Coercion/Pressure by ANYONE? - Page 3

***taramayrn*** · #31 03-21-2006, 05:26 PM

Don't you know that nurses are perfect by nature?!

happygmom · #32 03-21-2006, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FH-taramayrn

Don't you know that nurses are perfect by nature?!

Well, SOME are! LOL -thought something was up so I read your profile. Got me good Nurse taramay"rn".

Happy G'Ma

***taramayrn*** · #33 03-21-2006, 07:01 PM

LOL you got me I'm one of those "perfect RN's"

just kidding - totally far from perfect.

scarlet52698 · #34 03-21-2006, 08:54 PM

Quote:

I am so sorry that you were exposed to that. Did you get counseling in the home to help you deal with those feelings? Did the SWs encourage you to spend time with your baby after birth? Just curious how long ago that was and if the homes have changed at all

We did have counselors but they were geared to making sure we stayed on the adoption track. And that was 1987 so I don't know if homes are still the same now.

The thousands of dollars in therapy I've spent over the last 19 years helped me deal with those feelings though

coco46 · #35 03-21-2006, 10:06 PM

In a 180 degree turn around from the original discussion...I was pressured to parent by bdad's parents.

Obviously bdad was not in a position to be a full time dad and I was no better off than he was. So I was a little upset when I received comments like "we can work something out" and "why would you give our grandchild away?" fairly regularly.

With apologies to grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, or helping to, and are successful and well-adjusted in those relationships, bdad's parents were *ahem* dysfunctional in their own right. I'm being polite here, so I don't want to elaborate, but I would never have considered allowing them to raise K.

I don't wish to stray too far off the topic at hand. I just wanted to point out that some of us received pressure to parent as well, and the so-called "support system" that was the cause of that was nearly as ill-equipped to parent as we were.

BoxerLady6 · #36 03-22-2006, 08:03 AM

Coco,
I was pressured to parent too. By b-dad and society. Its interesting to read how many felt pressured to place.No one ever even mentioned placing to me at all. My mom wanted me to abort and b-dad wanted me to parent, along with all my friends but they did not pressure me. B-dad said when he found out I was pregnant "hey..you HAVE to be a mother to my kid....you don't have a choice, you are having her/him!!! (didn't know the sex yet at the time) When I went to crisis pregency centers for finincal help, no one mentioned placing either, even though I mentioned I didn't really want to parent the only other choice they gave me was abort. They were extremely rude and told me I just "had to deal with it".

MMC66 · #37 03-26-2006, 08:49 AM

Addy's bmom was pressured to parent. However she was not young and had seen many of her friends in dire financial and social situations try to parent, she even had friends whos children had been taken away by DHHS so she was pretty adimant that she could not raise a child and did not ever seem to waver in her decision.

Another thing that happened that was sort of backwards were the social workers at the hospital pressuring her really hard to rethink her decision (as we all are taught) She got furious with them and just wanted to enjoy her time with us and with Addy before we said good bye. Kinda ironic........

HOWEVER, now as she is away from the situation, away from her pregnancy, still in a really bad financial and social situation, I think she feels a bit of the stigma of deciding not to parent. She is in a shelter where there are families and lots of kids. She knows she made the right decision and I don't honestly think she has regrets but it can't be easy. Geez, it can't be easy.

Martha

SchmennaLeigh · #38 03-26-2006, 08:52 AM

I would imagine it is hard for Addy. I'm just thankful she has your understanding and compassion. Kudos to you.

MMC66 · #39 03-26-2006, 08:56 AM

Addy is only 17 months so she is handling things quite well for the time being

The future could be tough.

SchmennaLeigh · #40 03-26-2006, 09:14 AM

*head,desk* Please blame my current medicine head state for naming the wrong person.

Stupid sinus infection.

I'm sure you knew what I meant. *giggles*

m-mom · #41 07-01-2006, 10:09 PM

I agree Stinky. I was 16 when I was pregnant and working at Taco bell! The looks I got were horrible. I have a very young face too, so i'm sure people thought I was 12.

View Poll Results: Did you feel pressured coerced by anyone to place your child?
No.	13	33.33%
Yes, my family. (Anyone related to you.)	16	41.03%
Yes, my friends.	4	10.26%
Yes, the child's biological father.	8	20.51%
Yes, the agency/social worker.	15	38.46%
Yes, the adoptive family once a match was initiated.	6	15.38%
Yes, society in general.	13	33.33%
Yes, the hospital staff or doctor's office where I received prenatal care.	4	10.26%
Yes, the child's biological father's family.	4	10.26%
Yes, someone of religious importance.	5	12.82%
Yes, my counselor who was not attached to the agency/social worker.	0	0%
Yes, the child's biological mother. (For our birthfathers here.)	1	2.56%
Yes, the child's biological mother's family. (Birthfathers again.)	1	2.56%
Yes, people on the internet.	2	5.13%
Yes, other birthparents who told me of their good experiences.	2	5.13%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 39. You may not vote on this poll

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