[SchmennaLeigh]

Overall, and this means pick one, what is your general feeling towards your OWN PERSONAL ADOPTION. (Meaning; what you feel a MAJORITY of the time when thinking about/discussing your own adoption. We have moments of other feeling but this should be your MAIN feeling.)

And then, in the discussion, please discuss whether your feelings re: your own personal adoption and your feelings re: adoption in general are the exact same, vastly different or along the same lines with some minor discrepencies. Also feel free to elaborate on your choice, your emotion, etc.

PS - I can only come up with so many emotions so, I did put other. Please only choose other if you feel that you don't fit into ANY category.

PPS - Sorry for the type in the subject of the poll. That should read "your." Ah, Mondays.

[firstparentblog]

I chose sad, but I feel A MILLION things about both my adoption and my son's adoption. I feel sad that my first mother wasn't in a place to care for me. I feel sad that I didn't get to grow up with my biological siblings. I feel sad that my first father passed on before I was even born, so I'll never know the man that helped create me.

As far as my son's adoption goes, I feel sad that I was in the situation in the first place that I needed to place my child rather than parent him. I feel sad that he isn't growing up in my home. I feel sad that I am missing all of his firsts and what not.

My feelings on adoption are in general the same. It makes me sad for the most part when any child is separated from a loving, caring, capable parent for reasons that maybe didn't last or in the long run could have been overcome.

[bromanchik]

I feel proud. For 21 years he parents and I hve worked hard to give Matt all the support and love he deserves. We had ups and downs but I feel we've come to a good place.

[Montraviatommyg]

At the moment I'm going through conflicting emotions such as sadness, anger and at times numb. The sadness comes from both of us pulling back, anger for the reasons why and numb as that's my way of coping.

Pip

[Mommy24]

I voted for anxious and worried, mainly because as most of you know my semi open adoption was closed by the aparents with no known reason to me as to why?! I have read and re-read the last letter from D and everything in that letter screams "we are so happy that we have a connection" nothing remotely seems like they were going to stop communication. So, my worries lie in that they were leaving for vacation at the end of the week, driving from Florida to New Hampshire and then on to somewhere else, that is the last I heard from them. The PoBox was closed with no forwarding addy, so did they use that chance to be done with me, I really dont believe that is the case, not after 7 yrs of contact! OR Did something tragic happen and no one has ever notified me?? My questions will go unanswered until he reaches the age I can search or god willing he searches for me. So yes I am anxious and worried and if it all is OK then I will be ANGRY. Yet greatful that they are alive and well, gosh do I make any sense anymore

[numbr1dbcksfan]

I voted for guilty/shameful.
Sorry.
Still view it as letting down my daughter.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Just a heads up that this poll was meant for firstparents. I didn't specify but I should have. Sorry.

I voted for torn because I can never come to a general consensus on how I feel, which is fine for right now. There are times when I am okay with things (never quite happy). There's the guilt. There's the anger. The sadness. SIGH. It's all a mix. So, torn!!!!

[Stagal]

I feel happy about my adoption. I have always known i was adopted, and my mum and her bro are adopted too. There were never any secrets. So i have never felt the need to feel sad. my family and i actually joke about it......"i hope they kept the reciept so we can return you" and i say " well they chose me, you just came"

hope this helps.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Stagal, as I clarified, which I should have worded better, I was trying to get a feel for firstparents view on their adoptions. But I am 100% glad that you are happy in your own! Gives me hope for my own firstborn!

[firstparentblog]

Sorry if I caused confusion as well. I didn't mean to, but when asked how I feel about adoption in general there is no way I can address it without talking about my own adoption as well.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Pssh, Maja you're cool.

[teaspoon]

I chose "torn." I feel happy for my daughter, because she has parents who love her and are good people who will raise her well. But I feel sad for myself because I miss her. I also feel proud, that I was able to make a good choice for her.

[banjo]

Sad, sad that I made a mistake that I can't fix and sad that my bdaughter doesn't want to be a part of my life - so much for open adoption - it doesn't always have some happy ending...

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by banjo

it doesn't always have some happy ending...

No, it doesn't, does it? *BIG BIG HUGS*

[JoEvans]

I also picked torn. Because I had given up three children. At different times in their lives, at difficult times in my life.

I feel relieved: knowing they have been well taken care of.
I feel disappointed: in my self for not being able to care for them.
I feel Happy: when I get to talk to my daughters.
I feel anxious: not knowing if my son will ever want to find me.
And there were days when I felt JOYFUL, but that was the day the three of them were born. All three pregnancies were different, and all three of my children are still my pride and joy.
most of all.. I feel blessed: for the chance to be a mommy. Even though, I feel ashamed: because of the situations I found myself in at the times I had gotten pregnant.
At times, I feel numb: empty inside.. like something is missing from my life. wondering what it would of been like, If I could of raised the three of them myself. What kind of adults would they have turned into? Would they be as mature, well behaved, and happy as they are today?
I feel like I want another chance: I want to see my three children all together. I want this in the worst way. Not to take them away from their families.. but just to reunite and have a recent pic. I want to see all my babies again, before I die.(hey, I am not getting younger. )