[MelissaJohnson]

I don't read the forums often, either here or canadaadopts, because I find that when ever I read of a mom deciding to place her child I want to scream and yell out that she shouldn't do it. That it is such a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem. (I stole that from suicide prevention I know)

I read about the reasons to place and why they can't parent and I want to cry because I thought simular things. And I was wrong and I can't change it now.

It just makes me so sad that I can't take all these women to my house and help them find a way to parent.

[m-mom]

Mellissa-
I interned at a pregancy center this summer and I would feel the same sense of saddness when I would see girls as young as 15 pregnant. Or, when i would look at at 21 yrs old file and she was pregnant with her 3rd child and was single.

I knew that these girls had a life of hardship ahead of them.

Personally, i know adoption can be a very sad experience, but it can also give birth moms and their children a life that neither would have otherwise.

[SchmennaLeigh]

I feel the same way, Melissa. However, I'm sure that you realize that women are going to make their own decisions no matter the amount of screaming and yelling. It will be healthy for you to separate your circumstance from supporting these women, no matter their decisions.

My therapist and I just talked about this yesterday. I blogged about it: Birth / First Parent Blog. It's heavy stuff. And I do understand. You're not alone on that one at all. *hugs*

[msdesi]

Originally Posted by MelissaJohnson

I don't read the forums often, either here or canadaadopts, because I find that when ever I read of a mom deciding to place her child I want to scream and yell out that she shouldn't do it. That it is such a permanent solution to what could be a temporary problem. (I stole that from suicide prevention I know)

I read about the reasons to place and why they can't parent and I want to cry because I thought simular things. And I was wrong and I can't change it now.

It just makes me so sad that I can't take all these women to my house and help them find a way to parent.

I hear you. What I do right now is avoid the "Considering your options" forum unless I'm feeling especially strong because I know at this time I could not be supportive to a woman who is choosing to place. She needs and deserves support but that's something I do not feel equipped to give so I leave it alone and let others do the replying and give support. I've always said that knowing what you are not willing to do is so important in this life. We all have things we won't do...no one is exempt and when you know yourself this way, I feel it helps make things a little less confusing.

(((hugs)))