment for three years. In the past year, he's been ACTIVELY working towards it by talking to J&D via email and phone. He's finally there.

And for some reason, I don't feel ready. I'm sure there's more to all of this but I just haven't dug deeper yet. HAd to get this out while I wait to take my shower.

[lonni]

OH MY GOODNESS.................. What a large moment-.HUGE MOMENT I hope it goes wonderful Jenna.

[kelceesmom]

Wow That is a huge step for all involved. You are doing such a great job in relating to what your feelings are. I don't think I would be as stable as you. Good luck with everything.

[InBlindFaith]

((((JENNA))))

You will be able to waltz through this with no problem!! Afterwards you will probably be laughing about how you were so nervous over nothing.

Just remember when this is going on...you are an amazing woman!! I have faith in you girl!! We are here for you!!

((((MORE HUGS))))

[bromanchik]

Oh honey, I hear you... Matt was eight when he first saw his birthfather, I remember it like it was yesterday. I also had not seen him in a long while.

Call me if you want to process. I am here all day.

[loveajax]

GL, Jenna! I hope that it goes well....

I don't know what your relationship is/was like with Munchkin's birth father, but I think I would vomit just seeing old boyfriends that I haven't seen in years. So I am sure you are nervous, but I just know that it will work out well. And what a great thing for Munchkin...

I hope this is not too personal, but is Munchkin's birth dad AA and her a parents not (this is the situation with my DD)? In that respect, too, I think it will be really great for her to meet/know her birth dad.

[lahdh4]

Jenna, I hope it all went well. (((HUGS)))
Just remember to breathe

[SchmennaLeigh]

The short version of today's events:

It went well. L got a little bit overwhelmed with emotion in the first few minutes here. He couldn't keep his eyes off of the Munchkin who had on her "princess dress" and was dancing for the entire visit. She liked his present (Dora!). L got along well with J&D. He asked normal questions and got good answers. For example, he asked what "she is like." J told him about her likes, dislikes, how she reacts to situations, her personality. L seemed to be soaking it all in.

I walked him out to his car. He said he could have stayed longer and just watched her dance. He then asked "what is the next step." I explained, as J had before we walked out the door, that he could take it as slowly as he needed. He seems to be already thinking ahead to the next visit.

This was a huge step for him. And a needed one. The Munchkin responded well to him and even gave him hugs and kisses.

This is a huge relief for me in ways. I need more time to process precisely why but a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders, my heart.

More later.

That wasn't very quick version like at all!

[browneyes0707]

I think you handled it beautifully. I could only hope that in your shoes I would be the same way

[MicheleB]

Jenna - glad to hear it went well and that you are feeling some relief. Sounds like an amazing experience.

Take Care!

[bromanchik]

It sounds like it went very well. I think the "weight" part is simply this... We want our children to be loved and accepted by all the people who make them who they are. She is a part of him.

[lonni]

I am glad it went smoothly.Your children are adorable and that is sweet how munchkin danced the whole time;~))

[lahdh4]

Originally Posted by bromanchik

It sounds like it went very well. I think the "weight" part is simply this... We want our children to be loved and accepted by all the people who make them who they are. She is a part of him.

I agree 100% with you on that Brenda.

[Vogi2002]

Wow jenna- it sounds like it went well!! I am sure some of the weight is it actually happening and it went GOOD...and the sky didn't fall down or rocks fly out of the wall...or some other crazy thing we think about when we have such a long time to think of all the "what - if's" LOL.

Plus...you seeing him...for the first time in such a long time, maybe a part of you was worried about how you would react, or he would react (not because of anything other than the emotions it brings up with Muchkin, etc).

[blessedbybug]

So thankful this visit went so well. And I am even more grateful that you're feeling lighter because of it. Blessing to you and Munchkin!!!