[SchmennaLeigh]

LOL. He does need encouragement now and again. And that's how we do our families: I handle talking to mine about the BIG THINGS and he does the same on his end. It just works. Thus far, it works, I should say. I'm nervous about this issue, but, really, it's technically out of my hands.

Heh, matching picture frames, Claud? You sound like me.

And yeah, my anxiety? I can't call to order pizza. I'm awesome. :-\

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Um Jenna. You sound just like me. I dont even have a phone because it is so hard to call people. Im lucky my boss is understanding. lol. (He basically IS my shrink.)

My most anxious time was when I was in Texas.. I was SAHM, I knew no one. 1/2 the time I was there Ron was deployed to Iraq. It was miserable. I had awful panic attacks.


I still never pulled out of that isolation.

I freak out if people are walking behind me.
On bad days I cant even handle two people talking to me at once.

I dont know how you make the calls to the Dr's that you do. I cant do it without crying.

You are so not alone.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Josh helps me a lot. He encourages me (a nice way of saying forces) to step out of my safety zone. Otherwise, I wouldn't have made the calls. Or gone to the appointment. And the other one today.

I'd just sit at home in my PJs.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

That has to be very helpful.

[coco46]

From tiny tot to brand new big sister...I have K all over my house. I even have her mom and dad in a couple!

So far I've escaped most questions. I have lots of pictures in frames around, and every kid we know is on our fridge, so most folks just don't notice, I guess. Or maybe they do, a lot more than I think, and they just don't want to bring it up, LOL.

When people ask, I tell a brief version of the story if they are close to me and I feel I can trust them. If it's merely an acquaintance, I simply say "This is K, my friends K & D's daughter." Which is absolutely true, but allows me to escape sharing personal history with people I don't really want to explain myself to. Also, no one has been bold enough yet to remark on the striking resemblance between us after the "short" answer.

And Jenna...if you don't want confrontation with Josh's dad's family, it's OK to keep your display private, too. JMHO.

[Montraviatommyg]

Jenna,

I mean this in the nicest possible way as Josh sounds an absolute rock...it is his problem not yours. Doesn't make it any easier though so just bear with him as he is supportive off you and accepting of Munchkin. Him being accepting of her is the most important thing here.

I was very fortunate in my situation that my in-laws are accepting of my son particularly in the circumstances. When my son was searching he found my husband's brothers who hadn't known about him at the time. Rightly or wrongly I didn't want to tell my in-laws about him unless reunion happened and my husband felt that it was non of their business. A side issue was that his eldest brother's (3rd ) wife was already making snide remarks that my husband couldn't have children as all his brothers and sisters have children. As we don't she often made horrible remarks about us not having children. She wasn't to know that the problem was (is) with me husband but the remarks still hurt. Anyway back to the point as my brother-in-laws didn't know he really was who he said they didn't tell him where we were. The eldest one was quite nasty to him as we had fallen out with him so he also got it in his head that this was a way for us to pull a prank on him to cause even more trouble. The other one wouldn't tell him anything as he thought my son was up to no good and lying about who he was.

We didn't know any of this until I found my son and he told us what he had done so we asked my sister in law (husband's eldest sister) if she knew anything about this. She confirmed she did and also that nothing had been said to us as they thought it was some kind of hoax ... that he was out to cause trouble for us so didn't want to worry us. My s-i-l was furious that one of the brothers had been been nasty about us to him and nasty to him...that is the only in-law we don't have contact with. We have tried laying our differences to rest with him as he has heart problems and we do actually care about him but he wont have any of it. It's no longer personal to us as he is upstting the rest of the family as well. Since reunion the rest of my in-laws have been supportive so I can't fault them at all...my problems are more with my family who refuse to talk about him despite them having intermittent contact with him .

Loads of hugs to both you and Josh...you have a great husband .

Pip

[bromanchik]

Jenna,
I am so sorry about the anxiety. Believe it or not I have been there.

And Josh will need to take the flack for not telling them sooner...

Hey! Any chance you are in NE Ohio? Maybe we could get together?

[mom2sweetpea2]

I have a really cool frame that I love, its from Carolina Beach. NC and has dolphins all over it. Which has nothing to do with the picture inside it but I love it. The pice inside it is my son being held by his Amom. Yu have to remember that he is going to be 3 months old in 6 days. The people that come to my house know who the photo is. It just sits ion my computer desk and I dont think anything about it. If someone asked that I didnt feel needed to know I would just tell them that it is some really close family. I am going to put up an 8*10 of them soon and tell people that it is just some close family if they would ask. That is what I consider them. They have helped make me who I am today. Just as I have helped make then what they are today.

[ermiller]

(((Jenna)))

Just popping in to say that I'm thinking of you.

Don't worry (haha I know) about the pictures now... Get through some of this anxiety and hopefully you will be able to make a comfortable decision.

Hang in there girl!!
Erin

[SchmennaLeigh]

Brenda,

No, no. SE Ohio. Stupid wrong part of Ohio! *giggles*

I'm feeling a bit more calm today. With everyone asking questions my anxiety level kept rising! But it just comes back to: Josh will take care of it in his own time. While I maybe would have rathered he have stepped up and told all ready, I know that he knows them better than myself. So, when he feels it's the right time, he'll do it.

Or, Nick will do it for him. Something.

I know EVENTUALLY I'll be able to hang pictures. Right now, I'll just put the one back on my nightstand.

If I ever find these mystery boxes containing things. (MOVING STINKS!)

[eastendmommy]

I do not have a picture displayed in my home of my oldest son. Not that I wouldn't like to have one, but I don't. The only picture that I have ever had for the last 25 years is one little bitty wallet sized polaroid (it was cut before I got it to remove the background; did they think that I would find that living room and come and steal him back?) It has been in my wallet for the past 25 years, old and tattered and torn, but I cherish it. I wish that I had an 8x10 on my wall with my other childrens pictures! Maybe someday. Tammi

[irish11970]

Tammi,
Take that picture to Walmart and have it scanned and blown up into an 8x10. I had 13 pictures my mom and I took after my daughter's birth, and I am in the process of trying to decide which ones to blow up etc. They aren't very good pics, they were taken with a disk camera.... remember those?!?! They are a bit grainy, but I am keeping my fingers crossed!
Take Care,
Jenn

[MommaKatja]

No one who isn't fully aware of my son usually comes to my house so the pics dont bring up any questions for me at home however my older sister has a wall of various family photos including a few of my son. At a few of her get togethers her friends have asked questions (not always politely) which I've answered completely honestly. Maybe because I have nothing to lose if they disapprove they arn't my friends. The pictures in my wallet are the ones that bring the most questions because a lot of people see them who I dont feel like sharing my story with. In these instances I agree with Coco46 a simple "thats M, my friend M and J's son" isn't giving too much info but is still true.

[Jessiedo]

I had 2 good photos one of which I displayed in my bedroom on and off over 20 yrs. If anyone asked...I said it was my cousin's baby...

When our reunion took place my birthdaughter's mom mailed me over 300 (YES 300 HUNDRED!! ) photos which had been sent to her (decreased) grandmother over the years. I even rec'd a report card...

I gradually began displaying photos after my husband's family was told of my birthdaughter and as I became less fragile and felt that I could speak about her while maintaining composure. Now, arranged nicely in a group on the wall, are six 5x7's in the living room at various ages, one 8x10 (the most recent photo she sent me) and a few of the toddler years in our bedroom.

Tammi, all of my original photos are in an album (the over 300 I rec'd) If you know someone w/ a scanner they could scan it and email it to you and you could print it out any size you wish.

[sugarbabysmommy]

Tammi, if you go to Kinkos you should find a Kodak photo kiosk called Kodak Picture Maker. It scans your picture and gives basic options for enlarging, cropping, even options to make it black and white, color correct a faded picture. It's not super cheap but it only takes a few minutes and you could have a new picture for your wall